I didn't know how to title this and couldn't figure out how to search for what I wanted, so hopefully I can gain some insight.
I'm starting to feel that I correct (for lack of a better word) my children just to correct them. One example goes a little something like this: We're eating dinner and my oldest child (3.5 YO) wants to be fed. My partner does it, happily. I get annoyed and then make a point to say, non-passionately, "Let's try to feed ourselves now." Then I sit back, replay what just happened, shifting between wondering why the hell I care and coming up with reasons why I care (some acceptable, some ridiculous). This happens for various things, but the food example is recent.
So, my question is, how did/do you figure out what things matter to you? Book recommendations are also appreciated.