Despite an acknowledgment for the past few years that our 4yoDS is clearly "sensitive," my DH is suddenly struggling significantly to accept the diagnosis. I suspect he's been lying to himself that DS would outgrow it or that somehow in the future he could just "spank" it out of him. (Note: We don't use physical punishment at all, but DH was raised that way). Today, after a haircut experience gone horribly, my DH flipped out and shamed our son for his "behavior." DH then went onto bad behavior with driving like a maniac (b/c he was angry) and then slamming doors and now giving me the silent treatment.
I am at a loss about how to help him comprehend and, I suppose, grieve what I've been discussing for years, what he's heard from the doctor, what he's witnessed and always gently, supportively acknowledged, and what DS's therapist has said. I've tried to get him to read some basic but informative reading about SPD, but he's always put it off. I'm both upset with his parenting reaction and his reaction to me as though it's my fault, and I'm feeling ever more so that I've been single parenting more than I realized.
Perhaps, this is mostly vent, but maybe someone can give me something that has helped them with their spouse.