or Connect
Mothering › Groups ›  January 2014 Due Date Club › Discussions › Preparing siblings

Preparing siblings

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 

Does anyone have any plans to help prepare their first children for a new baby?  Does anyone have any experience on how their children reacted and what worked or didn't work in those first weeks and months?

 

Of all my fears surrounding adding another child to our family, this is my greatest one.  It wasn't an easy decision for me to have a second child.  For many reasons.  But I worry most about the transition for DS.  He will barely be 2 when this little one arrives.  I'm afraid his comprehension of the change will be so limited.  His emotional ability to deal will be so narrow.  He's such a baby himself. 

post #2 of 10

My DD is a little older, she will be turning 3 shortly after we have this little one. She seems to kind of understand since we have had a few family members who have recently had babies. She knows what a baby is and points to my tummy all the time and asks, "Baby?!?" But I am a little nervous about how she will react when he or she actually gets here. She loves babies and hopefully that continues after her brother or sister is born. My plan is try make sure I still give her lots of attention. Like when baby is napping or my DH is home I spend more one on one time with her. I have seen people practically ignore their older child when the next baby comes along and I do not want to be that way!! The other thing we are doing is moving her into a toddler bed now and out of the crib daybed so we can turn it back into the crib for the baby. We want to do it now so she won't feel like the baby is taking something that is "hers." I welcome any extra advice too! That is about as far as I have gotten. lol

post #3 of 10

My son will be 6 when this little one comes along, in Kindergarten, kinda doing his own thing. But I also worry about this same thing. He's been begging for a sibling for years, so he will be thrilled... but is that in theory or actuality, I don't know yet. 

 

No advice from my experience, but a friend of mine had great luck telling her older daughter that the baby was "hers" and she needed to be very helpful, her girls are about 3 years apart.  I guess the ownership as "my baby" instead of competition for mom's time ended up being a good re-frame.

 

 

tspencer: i just noticed we are both due the 10th :D

post #4 of 10

kt mommy- Good idea about referring to the baby as her baby! We are due the same day?!?! Cool! thumb.gif

post #5 of 10
Yup! I thought the 19th or so but u/s and exam agree on the 10th!
post #6 of 10
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kt~mommy View Post

No advice from my experience, but a friend of mine had great luck telling her older daughter that the baby was "hers" and she needed to be very helpful, her girls are about 3 years apart.  I guess the ownership as "my baby" instead of competition for mom's time ended up being a good re-frame.

 

I love this idea.  Back when I was pregnant with DS, I was watching One Born Every Minute and there was a single mom with an "older" son, maybe 5 or 6.  I don't remember her birth at all - just her relationship with her first son - and it was so touching and sweet.  When he got to meet the baby, he called him (her?) "my baby" and that was also very poignant (of course everything is poignant in pregnancy isn't it??).

 

I'd like to find some books on adding a sibling.  We've been reading a lot of books with pictures of babies and talking about what the babies are doing.  And I'm trying to point them out when we go out.  He's interested.  He's also a huge helper so if that continues through the next year, he might be interested in the "my baby" concept. 

post #7 of 10

My first two are two years and a day apart. We talked about the baby and read books about new babies and watched birth videos and visited other babies. We talked about what would change and what it'll be like to have a new baby in the house. She was pretty excited and took to him immediately. We bedshared and they tandem nursed so there weren't any drastic changes.

This time we're we're doing all that but we're also referring to the baby by name.

post #8 of 10

Hah, my situation is so odd. I semi-live with the father of my baby and the father's 19 year old son. There is a 13 year age difference between my boyfriend and I, and I am closer in age to his son than to him! Anyway, his son is the reason my boyfriend finally came around (or at least mostly came around) to me keeping this baby. He is SOOOO excited about his new sibling, even if there is nearly two decades of age difference between them. His father was actually like "can you imagine having a new sibling at this point?" and his response? "Awesome!" Seriously, in this situation this boy is a hero. <3 So yeah, all the preparation went to my boyfriend *sigh*

post #9 of 10
My girls were all < 2 yrs apart and my boys just over 2 yrs apart. I don't recall doing anything in particular that helped or didn't help. Mostly just letting them love and hold and hug their sibling if they are into it and not 'create' drama or rivalry where it doesn't exist by worrying unnecessarily or pushing.
post #10 of 10
Rainbow...that is SO cool!!
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: January 2014 Due Date Club
Mothering › Groups ›  January 2014 Due Date Club › Discussions › Preparing siblings