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Baby habits thread - Page 3

post #41 of 249
Hugs and healing to you Actiasluna! I know what you mean about birth trauma and heavy is exactly the word for it! I hope that you are able to heal both physically and emotionally and that your milk supply will increase proportionally. Give yourself as much grace as you can. For me it helped to let go of the physical burdens and expectations I placed upon myself such as having a clean house and getting dressed everyday and just concentrate my energies on what was most important: healing my body and caring for and loving on my baby. You are doing the best you can with what you have been given so try to let go of the guilt; you are doing a great job!
post #42 of 249
Quote:
Originally Posted by here we are View Post

Hi . Tonight i am wondering if breastfeeding is always the answer when my sweet little babe cries. It seems to always be what soothes her, i dont think shes eating too much. Even if shes gassy & farty , she will be often be comforted by the breast, thou i worry a little about that because it is my milk going thru her that causes the poor gas. Do all babies have gas? It makes me think so much about feelings, because i am always wanting to soothe her crying yet at the same time i wonder if somehow she is learning from me not to cry, thou i think she's too little to worry about that &needs all the "spoiling"she can get.. This motherhood thing is so heartbreaking , with all the joy&tears.

What she is learning from you is that when she cries, you will always be there for her. 

Does anyone else love making faces at their newborn just to watch them try and mimic it?? I had no idea newborns were so fascinating. 

post #43 of 249
Here we are- your baby spent the last 40ish weeks having all her needs met instantly. You are all she knows. At this age, there are no "wants", only "needs". If she's nursing for comfort, it's because she needs it! If you feel that nursing her when she cries is the right thing to do, do it and without guilt or worry! Trust your mama instincts!!

As for us, Ruby is (thankfully) just like her father. Completely laid back. She just goes with the flow. I have no idea how long she sleeps at night because we cosleep and I barely wake up to latch her on. She has some awake time around 5-6 am. She doesn't cry, just wiggle and grunt. I don't mind though!
post #44 of 249
Thread Starter 
Is anyone else having latch issues at night? During the day Callie latches on on the first try with no issues but at night it's a 10 minute fight, popping on and off and whenever possible I nurse her ASAP. I nurse sitting up in a recliner. I tried side lying but we're just not there yet.
post #45 of 249
I am having latch issues all over the place. Barely on day 4, and I already have chapped sore nipples, and sadly my better boob which is the only one reliably providing milk is the sorest, though I alternate them equally. I tried reading stuff and watching videos online about how to get a better latch and I think I figured out my problems but not how to fix them.
post #46 of 249
Skycheatttaffic,
Lila had latch issues at any time of the day! We will go multiple nursing sessions successfully and them, suddenly, she is popping of and on, shaking her head, acting voracious, 'latching on' but then crying etc. what I've found online is that this fussy nursing could be from wanting a faster flow OR wanting a slower flow OR wanting NO flow but just your nipple to suck on. Easy, right?!?! I've found that switching positions or changing a diaper/ something non-breast feeding can usually 'reset' Lila so she can latch and nurse or latch and fall asleep.
post #47 of 249
Ooch the latch.
Cynthiamoon- if you think it's latch related could you find a la Lache league chapter near you? I had issues with all three in the beginning but was fortunate enough have access to the breast feeding answer book that LLL leaders use and it is full of solutions.
...And I think that no matter what they tell you there is just a period of breaking in that happens in the beginning of nursing. Any part of your body that gets that much serious activity all of the sudden will get sore for awhile. It will get better, for me it took a couple weeks of gritting my teeth and going topless whenever possible.

Actiasluna, thank goodness your baby is being fed. That must be such a relief. I second the give yourself grace comment from Tall, 'grace' was exactly the word that came to mind when I read your post. I think how you feel about your experience is again, an entirely appropriate response to an unexpected difficult event. There is no rule somewhere that states how you 'should' be feeling under these circumstances, everything you're processing is heartbreaking for any mama. My heart breaks for you. Give yourself
some extra grace from all of us here, what you are working through is HARD, above the regular adjusting to a new baby hard. Besides, if you don't do it now it will come back later, I have learned that grief will wait. Grief is a surprisingly patient creature.
You will not be heartbroken forever, it will get better every day if you give yourself space and grace and no judgement.

As for me my biggest struggle is integrating the needs of my big kids with the needs of the baby... While trying not to shush and push the big ones away as I create space for the baby.
Sheesh it's hard. Everyone seems to be falling apart, my 7yo is fragile and needy and my 5yo is just plain needy and sassy and the baby doesn't sleep unless he is on me.

I feel so bad that I'm cranky with the big kids, when their whole world is upside down now but they turn everything into a total circus that requires me to be this heavy duty stern mom.

Any advice from moms with a big ol age gap is welcome, I feel like I am floundering every day.

The baby is doing really well, nursing all the time, starting to coo when he's awake and spending more time looking and kicking instead of fussing.

Copious amounts of fennel and chamomile tea have helped a ton with gassy baby belly. He still is really fast but is able to pass it so much easier now. He toots away all night long, without a whimper. His new nickname is 'farts like a man'

Hope everyone is doing well!
post #48 of 249
I am going to reach out to local help for latch issues, but I do think a big part of it is mental for me. I think I am still adjusting to the whole being a mom thing. I am not used to being so in demand, and to being so self sacrificing as to just suck it up and take the pain of nursing through soreness. I still want to think there's an easier version and that easier is somehow better. But I want to get over that and fast.
post #49 of 249
Quote:
Originally Posted by cynthiamoon View Post

I am going to reach out to local help for latch issues, but I do think a big part of it is mental for me. I think I am still adjusting to the whole being a mom thing. I am not used to being so in demand, and to being so self sacrificing as to just suck it up and take the pain of nursing through soreness. I still want to think there's an easier version and that easier is somehow better. But I want to get over that and fast.

If it makes you feel any better it's been hard for me in the beginning of my last two babies even though I'm solidly used to being a mom. That surrender to full time on demand thing requires me to do some mental gymnastics so I don't go crazy. It's pretty normal to have some mental friction about it, especially if it hurts. Just keep telling yourself that it WILL get better, because it really will.
post #50 of 249

Well, day 1 went awesome, day 2 night was not so great. Around 7pm he decided he wanted to feed for 3-4 hours. Eventually Chris got him sleeping, and we got back into our every 2 hours feeding, then around 6am it happened again. After 3 hours of half hour nursing sessions, I was pretty much done. I had convinced myself that I wasn't producing any milk and he wasn't getting fed and was begging Chris to give him formula. Chris took him to his room, got me to call a friend of mine and just sat with him swaddled until he fell asleep completely. I took a shower and went back to bed. He's been asleep since around 9am, and is just starting to snarfle around. 

Cynthiamon, I totally feel you on the mental thing, it's so weird to have this little person suddenly demanding so much of my time and energy. I'm finding it hard too, because he was so safe inside me, and I could always feel him move, and now I can't. I think that's attributing to the non-sleeping. 

post #51 of 249

Oh man, I hear you rainbownurse and cynthia! My nipples actually hurt more today than they have since she was born. She's also nursed every hour for the last 6 (and only puked up once), so maybe we're turning a corner????

 

I actually get freaked out because (a) Iris is warm all the time, and (b) since we've sort of figured out her "I want to nurse" signals, she hardly cries. Also, the labored breathing at night really gets to me...(is she awake? Asleep?) and then when she starts breathing normally and I can't HEAR her, I really freak out.

post #52 of 249
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruheling View Post

Oh man, I hear you rainbownurse and cynthia! My nipples actually hurt more today than they have since she was born. She's also nursed every hour for the last 6 (and only puked up once), so maybe we're turning a corner????

 

I actually get freaked out because (a) Iris is warm all the time, and (b) since we've sort of figured out her "I want to nurse" signals, she hardly cries. Also, the labored breathing at night really gets to me...(is she awake? Asleep?) and then when she starts breathing normally and I can't HEAR her, I really freak out.

Bean is warm all the time too!! My midwife group posted an awesome infographic about nursing cues that I've been using, so he doesn't cry during the day to nurse, just at night.

and YES to the breathing, we are moving the bedroom around today so I can easily reach Bean to make sure he's breathing. 

post #53 of 249
Rainbownurse, that nursing constantly on day 2 is totally normal. Frustrating, yes, but your baby is just trying to get your milk to come in. Remember how small baby's stomach is at that point. It is so very hard those first couple weeks with sleep deprivation and sore nipples! Hang in there!

Wrenmoon, my dd1 is 5 so I totally get where you are coming from. I hear a lot of "I hate you!" And "this is the worst day ever!" And "rudey mommy!". That last one was her own lovely creation. I have found that the fuse is extra short and I have to try to be diligent about spending as much time connecting with her. I also realize that with so much chaos she needs way more structure from me and dh. There have been a lot of testing the boundaries and now that things are calming down we need to reestablish a family rhythm and it is hard! I just try to tell myself that we gotta do what we gotta do so things like more computer time so mom can get a nap are a temporary fix. I wish I had better answers! Can you call in the cavalry for playdates with friends?
post #54 of 249
Thread Starter 
OMG about the day 2 pp nursing!! I told people that she only did this once: from 6 am to 6 pm. In that time I literally put her down to use the bathroom, that's it!! My poor nips were ready to fall off and I ate my meals one handed with baby on the opposite boob. She didn't sleep at all that day. Then day 3 my milk started coming in and she started sleeping. That stretch from 24-36 hours postpartum though was incredible!! She did not stop once for more than a couple of minutes.
post #55 of 249
Oh god, yeah. My favorite moment was when my husband fed me dinner by the forkful while I was nursing. It was like a chain feeding frenzy.
post #56 of 249
Mason had a nursing marathon at 2 days and st 2 weeks. Ouch. I still have a hard time getting him to open his mouth wide, which results in me being in constant pain. My nipples even hurt when he is not eating. Also, my boobs hurt. Like, by my armpit, all of the sudden it will get really painful! Anyone has the same experience?

How do you get your baby to be effective nurser? Tomorrow mason is 3 weeks (OMG- can't believe it!) And I don't think he nurses well. Sometimes (about 3-4 times a day) I have to pump to empty my boob after he is done eating. And he will be hungry about an hour later again. I'm considering exclusively pumping. I am just in so much pain.

Gas- yes he has gas. Did you drink the tea or give it to baby? My mom brought me fennel tea, specially made for babies one week of age. His doctor said it would be fine to give him about 1 oz of water a day, but I'm thinking of making this tea for him to help with his gas....
post #57 of 249
Thread Starter 
InLove, if you can, please see a lactation consultant or attend a LLL meeting to get his latch checked out by experienced eyes/hands. Sometimes small adjustments make a big difference to how well baby can transfer milk. The LC can also weigh baby before and after a feed to see how much he's taking in. How is his diaper output and weight gain? Is he getting supplemented with pumped milk at all? Nursing every hour isn't that uncommon really at his age. That alone wouldn't worry me. My Callie has 3 big cluster feeds each day: morning, evening and overnight and then sleeps 2-4 hours. But during the clusters, she's only off the breast for 10-20 minutes or even less. Their instincts are guiding their nursing pattern so that they establish a very reliable and plentiful milk supply.
post #58 of 249
Yes I do give him the pumped milk. I also give him formula when I just can't stand the pain and I dont have anything expressed at the moment. The lactation consultant told me to use a nipple shield, but he clamps down on the tip of it and doesn't get any milk and just gets frustrated. So his doctor said to nurse without the nipple shield. The local la leche league doesn't meet until next monday, and I dont have any of their numbers...

With the pumped milk and formula, he was back at his birth weight last week. He does look chubbier to me too....
post #59 of 249
Speaking of feeding patterns, how do you ladies feel about waking a super sleepy baby? Julia slept for 5 hours this afternoon, and I decided to wake her. She ate for roughly an hour of sleepy sucking, then back to sleep. Can't decide if that was the right thing to do
post #60 of 249
I wake him every three hours during the day, but not at night.
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