I think Swede is getting to the bigger issue of whether we just generally reject or embrace the idea that a young infant can or "should" be included in the adult world of the parents. I do think it would be generally better if the cultural norm were for that to be the case. Sometimes when issues come up folks tend to look at it terms of the bigger picture. I mean, being asked to not nurse, for instance, can certainly be explained away as "one incident" but we do tend to want to look at that in a bigger context, yk?
In this case if we have a sub-culture around where VM went to school that takes a "what's the big deal" attitude to in-arms babies being excluded and we just kind of shrug off mothers missing adult events, we get into a pretty bad cycle, IMO. As it is we have a lot of mothers struggling with isolation, feeling like they have lost their adult selves, early weaning so mothers can have a life and etc. Isolated cases are not a big deal (probably no one is saying this is the end of the world for VM) but some choose to look at this as a collective and that's ok too.
Sometimes the divisive issue is more about on what level you're looking at something more than any real difference of opinion.