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Queer Conceptions: August 2013 - Page 6

post #101 of 279

fried - I bet some of the students must get a shock, esp if they're in the closet. I'd have a chuckle to myself if I saw anyone & they looked a bit freaked out!


fmorris - what a stereotype! I'm never going to have that problem!!!! fmorris good luck winning the war!


mama sounds like a good idea, anything to stay sane during the TWW. One of my physician friends is a lesbian & she has so many straight men crushing on her who are devastated when they find out they don't have a chance.


jenn that completely sucks that you both lost your jobs because of being gay (even indirectly). Do you guys work together? I met DW at work and we were the office gossip for a while until we admitted it & everyone had something else to talk about after 2 weeks.


sandie that's very cute that your DP's office threw a party & glad you're coping during this very LLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG  waiting time.


redrock what a good idea! 4 out of 7 is a very high percentage, wow. My big boss is gay but we've never discussed it. It's very hard ignoring symptoms, I know.


AFM 6 dp transfer today & my OHSS is kicking me in the butt. I am sooooo bloated, DW's grandad told me today I needed to lose weight, obviously didn't believe me when I told him it was a reaction to the meds!!! cheeky bugger. (he knows what's going on with us too). Other than the bloating only have the occasional cramp but nothing much. Have a couple of weird things like tender scalp and weird peeling of skin on my little fingers but that could easily be explained by the progesterone I'm still taking. I'm tempted to test a bit earlier as I know anything should so up but I'm resisting because I don't want to spoil my birthday & figure in a couple of days I'll be distracted enough and the longer I wait the more accurate any test will be & I won't be disappointed by a false negative. When I do test I will be 13 days past 5 day transfer so should DEFINITELY show a positive if there is one.


Hope everyone has a good week x

post #102 of 279

Whoa! I stopped getting an email update about this thread for some reason, so I thought it was just a quiet weekend. But now I'm behind! Let me try to catch up...


mamaetmaman: what an interesting career path! I'd love to hear more about the transition from teaching at the college level to high school; when I think about what I'd do if I didn't earn tenure, or just if I wanted to be geographically closer to my family, that would be one option...  Also, funny about the Seuss shirt. Oh, and I am still having one soda a day, even though I'll wean further if I get the BFP. I'm an addict!


justanotherjenny: I like Emmaline! How did it go with the U/S and bloodwork today? Grow, follicles! Also, unbelievable about your newspaper outing. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.


fmorris: that's funny! Esther also keeps talking about her baby brother and sister, and I like to imagine it's a sign, though I'm pretty sure it's ust that lots of kids in her class are getting siblings these days. Meanwhile, have you peed on anything yet? Inquiring minds want to know!


lizbian,  your last post sounded a bit exhausted. I hope you're taking good care of yourself in this second bit of the TWW. FX this is it for you! 


Fried, I advise our student GLBTA, so I totally laughed at your description of being out among the young queers. How are you feeling these days?



post #103 of 279

Oops, posted ahead of myself. Why am I so compulsive about personals? Can't help myself. 


Anyway, Sandie, I'm impressed by all your systems for distraction! My partner seems to be hanging in there with me, just wanting to know for sure one way or the other already! But we've been a little bickery, so I can tell we're both stressed by the waiting and unknown. We just do better we have a problem to attack together, so this part is tough. 


Redrock, I hear you about getting caught in work/career brain. When you figure out the secret to balancing it all, I want in on your secret! All of your symptoms sound super promising! What are your testing plans? 


AFM:  6dpo. I'm feeling some "symptoms": some nausea and smell sensitivity (everything smells like mold!), and some breast soreness. But this could just be how I feel when it's hot and I'm being hyper aware! The next few days can't go fast enough for me.


and QOTD: this is so interesting for us. I'm always out, both at work and in my personal life (although I do deal with some of the same classroom coming out stuff some of the other teachers mentioned, just about timing etc), and I'm involved on my campus with both student and faculty queer life, not to mention my own research, which deals with gender and sexuality. But DP isn't our as trans or queer in his work life (he's a lawyer), and in some of his friendships, and my being out in those contexts compromises his passing. So we're always navigating that. Like at our temple, we're out to the rabbi, but not most other members? And so far we're not out at DD's school, though we're switching schools in the fall and will be out to some folks there: we want to be sure she never feels like she has to lie about our family, and we certainly don't want people correcting her if she talks honestly about our family. So it's tricky, I'd prefer to be out everywhere, and DP would like for his trans experience to be a less constant part of his identity. We are always making adjustments. For what it's worth, DP passes 100% of the time, but is often read as a gay man. I think lots of people wonder if I know my husband is gay...

post #104 of 279
beastie- interesting symptoms! They sound like good signs. Making the transition from teaching and practicing medicine to teaching high school was not logistically difficult, but very emotionally challenging. I was teaching in a specialty program and loved it. In fact, it showed me how much I actually hated practicing. I started to get anxious and dread seeing patients and managing my staff and business. I was working 21 days straight and hating my life. I was also commuting an hour and a half each way once me and DW moved in together. It was clear what I needed to do. I knew I wanted to teach, and inquired into the possibility of becoming a full-time instructor, but the nature of the program was that all instructors practiced p/t and taught p/t. They had nothing for me.

I had a bunch of income saved up, and decided to give all of my patients to a friend/colleague (most docs sell patient files, but I wanted out and wanted to help a friend who was new and did not have an established practice). I stopped practicing but continued to pay all of my licensing fees and malpractice insurance for about another year (I wasn't ready to give it all up yet). I continued teaching at the university for that year, until the fees I was paying and the p/t income I was making was barely balancing out. Thank goodness for my savings! I was not making any money, but was happier than ever!

DW was a high school teacher at the time, and during the next year, I went back to school to get my education degree. Even in the really tough job climate for teachers here (87% are underemployed), I got a full-time permanent position right away. I've been teaching for a year now and am so much happier than I ever thought I could be. It was a huge adjustment, especially navigating my family and friends' disapproval of my choices, as well as dealing with people's reactions to my unconventional change of career, but I'm toughening up a bit. Big decisions aren't always easy, and sometimes come with sacrifice, but I am really happy with mine.
post #105 of 279

lizbian: Yes, we're working together again.  It's kind of funny most other couples we know couldn't even fathom working and living with their spouse, but it works just fine for us.  It's definitely less of an issue at this job.  At the last place we worked together, (where we met) I got married and then shortly later divorced from a man that I had dated for 5 years.  Meeting dp made me realize a whole flood of things that I never knew about myself, so in general, I think the story was just too juicy for them all to pass up. :-)  Sounds like your DW's grandfather is sassy!  :-)  Here's hoping that bloating sticks around, but for a different reason. ;-)


Beastie: Your symptoms are both promising and intriguing.  :-)  


mama: That's amazing that you changed careers like that. I can't imagine it!  I have a friend who was an attorney and decided after many years of practice that she hated it.  She quit to go to nursing school and just finished her nursing degree. Crazy driven women, you both are! I HATE school. HATE IT.  I cannot imagine ever going back.  (I love to learn, but I hate testing and classrooms, etc.)


afm: Thanks to everyone who was asking about my current status -- u/s and bloodwork today.  Estradiol (e2) dropped again today from 137 to 120, so they increased my gonal-f again.  Dose is now 225 and I had MANY follicles on the right side around 10mm. And a couple on the left also at 10mm.  They don't officially start measuring until 12mm, but progress is being made.  I really hope that I'm going to make it with the meds I currently have on hand. I had to order more. The discount is starting to not matter because it still adds up really fast!  LOL!  Though, if I had to pay full price, I'd be hyperventilating right now. Including tonight's shot, I have three days of medication.  I'm really hoping that it won't take much more to push those follies over the top. I go back again on Tuesday for more blood work and another u/s.  Lining is still thickening at 10.4mm. I think this may be my first lesson in parenthood. YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER ANYTHING. GET USED TO IT.  LOL!

post #106 of 279

this is just a quick one to lizbian: my dear friend (the bride in the upcoming hippie wedding) got pregnant once, verrrrry early on in her relationship with the groom (she decided not to keep it which was gutwrenching for her, but this is not my point...) and she tells me to look out for scalp pain and tingling as early indicators of pregnancy!!!


just sayin.... ;)

post #107 of 279
Beastie--Thanks for the support! I'm glad we get another chance, too, but also glad that we'll be meeting with our RE the day or so after the next insem, so if it's another BFN, at least I'll be able to jump right into the next thing. We are using the same donor. When we got pregnant with Edie we decided that it was worth it to us to buy up some vials for future siblings, so we have some in storage. Then when we decided that we were going to do some home insems I called to get an extra one and found out that there were only 4 vials left (there are some IVF vials, but no other ICI or IUIs) and that our donor had retired. We haven't finished deciding how many kids we want, and are in the place to afford the extras, so we just bought out the supply. It makes me feel better knowing that we can do these at home attempts without worrying that we'll short ourselves later, and I'm pretty sure that the other families who have used this donor will eventually want to buy more if it's available, so I think we'll get our money back for any that we don't use (the others mostly have only one kid, and are mostly younger than Edie, so I'm expecting that in a year or two people will be asking for vials. If we don't need them I'll be happy to sell them to other donor families who do).

Jenny--Ben Folds has a song called Emmaline. I think that name is funny, just because it's a mixture of my name and my sister's, so when I think of us being lumped together, that is what we would be called. Random. Anyway, you could also call her Lina, which I think is really cute. Or Mollie. My dad seemed really negative to me when we talked about having kids, but I think in retrospect that he was just worried that 1. we wouldn't get to do the things on our list (finish our house, have some fun vacations, etc) before getting pregnant and 2. that it wouldn't happen and we'd be sad. Once we got past the first trimester he brightened up considerably, and when the baby was born he was just in love. They might just not be willing to get emotionally in the place of thinking of themselves as grandparents until there's a grandbaby to look at. I hope that's the case, anyway!

Mama--that is really interesting, and also good to hear that it worked out so well--my DP is planning a career change at the end of the month (eep!) and I'm excited for her, but also a little scared. It's reassuring to hear that you are happier after the switch!

Anyone peed on anything lately? wink1.gif

AFM--CD5 here, so I started taking baby aspirin--it helped with my lining last time around, and I just didn't bother last month. This month I feel like I should be more proactive! Going to call the bank and put in an order for the tank to arrive on Friday.

QOTotherD--I'm totally out pretty much everywhere, but I don't 'look' gay, so no one can tell. smile.gif Usually if people assume I'm married to a man I'll just say, 'oh, wife' and then carry on answering whatever question like it's no big deal (since it isn't, usually). Once in a while I will be vague or not tell strangers, depending on my mood, but less so now that I know Edie's watching, and I don't want her to think she has to be secretive about her family.
post #108 of 279

beastie- those are positive signs, I've heard lots about things smelling like mould (or mold to you over there!). I think the trans thing adds a whole nother level of complicated to the 'outing' process, and I would imagine is perhaps not met as positively, although that may be a massive assumption! Great he can get away with it if he wants to though, it's nicer to have a choice about these things sometimes.


mama I hear you with the change of career. I had a similar thing when I left a well-paid finance job to go and become a full-time professional. The problem I'm going to have now is childcare. With my teaching having some periods busier than others (ie April/May I'm full-time but then July/August I have off) childcare is going to be pretty much impossible. You need to specify the days & times that you want for the whole year, and this can't change. You need to book in when you're 12 weeks pregnant just to get in or you'll miss out & not have any childcare at all so it looks like I'm going to have to go into a boring job just to get the childcare. We can't afford just to live on 1 wage and DW thinks it's unfair on her for me not to work and her work full-time.


jenn - it's so frustrating having no control over anything, least of all your body. I hear you & hope everything sorts itself out for this cycle.


sandie - I know! Also feel like I have a bit of a cold which is another symptom but trying not to read into it too much which is VERY hard!


isa - good luck for it, hoping the timing works, heard that about aspirin, although never tried it myself.


AFM OMG weekend was soooo babified! Had a wedding on Friday with a lot of young kids, then a Christening yesterday. Of my good friends, there was the baby being christened, 2 of my other friends have just announced they're pregnant due 2 days apart, a few other babies also there including my friend's 1 month old who needs open heart surgery in a few months. Phew!!!! I managed to keep our last attempt a secret so it really will be a surprise if it's a BFP. No too many symptoms other than really itchy head (weird) and a bit of a sore throat/runny nose. AF would normally be due on Wed (my birthday) so REALLY hoping she doesn't show or that would be a sucky birthday present!!!

post #109 of 279

Fmorris: Great news about the job, I hope it works out. Any testing yet? 


Liz: Those sounds like some really promising signs. You've got me feeling my head over here to see if it's tender, but it's not, just hot. Waiting should definitely show a positive. Good luck, I have a good feeling about it. I know what you mean about babified weekends. Where we live there are soooooo many babies, everywhere and pregnant women. It's like the land of babies. 


Beastie: We haven't for sure decided on testing plans. I'm super anxious so we were thinking we'd start with 9 DPO and then every or every other day after that. We've been gifted a few tests for free. Are you going to test? Test early? 


Jenny: Bummer about having to order more meds, I hope the u/s on Tuesday brings some good news and big follies. 


Isa: I appreciated reading about your decisions regarding extra vials. We've recently decided we most likely want to use the same donor for the next babe, but are waiting until we get pregnant to buy any extras. 


AFM: Trying to stay busy and distracted. My sister got into town today so we are going to visit my dad and step-mom tonight. Hopefully she'll keep me busy the rest of her visit smile.gif


QOTD: Have you already started buying things for the baby(ies) or will you wait until you get a BFP or reach a certain point in the pregnancy? Is this based on superstition, finances, space, something else? 

post #110 of 279
Thread Starter 

Liz, lol I know right, lucky you! So far DP and I are deciding to wait. SO FAR lol..not much more time to wait though! Sorry your feeling super bloated. Sounds good so far! I hope this is it for you Liz! AF is due wednesday for meeh as well and I don't plan on seeing her for meeh or you for a long time! good luck!


Beastie, Very weird about the kiddie premonitions lol. As far as peeing on anything..not at all. I've been rather abstinent from poas! I'm surprising myself, but even more surprised how quick its gone!  I feel you on the nausea, I've been having it on and off since around that time. 


Jenny, I'm hoping your follies grow just as much as you need when you go back. I'm keeping everything crossed. And boy do I know about not having control over things…I HATE IT lol!


Redrock, thanks! And no poas this way at all! Not even a dribble lol. I learn if I keep them out the house I'm not tempted, but I haven't been tempted so far so I think I'm gonna make it! Hope you stay busy and your wait moves quickly!


AFM, 13DPO how fun. I was having crampies again this morning and the girls are a bit tender. AF is due wednesday and I have no plans to see her. Mye TWW officially ends tomorrow and I can proudly say I've not peed on anything! Guess we'll wait till wednesday or thursday to test..but who knows lol. Overall, this whole at home KD diy thing was pretty good for us, and A LOT less stressful which I greatly appreciate. I'm hoping this is it!


QOTD. I already have mye cloth diapering starter kit, that I won from mothering, and that was the first and only baby item in the house at this point. I do subscribe to a couple of baby mags where I cut out anything that I think I might want for our bambino in the future or articles on things that might be helpful. As far as why, I'd say its more of a superstition thing for meeh. Green light will be our BFP.

post #111 of 279

fmorris, no idea how you've had the willpower not to test yet, but you have my respect and awe!


to everyone tww-ing, keep us informed of your testing plans.  lady and i just discussed using cheapies to identify if the hcg is still in her system, test until we get a negative, and then wait til the day before AF is due to test again....this means we'll first be able to test for real on monday (in a week).  that will be AFTER the wedding where i will be surrounded by friends' babies (as well as friends who don't know we insemmed, except for the bride and one other bridesmaid), and AFTER the 48 hour visit from my lifelong best friend who does know we insemmed and says sweet but not-always-helpful things like "i believe it will happen when it's meant to" and "i believe in the power of prayer."  she is more spiritual than religious, but since she's dealing with two atheists here, her comments tend not to help us.  especially since we know only too well how queer conception requires more than just prayers and waiting for what's meant to be--you also have to make things happen!  so, it will be a killer of a tww for us, especially at the end, and still, lady is handling it much better than i am.  


i just keep thinking of the insemination day, with the vial on the counter, and then seeing the swimmers on the ultrasound, and you know what, instead of prayer, maybe for me this is about a different kind of faith: faith in science, faith in those little swimmers.  they seemed so determined...and i know lady likes to visualize her ovaries less as passively waiting for sperm and more as actively preparing to receive their guests ;)  FX for a safe journey through the tubes and a nice, smooth implantation for all!


qotd: we bought a baby bjorn at a consignment shop for $15, a onesie that says "my moms voted for obama" and a sd padres onesie (that last one was $1).  usually im superstitious, but i am more in favor of the pleasure i find in being hopeful and getting excited, which i do through shopping, apparently ;)  we've stopped there, but we did some minor sprucing up of our "office" aka wouldbe nursery.  


i have another qotd: are those of you carrying/planning to carry also planning on breastfeeding, supplementing with formula, or bottles only?  are your partners planning to try inducing lactation?  if so, at what point?  do you like the idea of sharing breastfeeding/feedings in general or want just one of you to do it?  what are your thoughts or plans for pumping if you are returning to out-of-the-home work?

post #112 of 279

isa: I had no idea that Ben Folds had a song called Emmeline!  I'll have to check it out.  That's a very interesting perspective on how her parents may be feeling.  I'll try to think of it that way and give them the benefit of the doubt. :-)


liz: AF showing would be the worst birthday present ever!  She better stay away! for a good 9 months at least!


redrock: How many dpo are you?


fmorris: You're killing me.  :-)


sandie: I'm with you. It's amazing to think about how perfect the timing must be!  How are you able to see the swimmers on the u/s?  I didn't realize that could be visualized.  Do they use the u/s to place the catheter during IUI?



QOTD: This question is rather timely.  I spent a good part of the day moving all of the stuff I've accumulated over the last couple of years out of a family owned storage building. We're putting the building up for sale, so we had to begin the process of moving things out.  I have had cousins and friends offer great things up to me for free, so I've just been wrapping it all in garbage bags and storing it.  I got a great deal on cloth diapers (3 garbage bags full of all types) for 50.00.  It was such a good deal that i couldn't pass it up!  Anyway, if I decide to discontinue this baby project, I'm going to have a lot of stuff to give away.  I have various (non-expired) car seats, a Chico umbrella stroller, a graco stroller that also holds the snap on baby seat, a high chair, a swing, an exersaucer, a bouncy seat, a jumpy seat, a bumbo, a boppee, a wrap, a hot sling, an arms reach co-sleeper (I have sleep apnea and wear a machine at night, so can't co-sleep in my bed safely.).  Many of these gadgets I would have never purchased or registered for, but I figured they'd be good for splitting amongst the grandparent's houses etc.


quotd2: I cannot imagine my DP EVER breastfeeding.  She is SO modest, I just don't think she could do it.  On top of that, she has zero desire to give birth and experience that sort of thing in her parenting life, so inducing lactation isn't on the table over here.  (I would LOVE it if she would, but I won't even ask -- that's how certain I am of it.)  I do plan to breastfeed exclusively if I am able to make that work.  I'm hopeful that when I go back to work (around 3 months) that my breasts will respond well to a pump so that I can continue to provide breast milk exclusively, but I'm not attached at this juncture to every feeding being AT the breast.  It'd be great to be able to share feeding duties with expressed milk.  I would supplement with formula if medically necessary, but it is not my first choice and I feel strongly that most of the nutrition be provided via breast milk. (Ideally.)


afm: Feeling pretty exhausted with this cycle and kind of like a Wendy Whiner.  I think the cumulative effect of the drugs is making me a bit over emotional.  I'm easily frustrated/overwhelmed with situations/tasks that really aren't that big of a deal.  I'm feeling constantly on the verge of tears that just won't come, so I don't get relief.  Trying not to stress about the potential of having to order more meds while simultaneously trying to resolve myself to the likely inevitability.

post #113 of 279

redrock - yeah, babies babies everywhere!!! good luck staying busy x


fmorris I'm very proud of you for abstaining so well! We also don't have any in the house which makes it easier. we're 13 dpo today & 9 days past transfer.


sandie - I know what you mean about science. I've chatted to the doctors about it and it really is fantastic what they can do these days - gives us all the best chance of having kids, imagine if we'd been living 100 years ago - no chance of it other than the 'traditional' method *shudder*


jenn  - sorry to hear that. These meds really play havoc with your system, emotions, body, everything. I really really hope this is the one for you and that you get good news soon. FX and thoughts are with you.


QOTD the only baby things we have are a pair of little cow booties my sister got me for my 40th when she was visiting from Oz, and a t-shirt from Denmark that says Bad Viking on it - thought it would be funny to have something from where baby's made & not sure what we'll do if we have twins, they'll have to share! We're not getting anything else, party from superstition and partly because we're hoping to move house and de-clutter as it is. We won't really buy anything until the 12 week mark has passed.


QOTD 2 - yep I plan to breastfeed but of course will have to wait to see how it goes as these things don't always go to plan. Nope DW not planning on inducing lactation, I think she might think it was a bit weird, knowing her. (she gets a bit freaked out by those things)


AFM I was convinced AF was coming last night as I just had 'that feeling' in my tum but she hasn't & I'm hoping it was trapped wind or something else like maybe baby. eyesroll.gif DW kisses my distended belly and says hi to the maybes and I just hope hope hope this is it as I would be devastated to get AF not only on my 40th birthday but when I was with my parents so I would have to keep it a secret & pretend everything was fine & dandy when I was crying inside. We'll see, no point worrying about it now I'll just have to deal with it as an when. Other than a few crampy things I've got massively large boobaloobas (gone from an A to a C) and I think they're a bit darker.


Off to France tonight as tomorrow's the big 4-0 and I'm spending a couple of days with my parents. DW will be there, thankfully, as last year she wasn't when I saw them and it was a bit of a disaster. It means I'm having to forget everything TWW related which is probably good, and I don't think I'll have internet access until Friday so GOOD LUCK EVERYONE TESTING!!!! I hope to come back to some good news. xxx grouphug.gif

post #114 of 279
yay Liz!! Happy birthday tomorrow!- boobs from an A to a C!?! Dang that sounds like a great sign. Big hugs for you for the next few days. Hope to hear some good news when you're back!!!!

Holey moley is this the month of POAS resistance training or what?! You peeps have some willpower!

How's everyone in the Pineapple club doing?

prettyisa- what careers is your partner changing from and to?

fmorris- today must be 14DPO for you! So excited.... Keep up the positive thinking!!!

QOTD- DW is excited to try lactation induction. 4 titties for the babe seems like less pain for all! We would also like to donate breast milk to the bank.

AFM- 7DPIUI today. No exhaustion this time round. Boobs feel normal. Craving junk food though, which is typical for me in my luteal phase. DW and I have been busy with a major bathroom reno and painting our rec room. We are planning to move our office down there because the room that our office is currently in is actually a bedroom- a bedroom we plan on turning into a baby room... Eventually. We have a spare bedroom as well, but want to keep it as a spare because both of our families live quite a ways out of town.

QOTD yesterday- we inherited boxes of baby clothes from my brother in law, as well as an exersaucer and some other random things. We personally haven't bought any baby things. I keep wanting to, but DW seems nervous if we don't get pregnant, that I will be a mess surrounded by baby apparel.
post #115 of 279
redrock--I would say to definitely wait--the donor that worked was our fifth one! I'm glad we got to change until we found the right one!

Fmorris--that is some serious self-control! I'm going to follow your lead and not have any tests in the house this time. We'll see if I can make it, for once, without testing. (my guess is no).

Sandie--My favorite baby craft project to date is the onesie I made for election day that said, 'a vote for Obama's a vote for my mamas!' We kept it for her in the hopes that she'll think it's funny when she's grown up.

Jenny--has watching sappy movies helped at all? Don't beat yourself up--the whole process is so emotional, even without any extra drugs ramping it up!

Liz--how about you BRING BACK some good news, ok? smile.gif Have a fun trip, and happy birthday!

AFM--going to call in the order today to have things shipped by Friday. I don't think we'll use them til early next week, but I'd rather have everything in the house waiting for us so I don't freak out. Luckily (unluckily?) I have been paying more attention to all of my current 'pregnancy' symptoms, so I can tell myself in the TWW that I felt that way when I was definitely NOT preggo, and keep myself from getting too hopeful too soon.

QOTD1--we have all of DD's baby stuff--I haven't given anything away except the things that we really hated (for some reason those zippered sleepers drive me crazy!). For the next one I'll want to make a few things, and if it's a boy we'll need to get some more stuff, but lots of what we have is fairly neutral, so it's mostly just cute little boy-specific stuff that I'd want to top up a bit. That, and a new carseat--one of ours was handed down from our friends and will expire before the next kid is here to use it.

QOTD2--as long as things go well again, I'll be nursing any future kids. DP and I talked about it before DD was born, but we decided not to. I'm selfishly glad about that, because it meant that she did all of the getting up and changing the baby in the middle of the night stuff--I got to lie in bed and feed her and then go back to sleep.
post #116 of 279

Mamametmaman,  the story of your career shift is really inspirational. I love so many aspects of my job, but there are parts that are less than ideal, and times where I consider a switch but feel stuck because leaving would be so scary (especially since I'm our primary earner, and our insurance comes through my work. Plus the part about people's expectations and opinions, like you mentioned). But it's good to hear success stories!


Jenny, I love the drama of your work/life situation, though I'm sure it wasn't fun to live it. Glad things are so dreamy now. LOL about the lack of control, although your cycle does seem to be taking that particular test to the extreme! I'm sorry that bodily, financial, and emotional costs have been so high for you this cycle, and I hope it all results in some good news soon! In the meantime, be gentle with yourself.


Isa, thanks for sharing about your donors from your vial. That's been a big drama for us, and is why we went with an RE this time. We used our donor in our first pregnancy, and after that loss I was surprised by the emotional connection I felt with trying again with the same donor, so that eventual-Esther would be connected to the baby we lost. Plus, we got pregnant on the first try both times, so it seemed like that donor was compatible with my body! But DP was less attached to the donor, and so we held off on stocking up on vials even after E was born. But then our donor retired, and the bank didn't tell anyone! So then we and a few of the other donor sibling families were in a scramble to get the final vials, and to find more. In the end, we had ten vials total, with little chance of more (it did help get our donor sibling group up and running, since many of us were motivated to seek out extra vials: frustratingly, 9 vials are trapped in a hospital in Israel, and can't be released back to the US; there's also the possibility of attempting to reactivate the donor...). Anyway, I'd love to use this donor to conceive now AND have the option to try for another down the road. It's all a little overwhelming! But it sounds like you guys are in a pretty comfortable situation over there.


Lizbian,  have an amazing trip!  Your symptoms sound promising, and I;m keeping my fingers crossed and sending you implantation and sticky vibes. This could be a really awesome birthday present!  I'd love to hear more about your job switch and about what you and your DP decide about childcare (after15 months or so, our daycare calls the summer "camp," and you can opt out without losing your spot for the fall... maybe you'll find something along those lines?).


Redrock: I think I have the same testing plan as you: I have three hand-me-down early response tests, and then a bunch of handmedown cheapie strips. I'm going to use the early responses with FMU starting tomorrow. We have an appt with the RE to talk about next cycle on Thursday, and it would be exciting to know before then...Here we go!


FMorris, you are a champion! And you are making me crazy! Pee on something already! Just kidding. I hope whatever news you get in the next few days is good.


Sandie, how frustrating that you can't test until first getting negatives! What a roller coaster, especially with everything else you have going on. Another (Jewish) athiest here, and I also find that visualization is soothing and productive. But I'll take prayer if that's what folks have to offer!


QOTD1:  We have pretty much everything we need handed down from our toddler. E now sleeps in a big kid room, but she had a little nursery that was a tiny addition connected to our bedroom. That space is full of baby junk, and I'm superstitiously refusing to go in there or deal with it until we're pregnant. I did give away lots of small baby clothes and I've now destroyed 2 strollers, so eventually I'll be thrifting or seeking those. Oh, and our newborn prefold diapers are currently with a friend; including Esther, they've now served 5 babies in two years! So I'll ask for those back when the current tenant's outgrown them.


QOTD2: Funny, this is a similar answer to QOTD1: I'm still breastfeeding right now! DP wouldn't have wanted to induce, and couldn't anyway because of his chest surgery. But I was able to exclusively BF E to 6 months, to pump for daycare for more than a year, and am still going. We now nurse just at bedtime, and she doesn't seem ready to give it up. We'll see what happens with that! So my plan would be to do the same again. Although I have to say I'll be sad to bring out the pump at work again.

post #117 of 279

Fmorris: I'm glad this cycle has been so less stressful for and DP. That's one of the reasons we wanted to try at home first, at least a few tries. Doctors just stress me out and all the money. Let us know what if anything happens tomorrow 


Sandie: I can't believe you could see the swimmers on the u/s, how cool. I hope you all have a great time at the wedding. 


Jenny: 6 DPO here. Super jealous of your cloth diaper steal. DW and I feel very overwhelmed by all of the options. We are going to have my mom helps us make some. She's so excited to sew anything for our future baby. I'll have to keep my eyes peeled for used also. Sorry things have been hard for you this cycle, try to keep being compassionate with yourself. 


Liz: Have a great trip and a great b-day. Let us know who things go when you get back. I've got a super good feeling about it


Mama: What are your testing plans? I had my last pineapple today. Debating on whether to test on 9 or 10 DPO. That's great that your DW is going to try inducing lactation. I wanted my DW to give it a try but she doesn't want to.


Isa: I like the idea of paying attention to your "pregnancy" signs. If this cycle isn't a BFP I will remember to do that as well. 


Beastie: Here goes the testing indeed. I have a crazy desire to start testing early, but don't want to get discouraged with negatives. Good luck!


AFM: Has anyone had weird pinching feelings? I did yesterday and a little today. Otherwise not much else is going on over here. Probably testing Friday or Saturday, if we can make it that long. 


QOTD1: We recently bought a couple onesies for our "baby altar"-to keep us focused on the positive. My mom sent us a package of books, clothes and a couple of other little things while we were still in grad school (again she's really excited). We don't want to buy any big things until we are for sure pregnant, but I also like the idea of buying things slowly instead of all at once. Those big spending trips give me a little anxiety.


QOTD2: I wanted DW to try to induce lactation but she says she doesn't want to. She is kind of worried about her bond not being as strong with the baby so I thought it would be a good idea. She is not a fan of taking hormones and thinks it will be more work for us both to be pumping. So...I will be breastfeeding until I go back to work and then I'll pump and feed. 

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redrockband- I've had some weird pinching- but feels the same as when my cervix was irritated after the IUI. Had a tiny bit of cramping yesterday, but nothing today. Mad food cravings though. Yesterday was chocolate chip cookies, today I woke up and "needed" shrimp, so I went to Costco first thing and have consumed about 27 shrimp so far today. Weird.

For all those wondering about testing- google "Countdown to Pregnancy"- they have a statistical breakdown of POAS results of pregnant women by DPO. So if you do test early, it may calm your mind to know the % chance of false negatives.
post #119 of 279

Good information to have, redrock! I looked back and noted that I've never gotten a BFP earlier than 12DPO, so my plan to start testing at 8 may be an exercise in frustration! But I just can't help myself...


I'm for sure following Isa's system of keeping track of "symptoms" now, so that I have more information if there's a next cycle. It's hard to know what's normal when I'm so obsessed!

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as the non-bio mom, its long been my goal to breastfeed if we have a baby (or two!) but i know that inducing lactation can be a rollercoaster.  i was only ever on birth control from 16 to 17, and it was a nightmare then, so i can't imagine it being easier now.  still, i kind of think it's worth trying, especially since lady says she doesn't really want to breastfeed long term, but we both like the idea of breastmilk for our baby.  we've been talking about timing and stuff, but once we actually get pregnant (if we're not already??) we'll figure something out.

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