My MIL is Indian and there they practice what I consider a somewhat extreme form of attachment parenting. Add to that the fact that she is a grandma and it's been very difficult to deal with her unsupporting attitude towards me and my decisions. Here are some examples of things they do differently:
1. They spoonfeed the baby for as long as possible; this means they are shocked that my two-year-old son feeds himself about half of the time. They would spoonfeed their children well into late childhood and even adolescence.
2. They basically give in to whatever DS wants and never say no or set boundaries. For example, if my son asks for ice cream when I have just served him eggs, I will tell him "no" very clearly, but they will repeat it back to him and ask him if he wants ice cream a few times so that he can convince them that he should have ice cream.
3. They feel like he should never cry. My son rarely cries much, but today after trying everything to get him to fall asleep, I left him in his crib and he cried for 5-10 minutes before he went to sleep. I am pregnant and it will be impossible for me to put him to sleep like an infant for very much longer, so I am trying to gently and slowly get him to fall asleep alone and he has not really had a problem with it unless he gets way over tired. He was so exhausted that his nervous system had a hard time calming down; in this case I felt that crying was the only way to get over it and calm down.
My inlaws coslept with their children until they were teenagers and this also forced them to sleep away from each other, one with each child, throughout their children's childhoods. While my husband and I sleep separately now for similar reasons, we are planning to slowly sleep train our son into being able to sleep on his own, especially now that another baby is due.
Basically the issue I have with this form of parenting is that the children don't seem to learn any boundaries or independence at all. In an ideal world, I would like to be able to raise my son like this, but I think (and have seen) that it creates problems in relationships after childhood with people other than ones parents. My husband is still too attached to his parents in my opinion. In fact he is in their bed with them right now watching TV. This is absolutely normal in India! I do not want my son behaving like this, not because I wouldn't love to keep him as a baby forever and ever, but I don't think it's good for his development!
What do you think?