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When did your tandem nursing toddler start to eat again?

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 

My son will be 3 in November and my DD is 8 weeks old.  I've been tandem nursing, and DS has been nursing to the point where he doesn't eat food any more.  Now I anticipated a huge surge in nursing when the baby came....but I expected things to taper back to normal after the first six weeks or so....but if anything it's worse.

 

I feel like he isn't even recognizing hunger cues for what they are...it's weird.  I try to get him to eat food before nursing, but that just turns into a power struggle or him just taking a few bites of something just so that he can nurse.  Whenever I ask him if he is hungry he says no, but his mood will start to deteriorate until he nurses (probably because he is starving).  I don't know what to do - I can't keep up with this pace physically.  He's a big kid (above 38 inches tall and about 37 lbs), and is essentially 95% breast fed...the other 5% is basically me bribing him to eat (although he will willingly eat junk food, but I'm pretty sure that's just because it's "fun").  

 

Has anyone else had this problem?? When did it end??

post #2 of 5

A couple months past where you're at mine started to get more into food again.  But I would really love to hear a bunch of BTDT stories about this topic.  Like, were you thinking of CLW or did you begin to use some new weaning techniques?  Did you use the big one's age to tell them they didn't need to nurse as much.  I.e.- You're such a big kid now, you don't need to nurse so much, but the little one is so small they need to?  Were there new limits you set when tandem nursing past the newborn phase? 

 

All I can say is that in my experience the jealous feelings might come out later rather than right when the new sibling is born.  I thought the big one would taper off back to pre-birth nursing as well.  But...nope. Sometimes I think that jealousy is the obvious problem but I don't know the best way to handle that.  Is the best way nursing?  Limiting nursing but increasing other special moments?

 

I hear you, BabySmurf.  I can only assume this is totally normal.  But tiring.

post #3 of 5
I did it a bit differently, and limited nursing to 2-3 times a day (for my sanity... tried the unrestricted nirsing with dd1 and was going crazy, so this time I continued with the morning, nap, bed schedule we had when I was pregnant.)

Dd2 goes through being more interested in nursing and then more interested in food....
post #4 of 5
Hi there, I'm not tandem nursing yet so this might not be at all helpful, but when I can't get my busy 2.5 year old to settle down for meals I tell her a story starring of course, her, some of her favorite things (horses, mermaids, deer, ducks, rainbows, fish), somehow I get all of these creatures together for a birthday party and of course the only creature who knows the words to Happy Birthday is my daughter, so she gets to save the day every time. Sometimes the party is in a barn, under the sea, etc, you get the idea. She sits very still and is absolutely riveted. We pretend her food is comprised of party finger foods and birthday cake and that gets it down the hatch. When I am really not feeling creative I can entice her with some of her favorite books. I just read to her while she eats, and while it makes for a longer mealtime (not to mention, I don't get to take as many bites as I would like), it also does the trick. It is really cute when she reciprocates & tells stories starting me "Once upon a time there was a little girl named mommy and she ate dinner with me and went to the pool and the tire swing. The end." They usually go something like that.

This story method might help your DS feel like he has your undivided attention even though he's not nursing. Like us know if you find the solution. I am really worried this will happen to me when my milk comes back in.
post #5 of 5
Thread Starter 
Just realized that I never replied to this thread! Thanks for your thoughts, ladies! Part of the reason I felt so run down, we found out that we had lyme disease. Now that seems to be cleard up, I am feeling better and things have been going a lot smoother. DS still nurses all the time, but I am able to get him to eat by bringing him bites of food while he is playing. I think thag ultimately not only are we dealing with the "new baby" transition, but also some toddler milestones.
To answer some questions, before the baby came we took the more CLW approach, although I did have to set a few boundaries while pregnant, I didn't set many. So I'm sure that me trying to limit nursing at that point was an issue. I did find that if I could hang in there long enough for the morning nursing session to end when he was ready, that sets up his ability to be less needy during the day. It really means that I need to eat a ton at dinner time and sometimes a snack at night so that I have the reserves to do it, especially if he's had a rough night sleeping (or if dd does, but she is a lot easier to handle). But if I can do that in the morning, it asets us up much better for the day in all respects.
I'm still hoping that he slows down, but I'm not feeling so panicked about it any more!
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