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:: Weekly Chat Aug 5th to 12 ::

post #1 of 113
Thread Starter 
Here we go! I'm such a damn night owl alreast I'm making myself useful.

Had a great but emotional weekend. My DH is still sick and is going through some major sympathy pregnancy symptoms. I think it's kinda cute (it goes to show our soul mate status for sure!) but is also annoying because... I'm really actually going through this crap! Told him I was crying earlier because I am so so tired of getting up in pain, making breakfast, doing dishes etc. etc. he took it wrong and thought I was calling him lazy. So I took off and ate breakfast at a restaurant by myself. I felt worse afterward-- I like going to eat with my little family. I'm lonely all week without DH darn it. I'm a mess! He could see my pain and came to sit next to me with hugs and kisses. It was so nice. I really needed that!

Got my homebirth supplies ordered, refresher birth course set up, DDs room is a ROOM with a glider, new twin mattress, painted pink ikea dresser and her clothes are even in it! O. M. G. that only took 1.5 YEARS to accomplish. Ha!

I also got receiving blankets and other random things almost all sewn (though I'm really loving my Brother machine and crafting is taking my mind off everything) so not sure how long it'll be till I can say done.

Two questions. What are you ladies doing for baby books? Any fun ideas? The standard baby book will work fine but I thought I could do something different there?

Next we are thinking about taking a babymoon for the weekend, but don't want to exclude DD. I of course have to avoid a lot of walking and spa treatments would be for me only. Poor DHs psoriasis makes those hard and really, we can't afford it or get a babysitter. So I was thinking of staying in a posh hotel with an AWESOME bath tub and ordering room service. Maybe even rent movies. Then the next day, go do a family activity without too much walking or being in the sun.

Last time we stayed in an awesome swanky hotel and went to eat a 5-course meal (wine pairing and everything-- I just sipped DHs selections!) at London-- Gordon Ramses restaurant. Yes, the lobster risotto is WORTH the $20. wink1.gif

Can't do that with DD lol... So what do y'all think?
Edited by tillymonster - 8/5/13 at 12:36am
post #2 of 113
tilly, your babymoon plans sound super relaxing - I could go for something like that some time soon!

Um, baby books as in: books FOR the baby? Or books ABOUT the baby? (new mom here guessing you're talking about the former.) I got two books for my shower yesterday, some plasticky book for learning shapes and colors, and another book titled "Go the F..k to sleep", which looks like a fun book. On my registry, I have the bilingual (English / German) edition of The very hungry caterpillar. I remember really loving it when I was kindergarten age. That said, I don't know any good baby age books and am looking forward to everyone's comments on this one!

I just did the scary thing and declared maternity leave. I sent an email to the executive director instead of my impossible manager and informed her I've decided to start my leave now because of physical discomfort and increasing stress at my job. I also mentioned that I'm turning to her instead of my manager because my attempts at communicating with him have basically failed, without going into any further details. The point is that I'm now on maternity leave. It feels incredibly freeing and scary at the same time. Somehow I'm expecting all hell to break loose tomorrow morning, but maybe not? Wish me luck either way ladies.
post #3 of 113
Can I ask a silly question, but what's a receiving blanket? I hear this all the time but don't know what it is. Is it just the normal blankets you put in the cot/pram?
post #4 of 113
Originally Posted by serena76 View Post

Can I ask a silly question, but what's a receiving blanket? I hear this all the time but don't know what it is. Is it just the normal blankets you put in the cot/pram?

They are blankets, usually about 18 inches or so big. They are light weight blankets you can use to swaddle or wrap baby in. Store bought ones, aside from aden & anais brand or other brands that I am unaware of, are so small they usually only last a month or so in the "useful department". People are fond of buying them and giving them as shower gifts. They are usually the type of blanket your nurse will wrap baby up and hand off to you as you "receive" baby to hold. You can put them in a cot/pram to add another layer of warmth when out and about. You can save them for when the kids get older and play with their dolls.


I gave all but four away that my daughter had and she plays with them now. I bought aden & anais brand ones this time because they are HUUUUUUGE and have more uses then the normal receiving blankets. 

post #5 of 113

Two questions. What are you ladies doing for baby books? Any fun ideas? The standard baby book will work fine but I thought I could do something different there?



I just buy journals and journal in them from 20 weeks pregnant, until they are 18 years old. That's my plan at least. I tape photos and stuff in them. For my DD all her bigger baby mementos I am going to put in her placenta container after we finally do something with her placenta. I plan on giving it to her when she is either 16, 18, or has her first child. Probably the latter. 


Because we (hopefully) won't be going to hospital this time and are doing a lotus birth we won't have a placenta container for the baby's placenta. I do have a velvet placenta bag but I don't think it will hold mementos well. I may just buy a little plastic tote and use that. 


So I guess I don't really have baby books. Just journals and plastic totes. 

post #6 of 113
Ok thanks mama ana smile.gif
post #7 of 113

tillymonster -  Congrats on gettings DD's room set up!  I share your dragging of feet and I salute you for completing it!!  As far as baby books, we had ordered this one, but then had to trash it because we had that late-in-the-game name change and I had already been writing everything in pen.  I felt like a dork for just scratching it out and it was so inexpensive, that we figured we'd buy another one.  But hah hah, now it's out of stock, so we're back to square one.  Issues I normally have with baby books are it including pages that will NEVER be filled (no baby shower for #3, so I want it to not include those pages) or it dragging on an obscenely long time (some of these go to 5 years?  That's a recipe for insuring that I won't complete it or I'll be fudging dates on milestones!).  If I was a mom that was totally on it, then I would simply do a 20 page 12X12 scrapbook for each child, thereby customizing it for each kid (not putting hospital information for 2/3 of my kids, no awkward blank pages on baby shower stuff, able to customize paper background to the style/personality of each child.  I still think I might eventually do that, just pirating date milestones from the other books and printing new digital photos.  Maybe this is what I'll do when the kids are all working on homeschool projects in like, what, 7 years?!  ROTFLMAO.gif


vc2013 - I am sorry things never really went right with your manager, but congrats on being on mat-leave now!  Hopefully some time away from that dork you're working with will calm him the heck down, because he sounded ridiculous!  I wish you luck regardless, but I hope you're able to forget that jerk for a bit and focus on "you time"!


Wall of text ALERT!  I got a bug to do something about our co-sleeping situation last night, so we inaugurated a new setup.  Previously we had two foam mattresses on the floor - a full next to a queen.  However, two problems existed with that setup:


  1. the full-sized queen mattress (despite being labeled firm) is in fact quite soft, to the point that if an adult sleeps in it (usually DH) it turns into soggy bread with the adult essentially sleeping on the floor in a mattress-taco
  2. in order to keep the baby on the edge of a bed and adult out of the full-sized mattress, it would require both DDs to sleep next to Daddy, something they have yet to find palatable (especially DD2 who still nurses to sleep).  Neither girl is ready to transition to their own bed in the next room, something we don't feel the need to press the issue. (Long term plan is to move the girls at the same time to the new room, but with DD2 still being really tactile in sleep, we're not optimistic about it currently.)


We bought our previous mattresses off of Overstock.com and while we can kind of afford to buy a new full foam mattress from there, we're so gun-shy of the soggy mattress incident occurring again, that we're afraid to buy online unless we can guarantee a certain degree of firmness. I don't even know if local mattress places sell cheapy foam mattresses for us to try out, or if they're all in the $700+ range.  We've looked at the Ikea Finnvik mattress, but it's like, right at the upper range of what we can afford (at $329) and it's 3 inches shorter (not as tall) than our current mattress.  So the solution last night was to put the full-sized soggy mattress away, possibly permanently, and to put DDs' twin mattress for them to share next to the queen.  It worked mostly okay - a little of jostling for position at first, but they eventually settled down.  Even though the baby is technically going to be "next" to DD2, there is a 7 inch height difference between the two mattresses.  Feeling DD2 climb onto our mattress definitely wakes me up, so I don't think it'd be an issue.  The only other downside to this current setup is that with DH and I sharing a mattress again, we are HOT, literally.  We both tend to run hot and the combination of foam + two hot adults is making us toss and turn a bit more.  We're willing to accept this downside if this is truly the best situation, but we're still pondering...


Another solution we've considered is putting the girls on the full-size mattress but a bedrail in-between the grownup and DDs' bed.  However, I think the "fence" between the girls and the baby seems a bit draconian for the time being, so I have mixed feelings about that. I am sharing this to offer my situation up for some armchair examination and to see if anyone has any ideas that I haven't overanalyzed to death yet!

post #8 of 113
Oh, Serena -- the other thing about receiving blankets is that once they are no longer useful for covering the kid, they still make good burp cloths. Just chuck one over your shoulder and go to town.
post #9 of 113

hahaha i love how i don't even get what a "baby book" is. 


thanks aidenn! i just got a first quick reply and it sounds like it's ALL GOOD. well wishes instead of - what *i* expected - attempts to hunt me down and force me to come back or fire me or something. INCREDIBLY RELIEVED NOW.

post #10 of 113

I've decided in order to achieve my goals of co-sleeping, I will leave it up to DF to purchase/assemble/install any sort of crib sidecar to our bed.  My solution will be to push the bed next to the wall and be the barrier between her and daddy, and leave it at that, and if he wants her out of our bed, he can be in charge of the logistics.


In other news, I'm debating homebirth vs hospital birth and I don't like either option.  In case you are curious, I just wrote a small blog post about it (4 paragraphs), if you want to skim through and then pop back here and tell me what you would do in my shoes regarding the birth plan: http://relentlessmommy.com/2013/08/05/once-you-birth-at-home-you-never-roam/

post #11 of 113
Serafina, having read your blog post I think if I were you I'd go with the hospital--for all the reasons you mention, and especially since you'll have your doula.
post #12 of 113

beep, thanks for your input!   I have to think whether the the desire to be frugal and sensible, fiscally, or the desire to have a truly perfect birth experience is stronger.  
At least the local university hospital does have decent stats.  In 2012, less than half of women received an epidural, and just over half of women received pitocin (rates for any other type of intervention was very low, those were the only two that had a significant percentage).  I was thinking the rates would be much higher, so I guess I have no reason to fear that they would push any sort of birth experience other than what I'd have at home, if I do go there.

post #13 of 113

serafina - since your labors tend to be fast, hospital birth doesn't sound that bad, specially if you can arrive there as late as possible.

post #14 of 113

actually, I'd be worried to give birth in the car, so I'd want to go at the first sign of labor to be sure to make it on time (almost didn't with my first birth, and I lived only 5 minutes away then!).  It's more great to me that they let you leave right after and go home, so I can get out of there and get comfy at home for post partum recovery asap.  But yeah, I am leaning that way, just to be frugal.

post #15 of 113
Serafina-I would go to the hospital in your situation. That being said, do you have a healthcare provider lined up for the hospital? I ask because if you simply show up in labor without a record of this pregnancy or an established relationship with an OB or MW who attends births at the hospital, you may not have as easy of a time leaving shortly after the birth, if that is your preference.
post #16 of 113
I actually chose the hospital over the birth center for the opposite reason. I went to the birth center originally intending on having a home birth, but found out with my insurance I cannot, and if I do have a home birth my insurance will drop me and the baby completely.

I could have gone to the birth center, but because of my 4 older kids and the logistics involved with getting back and forth and having them occupied for the birth within a relatively small span of hours, it was incredibly overwhelming to me and I decided to go to the hospital where there is a separate waiting room and means to keep whichever kids are there occupied, and also the time and space to recover before going home-since the individuals who will be helping care for the older kids are very much of the mindset that if I'm at home I don't need help with the kids. Whereas if I'm in the hospital for a couple days then I obviously need help.
post #17 of 113



Agree...hospital probably seems like the best bet for your situation. But, as freckledmama points out, do you have a record of your prenatal care?  Not sure where you are living, but in some areas in the US, if you present in labor without a hospital-based provider's record of prenatal care, you're flagged as "no prenatal care," even if you have records of thorough prenatal care from a home birth midwifery practice.  If you're flagged as not having had prenatal care, you're usually subjected to loads of suspicion regarding your health, care of your kids, drug use/abuse, etc. and physicians and nurses are less likely to flex with you, including plans for early discharge.  Sad but true, but maybe it's not like that where you live. 

post #18 of 113

freckledmama-  That's not a concern in this country.  You get whatever midwife/midwives that are there at the time.   No one in this country is supposed to line anything up ahead of time (i.e. your prenatal health care provider (and, occasionally, doctor) that you see during pregnancy is totally separate from birthing midwives who function at the hospital maternity ward during normal deliveries.  Of course there are doctors, surgeons, and all the rest of it for those who opt for or need knives, needles, and drugs, but for a natural vaginal delivery, it's just a midwife overseeing, and will leave you alone most of the time if you prefer to be with your partner/doula without much interference.  Even in the delivery room it's just midwives if everything goes fine.  So, I'm not 'behind' on making arrangements or being 'enrolled' or anything like that, any woman in labor in this country can show up at any hospital and receive exactly the same service as anyone else, and it's always free.

post #19 of 113
Originally Posted by haurelia View Post
   Sad but true, but maybe it's not like that where you live. 

Oh yeah, not like that at all in this country.  Health services here are stellar, and I've been following all the normal routes during this pregnancy visiting my local antenatal clinic on schedule all pregnancy, even going to the university hospital that I am considering birthing at, several times for high risk (for preterm labor) cervical checks, so I am very much in their system and all my details.  NO ONE homebirths in this country so the fact that I was most likely planning to have one was something I had mentioned to my local dr and nurse, the hospital drs I've been seeing, and they have been impressed and supportive of the concept, but it's such an oddity they didn't have much to comment on.  If I change plans and show up at the hospital in labor, there is absolutely no problem with that for any reason.

My older kids would be watched by their father if needed, no issues there (their dad's house is on the way to the hospital, only adding 1-2 minutes to the journey to drop them off on the way).

post #20 of 113
Originally Posted by thefreckledmama View Post
  the individuals who will be helping care for the older kids are very much of the mindset that if I'm at home I don't need help with the kids. Whereas if I'm in the hospital for a couple days then I obviously need help.

Sheesh, those people obviously have no concept of (memory has faded perhaps) of what a woman is capable of immediately post partum!  So sorry to hear about such an icky attitude.

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