I totally feel the same way. I live in a really rural area and work so it is impossible to meet with other moms. I do try to make a big effort to do any evening or weekend La Leche League or similar meetings so that I can meet some like minded moms. I am pretty sure all of the other daycare parents think I am crazy because we send homemade food and I nurse my son at lunch. The only good thing is that a couple of people have asked me about some of our homemade food, breastfeeding or cloth diapers so I have had a chance to show them a little. Good job sticking to what you believe even when it is hard!
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Anyone feel excluded from other AP groups as a working mom? - Page 2post #21 of 2510/21/13 at 6:22ampost #22 of 2510/23/13 at 9:35pmpost #23 of 251/12/14 at 2:58pmpost #24 of 251/12/14 at 4:27pmI was a SAHM until my kids were 18 months old and 3 years old, when we divorced and I was forced to work for a living. I also felt that although I had online support, it was definatly hard to find "real life" AP support.
Even though I'm the sole provider in my family, I still occasionally meet SAHM's who have made comments that still imply working is somehow a "choice". I've heard, "that's why we stayed together" and "I know so-and-so who homeschooled even though she was a single mom", "we've made a lot of sacrifices to make this work" (as if I'm not sacrificing anything), etc. I feel like I'm not measuring up.
Some people really seem to believe you can do anything you put your mind to, so if I was just determined enough, I could find a way. I haven't met many people like that, but on the occasion that it does happen, its hurtful.
It doesn't help that my job is a nurse, which makes me appear very "mainstream" since I work with allopathic medical practices. I haven't had a problem fitting into the homebirthing community, since I'm very supportive of it. But some people are still turned off to anything I say because I don't work in a specialty that encourages homeopathic/natural medicine. Its like I'm not "hippie" enough.
Yet at work I'm seen as the other way around. I start talking about midwifery or making informed vaccine choices and people say "oh, you're one of *those* people!" But I don't feel like one of "those" people since "those" people often don't accept me!
I think us AP working moms are a class of our own.post #25 of 251/20/14 at 6:57pmQuote:Originally Posted by JudiAU
Yep, I often feel the same way.
I've been laid off and so I am looking for a new job for our nanny. Our nanny can feed a baby who loathes bottles, nanny wears, can extoll the virtues of cloth diapering, happily had our daughter rear face until four, and can prepare purees or BLW, bounced our todder in a sling to sleep until after 2, was totally okay with our homebirth, and will harrass the stockboy to get the grass fed milk from the storage freezer. When I tried to post an recommendation saying she was available to our local AP group list (which allows all sorts of commercial ads) it was rejected because "the moms wouldn't be interested." I was LIVID.
Because, they aren't like me.
And then two days later I gave some milk away from my bm stash to this other woman (all her facebook pages where LLL this and AP this and hippie dippy whatever, you know, like me). She works part time and is done with her stash. And she said to me, on seeing like 1,000 oz in my freezer that "she didn't have time" to build a stash while she was on leave for four months.Yeah, because that milk just magically flew into the freezer by fairies while I played with newborn and two older kids. Giving milk away is HARD and because I knew I would totally get into a position of wanting to know/maybe judge how someone got there I decided I would only ever do first come, first served.
Where are you located? I need someone like your nanny!!!
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