I am curious, Michelle, why you haven't seeked out a midwife before? Seems like building a relationship with midwives would be great for you. I guess we're blessed here with a community of awesome supportive attentive midwives, so that's my bias. I have seen and heard so many times of doctors "changing" their attitude or position on things once you are in labor, so I understand how you'd have a hard time trusting your doctor. I'm so sorry you are dealing with past trauma...have you thought of rebirthing or birth counseling? There are people here who do that, not sure how common a practice that is.
My DH wanted me to use a midwife for our first birth, and I have always wished I had listened. After having a c-section with the first, DH wasn't comfortable with a homebirth, and none of the birthing centers around here would accept VBACs. After the horrible experience with our second, I actually hired a midwife, and went to one appointment, but I was at a point where it was too late. I couldn't trust anyone. It didn't matter to me that she was a midwife; I couldn't trust that she wouldn't hurt me, too.
When I finally felt ready to trust someone again, I interviewed both midwives and doctors. The person who succeeded in helping me feel comfortable happened to be a doctor.