I don't remember it being this hard with my first child. I don't remember being this exhausted. Maybe its because I can't nap with him during the day because I have another child to take care of.
He won't go back to sleep when I nurse him.
He won't go back to sleep when I lay him on me. He cries nonstop. I feel so frustrated with him sometimes I want to just walk out of the room and let him cry-- but I know I don't want to do that. Why do I get so angry at a 3 month old?
I always try to keep in mind in most things in parenting, it is only a phase and it will pass. But it's hard to see when you're in the thick of it. I knew the bliss of newborn sleep would pass. But I guess I feel like I'm not ready yet. It might be laziness, or maybe not. But I don't feel able to work through this phase in a loving self sacrificial way. It's only been a week but I feel like I'm at my patience' end.
I don't know exactly what I'm looking for here. I just know that this has always been a place I can come and find non judgmental support for what I am going through, a place when I won't be told its my fault because I sleep in the same bed with children or because I nurse them whenever they want. I like those things about myself and my parenting, but in times like these its all to easy to listen to the voice that the majority of our culture.