My husband of almost 3 years has quit drinking as of a month and a half ago (even though I suspect he is sneaking it). Since he quit he has threatened to leave me at least 5 times in that time span. He got laid off (by choice) and we are staying with family rent free while he looks for a new job. Within 2 weeks he has said things like "he will just move to *insert state here* without me". Sometimes he says he will take our son and he has joked he would get custody of him if we separated. Just earlier he told my son who is 3 (or me indirectly) "Mommy is going to end up single just like her mom". All because I told him to relax because he was being so impatient with our son. He says he doesn't mean these things but just says them as jokes or because he is mad but it is really getting old and friends and family are saying this is a form of abuse. Help!
- topicPersonal Growthtagged by Athora80, 8/7/13
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Husband keeps threatening to leave mepost #1 of 78/6/13 at 5:07pmThread Starterpost #2 of 78/6/13 at 5:24pm
Oh heck yeah that's a form of abuse. Those "jokes" aren't funny; they are meant to mess with your mind.
Whose family are you staying with, yours or his? If it's his family, you might want to start making contingency plans for what you would do if he left. I wouldn't leave your son alone with him either.
Al-Anon is a good resource for family members of problem drinkers and I would check them out too.post #3 of 78/6/13 at 5:35pmThat is not cool. Even in fights there needs to be rules, and he's hitting you below the belt. Imagine if you were at a job and every day the boss told you he wanted to fire you. That's called a hostile environment for a reason.
I would definitely call that abuse. I agree that Al-Anon may be a great place to get some support.post #4 of 78/15/13 at 4:47ampost #5 of 78/15/13 at 2:42pm
I agree with the other posters, the threats are not okay.
Do you have a strategy for what you would do if he did leave, or if you decide you need to leave him? I think it's healthy for every partnered parent to have some sort of plan for what they would do if they were suddenly single, no matter how unlikely it is to happen.post #6 of 78/15/13 at 2:55pmpost #7 of 78/15/13 at 5:27pm
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