I couldn't have said this better. To make a stand over a school uniform but restrict them to age based curriculum that is inappropriate to the individual... that is the conformity that causes the real detriment. Not to mention, we force them to conform to other things too... by enforcing the Pledge, by not offering vegetarian lunch options, by dictating when they can go to the bathroom, by limiting school libraries, by giving teenagers developmentally inappropriate school hours, by filling their after school hours with ridiculous amounts of busy work... those are bigger deals to me than clothing.
Except for homework load (at the middle/high school level,) none of those are a big issue here. It may be partially due to it being a university town next to another university town, and our schools are very internationally diverse.