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Mothering › Groups › October 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Bed/Sleeping situation

Bed/Sleeping situation

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 

What is going to be your sleeping situation with baby? Are you co-sleeping? nursery with a crib? what are you all doing?

 

We have a co-sleeper and plan on using that until she's too big, then moving her to a crib in our room. I always thought I'd co-sleep with her actually in the bed with us, but we have a queen bed and my husband sleeps like an angry bear waking up a zillion times a night and I like to spread out... so I just don't see there being any room for baby.

 

I'm trying to convince my husband that we should get a king sized bed, it's hard enough just the two of us sharing a bed with my being pregnant and needing a pillow nest around me and tossing and turning and not being able to stand being touched- his sweaty butt is ALWAYS on mine and it drives me insane!!!!!!! he likes it though... but he's not the one being rubbed up on by a sweaty body. Do you have a king bed or a queen bed or what?? I really think a king bed will be a life changer for us... especially because my husband works and has to get up at 6am - it will be better to have a firmer nicer mattress with more space. Right now we have a generic memory foam one and it's really soft and IMO not safe for a baby because of that and the off-gassing- it still has the chemical smell a year later. I'd love to get an organic cotton/latex one but they're really expensive- but sleep is SO important and affects your whole quality of life- so I think it would be worth it, right?

 

and then later on when baby is like a year and up... a crib in the other room makes more sense to me because I do NOT want to be night-nursing past a year old.... I'll nurse her at night before sleep but I have friends with babies who have had the hardest time night weaning even at 2-3 years old their babies are pawing at them in the night to nurse- I know that would drive me crazy!!

post #2 of 15

We'll probably do mostly the same thing we did last time.

 

We have a queen sized bed and I sidecarred DS's crib to it so we would theoretically still have our whole bed but I wouldn't have to actually get up in the night to nurse...  in reality, DS was still in our bed alot until I figured out how to nurse either breast without actually turning over and moving him.  Since I've got that trick down pat I think the side car set up will work better this time around.  I agree that a king sized bed would be the bomb but if you can successfully sidecar then a queen can cut it.

 

I night weaned at 12 months and we left the sidecar for a long time after that. Longer than I will this time. DS was/is a flailing sleeper and it wasn't until we set up a full size mattress for him that we all started sleeping better. As a toddler he would just move all over the place and wake himself up hitting the sides of the crib. Then he would climb into our bed and hit/kick us in the face for the rest of the night. The full sized futon was like magic.  This baby is going to be in one of his/her own as soon as I night wean.

 

I have met plenty of folks with toddlers who sleep happily in a crib/toddler bed for years. Mine just didn't.

post #3 of 15

We haven't settled on a sleeping arrangement yet. Basically our room is an attic room and I don't feel it has good air ventilation. Its very cold in winter and super hot in summer (though we have a window AC unit in the tiny window which does the trick at night).

 

The baby will eventually share a room with our 5 yo DD. My current thought is that when baby is very small DH and I will stay in DD's room with the baby and DD can sleep in DS's room (he has bunk beds). DD's bed is only a full size bed, so we'll likely go with a cosleeper. After a few months when the super cold weather has passed we may take the baby up to our room, or just keep her in DD's room and let DD move back into her bed. I guess we'll just play it by ear and figure out what works best at the time.

 

My mom keeps telling me this isn't a good idea as DD will feel we are kicking her out of her room... but I just seriously doubt it. DD is SOOOO easy going about everything. I just don't think she'll mind at all. But I guess we also have to see how she takes this idea.

post #4 of 15

We used a co-sleeper with both our kids ( a mini-sized because our house was small and our kids are little for a long time).  DD was in our room until about 4 months, at which point we were waking her up in the mornings, so after I nursed her around 11 or so, I would put her in the crib in her room.  (Not that she was sleeping through the night- we night-nursed oh probably until at least a year, ha!).  DS was in our room until closer to 6 months, at which point he was climbing out of the co-sleeper, oops!  He moved to the crib and again, I continued trips into his room until closer to 2 (not always nursing but it took him a long time not to get up at night).  

 

We have a queen bed and we tried co-sleeping with DD in it . . . after 3 nights of not sleeping because I was TOO aware of her, the co-sleeper was our lifesaver.  I love having my kids RIGHT with me all night- often I would sleep with an arm draped over their back (yes, my kids are tummy sleepers!) and I loved that in those early days I could just sit up, nurse, change and then go back to sleep without moving out of my bed!  But it just didn't work for us to have baby IN bed.  And then we loved our crib later, too!  Just worked well for our kids.

post #5 of 15

We are sidecaring the crib to our bed. I think co-sleepers are an easy solution, but since I plan to co-sleep past the time it would be outgrown, I just want to use the crib from the start. Plus, space is limited and I'm trying to cut down on baby stuff.

 

I have a full size bed, but I don't think I would feel more comfortable bedsharing in a queen size either, so I understand. Best of luck convincing your husband you need a king size :)

post #6 of 15
Thread Starter 

For mommas who have used co-sleepers- at what age did your babies get too big for them?? I got mine from a friend (it's a mini, so quite smaller than the full-sized one) and she said her son grew out of it at THREE months!!! she has a big baby boy though... and I have a feeling if my baby girl is anything like my sister and I were, she will be small for quite awhile.

 

My husband bought us a king sized bed and bed frame and everything today. i couldn't believe it, he was just stressing over finances yesterday, but I guess getting a good nights sleep is a good enough reason !! he got a REALLY amazing deal on the whole thing and it's coming on Tuesday!! The old bed is for sale on craigslist.... hope it sells! So now we have the option of co-sleeper, baby in bed with us, and eventually a crib!! The crib is in the family I nanny for's garage ... they said I can have it whenever I'm ready for it- so stoked on that because it's a super nice sleigh-bed style crib with an organic mattress and I think my husband could probably figure out a crafty way to convert it into a toddler bed after too :)

 

also: HOW do you breastfeed on your side in bed? Do you feed the baby with the bottom boob or the top boob? Is it okay that baby isn't propped up to eat?

post #7 of 15
Yay to the king size bed, Yogini! For feeding the baby on your side, the bottom boob is the easiest, but you can do both while remaining on one side. At first, at least, you'll probably prop the baby up a bit with your arm to get her to the right height for the breast...especially the top breast. I found nursing on my side quite difficult at first. I gave up on it with my first two (although, I had huge breastfeeding problems that I never resolved with both of them anyway). I perservered with DS3 and, honestly, it took me a couple of months (it's an easier position when they have more head control), but it was one of the best things I did. I was so well rested after that! At least until he became very active in his sleep around 9 months or so! I hope since I know what I'm doing now, it's easier with my new baby!

As for sleeping arrangements, I can't say for sure yet. All of our children have slept in our bed at some point. Every baby's different, though. DS1 was in our bed for 4 months, then in a crib in his own room. I couldn't sleep at all with DS2 in our bed, so that lasted about two nights, then he slept in a cradle beside our bed until he outgrew it and then a crib in our room until he was 8 months old. I wasn't ready for him to move to his own room, but DH was. With DS3, we ended up getting a new crib (we didn't want to use our old one for numerous reasons) which we set up in our room when we bought it...when he was 4 months old. He only used it for naps and slept in our bed with us until he was about 9 months old and started getting really active in his sleep. Then I needed him out. I decided I was ready for him to get into his own room when he was a bit over a year...maybe 15 months? For some reason, I was finding it difficult to sleep with him even in the room at that time. Anyway, he night weaned then with no effort on my part (although, I must admit I was hoping he would when I kicked him out of our room). Anyway, to actually answer the question, baby girl will start off in our bed, but if that's not working for us, she will sleep in a crib in our room. I will add that our bed is a queen size.
post #8 of 15


My dad built the baby a wooden cradle that rocks and can be stationary. It's deep enough that he can use it for quite a while, and it will sit right next to my bed at night. I don't sleep well anyway, but I really can't sleep with a baby/child in bed with me. I used a cradle with my other kids also. It is what works for us, and the one he made is so beautiful and perfect for our little man!
post #9 of 15

My kids fit in the co-sleeper until they were big enough to climb out of it . . . I have a picture of my daughter laying in it (for fun) at 20 months old . . . so I can't imagine a 3 month old not fitting in there, unless they are HUGE!  Babies like to be snug anyway, so I would think a baby would be happy fitting it even bigger.  We found ours on Craigslist, so it wasn't that much.  

 

And nursing on the side was one skill I didn't master with either kid and didn't like it, either.  I just scootch to a sitting position, throw some pillows around, lay my head back and nurse.  Then baby goes back in bed and I lay down again :)  There were times I did it so well that I would wake up later and couldn't figure out how baby got back in bed, HA!

post #10 of 15

We have a king size bed and co-slept.  In fact we still are most nights.  We were in the process of transitioning him to his own bed when we all got nasty colds.  It was just easier to keep him in bed with us to comfort him and help him blow his nose etc.  I night weaned @ 20 months after I got pregnant.  I just needed my sleep and couldn't take it anymore plus there wasn't really much actual nursing going on it was more for comfort.  It was pretty easy to do considering we were co-sleeping still.  He adapted in about 3 nights or less and we only nursed in the morning when the sun came up.  

 

I'm not sure what we will do this go around.  We need to get him completely in his bed because it's not safe to have a toddler and a baby in the bed.  I'm considering sidecaring the crib for the baby.

 

 

post #11 of 15

first time round we co-slept in a queen bed and it worked perfectly, no complaints from anyone. and lasted 2yrs before ds1 happily slept in his own single sized bed.

with ds2 we tried co-sleeping as a family  but it just didnt work, dh's sleep patterns had changed and in the end he played musical beds for 22months while ds2 and i co-slept in our queen bed.

This time around we have a super king bed (*bliss*) but we are also going to try using a crib next to the bed, as we found that the co-sleeping ended up causing stress to our marriage with dh and i not sleeping together 6 nights out of 7.

post #12 of 15

With my firstborn, I initially slept alone with the baby. We lived with my parents, and since we weren't married, my now husband wasn't allowed to share my room. When we moved, we all slept together. With my second, he went to sleep with my oldest and the baby and I slept together again. This time, my plan is for my husband, baby, and I to sleep together. My eldest sleeps alone. My middle will start out in his own bed and we'll keep a toddler bed in the room for when he wakes and wants to join us in our room.
 

post #13 of 15

We bedshare in a cali king bed. Hoping my 2 year old will want to start sleeping in his own bed soon but Im not holding my breath.

post #14 of 15
We bedshare in a queen bed in the floor. Honestly, I'm just getting my 5 year old out! They are usually in a crib mattress next to our bed by that age but we got him a bunk bed with his sister that he really wanted. I didn't realize until after that he had expected that I would sleep in it with him! I have no trouble nursing on my side and as they get older I don't even really wake up.
post #15 of 15

We bed share in a king size, although there is a mini-crib in our room next to our bed for a) the first few nights home from the hospital when sleep is so messed up anyway and I feel too spaced out to have baby in my bed (afraid I'd sleep too deep) and b) any night when I (oops) have a little too much wine with dinner, or c) need to move baby out of the way for, um, grown-up stuff. :)

 

Like you, I don't think my hubby and a teeny tiny baby should be next to each other, so I have a gate that goes on my side of the bed (it's the kind that squishes down on the mattress, not the kind that goes next to it and leaves a pocket for the baby to fall into) and I put the baby in between me and the gate, with DH on the other side of me. I am a sort of medium sized person with medium sized breasts (36C not nursing/36 D nursing) and I can nurse lying down from either breast while lying on the one side, although it is more comfortable to nurse from the top one, does that makes sense? For the record, though, sometimes newborns don't catch right on to the side-lying nursing. My DD was (if I remember right) about a month before she could comfortably latch with me on my side, and although DS could latch that way from the beginning I still had to sit up and put him in my lap for feedings for the first week or so, just until we figured it all out. So don't get discouraged if it doesn't work right off.

 

Night-weaning...we also did that around 12-18 months with both kids. Daddy would just take over night-time duty and I'd be off limits; it was never traumatic or anything.

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