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feeling isolated and I need to rant

post #1 of 3
Thread Starter 

stuck in this loop of need to get back to working to pay bills, REALLY not ready to be away from my 5mo baby, don't trust a stranger with him, I almost swatted a woman who reached out and played with his hand in the grocery store today.  the other half is pressuring me to introduce formula to make it easier to go back to work.  his 13yr (from previous) was formula fed and turned out fine after all.  baby is starting to teeth and sampling rice cereal, may be able to transition to 1 meal of other food while I work (haven't been real successful with pumping any sort of stockpile) oh did I mention the constant feeling of panic in the pit of my throat, you know that constricted hard to breathe feeling, and like I could bust out crying at any moment.  I'm getting professional help . . . which so far has consisted of breathing, and clenching and releasing muscles.  k not helping much.  oh and a printout about introvertedness.  guess I'm not the only one who's developed an aversion to the telephone.  still not helping.  don't want to take meds. . . my rational ocd never misses an appointment self has gone to pieces.  I have been working since I was 13 (started with babysitting) and have always managed to take care of the necessities, right now I'm looking at my car being repo'd and the roommate is moving out end of the month- if we don't find   anotherone we can't pay rent, our rental agency has a 3 day pay or vacate policy in the lease (starting the last day of the 5 day grace period).  I could really use a shoulder to cry on. 

post #2 of 3

Welcome to Mothering. hug2.gif I'm so sorry your post was missed. I think this forum is a bit slow and that's why no one saw your post. 

 

Have you been able to get any public assistance? It sounds like you need some immediate financial support and that might be the best first step before you make big decisions about going back to work.

 

Do you have postpartum depression? If not I can move your thread to a forum where you can get some better advice and help.

post #3 of 3
Quote:
Originally Posted by a quiet voice View Post
 

stuck in this loop of need to get back to working to pay bills, REALLY not ready to be away from my 5mo baby, don't trust a stranger with him, I almost swatted a woman who reached out and played with his hand in the grocery store today.  the other half is pressuring me to introduce formula to make it easier to go back to work.  his 13yr (from previous) was formula fed and turned out fine after all.  baby is starting to teeth and sampling rice cereal, may be able to transition to 1 meal of other food while I work (haven't been real successful with pumping any sort of stockpile) oh did I mention the constant feeling of panic in the pit of my throat, you know that constricted hard to breathe feeling, and like I could bust out crying at any moment.  I'm getting professional help . . . which so far has consisted of breathing, and clenching and releasing muscles.  k not helping much.  oh and a printout about introvertedness.  guess I'm not the only one who's developed an aversion to the telephone.  still not helping.  don't want to take meds. . . my rational ocd never misses an appointment self has gone to pieces.  I have been working since I was 13 (started with babysitting) and have always managed to take care of the necessities, right now I'm looking at my car being repo'd and the roommate is moving out end of the month- if we don't find   anotherone we can't pay rent, our rental agency has a 3 day pay or vacate policy in the lease (starting the last day of the 5 day grace period).  I could really use a shoulder to cry on. 

 

I'm a little confused on your post because words were jumbled up a bit. But I have had 3 children and they were all seven years apart in age and the oldest and youngest are 14 years apart in age. It's never easy, it's always like starting over when having a baby (I believe) because no two babies are the same. Try to focus on you and your baby and you will be fine.

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