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You know you're the parent of a toddler when . . .

post #1 of 66
Thread Starter 
Let's collect some funny things we've dealt with or remember as parents of toddlers.

You know you're the parent of a toddler when . ..

. . . you automatically put everything breakable or important on something higher than 3 feet.

. . . if you can't find your keys, you look in any available shoes first.

Share some of your own! smile.gif
post #2 of 66
...you schedule all appointments after mentally adding in the hour to hour and a half it will take to get your kids dressed and in the car (and if lucky: fed and not screaming), in addition to traffic, etc.
post #3 of 66
You have to wash your child's things because the dog peed on them...and your dog's things because your child peed on them!!!
post #4 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamazee View Post

. . . you automatically put everything breakable or important on something higher than 3 feet.
 

Yes! Even at other people's houses I pretty much do a scan and start moving things as soon as we get there. I'm sure they have a great time rearranging things after we leave.

 

...you schedule all appointments and visits so that they don't interfere with nap time

...you need a big purse to carry the obligatory snack/drink/toy to distract with in

post #5 of 66

You have strange rules in your house such as - "No throwing the cat at mommy."

post #6 of 66
You get told no 5 times as much as you say it.
post #7 of 66
You have to tell them no licking the dog, couch, reef tank, or mommy.
post #8 of 66

...you slow down while driving past firehouses to look for firetrucks even when your toddler isn't in the car.

 

...you get all the way to work without realizing you never switched off the toddler CD after dropping your toddler off at preschool.

post #9 of 66
...you instinctively protect grown adults from swings at the park
post #10 of 66
Lol these are fabulous!!!

... When you start talking to your pets as if they were toddlers: "no thank you, kitty" or "I'll give you food in a minute, pumpkin"

... You and your spouse use toddler lingo in that precious hour of wakefulness after toddler bedtime
post #11 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by skycheattraffic View Post

Lol these are fabulous!!!

... When you start talking to your pets as if they were toddlers: "no thank you, kitty" or "I'll give you food in a minute, pumpkin"

... You and your spouse use toddler lingo in that precious hour of wakefulness after toddler bedtime

 

And GD tactics during arguments! 

post #12 of 66
You ask the cashier at the store where the potty is even if your toddler isn't with you.
post #13 of 66
...it no longer occurs to you to close the door to the bathroom when you "go potty".
post #14 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie8681 View Post

...it no longer occurs to you to close the door to the bathroom when you "go potty".

... At other people's houses lol
post #15 of 66
...you can't relax at yoga class due to the anxiety produced by seeing all of the electrical outlets without safety plugs in them. Even though the toddler in question is at home with daddy.
post #16 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by baltmom View Post

...you slow down while driving past firehouses to look for firetrucks even when your toddler isn't in the car.


Haha ... rings so true :-D
post #17 of 66

...you sit with her for 10+ minutes in the bathroom waiting for her to do something into the toilet, and smell poop in her diaper 1 minute after you put it on.

post #18 of 66
You have uttered the statements "mommy gets to pee too" and "the cat is not for licking", also, you accidentally tell your coworkers you're hungry and need to go get "bites".
post #19 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by CrunchyMama19 View Post

You have strange rules in your house such as - "No throwing the cat at mommy."

HAHAHA! 

post #20 of 66
... You sing the Happy Birthday song twice each time you wash your hands, to be sure you washed long enough.

... You panic at the absence of your child in the grocery cart before you remember she's in the carrier right on your chest.
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