What would you have done?

[Kerrie]

Yesterday we were at a neighbor's 1st birthday party. There were a lot of other kids there including a 6 or so year old girl. DD (she'll be 3 next month) was standing with a bunch of the kids and playing with her dress (you know pulling it up and around - the norm for a little girl in a dress) and the 6 yo started saying "we don't want to see that, put your dress down'. DD was embarrased and put her dress down. I just don't know what I should have done. I told DD that it was alright because I feel that it's fine for a not even 3 yo to be showing off her adorable CDed butt and told the girl that DD was little and didn't 'know'. That's the part that I regret, DD was fine and I shouldn't have said that to the girl. Am I making any sense? What should I have said - anything? I don't/didn't want DD to be embarrased and I think that I just made it worse. Can anyone help me? In the moment I thought I was sticking up for DD and now I know that I wasn't.

[MamaAllNatural]

Do you mind if I tag along? My new 3 yo does this too and I'm interested to see what people have to say. I feel the same as you.

[Embee]

Honestly, in the moment I can't say I'd handle it at all differently. Including about questioning myself later.

If I'd had time to think about it perhaps I'd go this route: I'd have kept it VERY light and a little silly. Perhaps while giving your DD a loving rub on the back, smile big and happily state to the 6 year old: "Actually, I didn't mind seeing that at all." And then usher your DD away with you for a time--just to make her feel a little more secure in the eyes of embarrassment. There are many emotions that are heart breakers but seeing your child embarrassed is serious heart string tugger!

At any rate, by keeping it light and just stating your opinion, you keep the 6 year old from in turn becoming embarrassed (hopefully) and perhaps give her an insight that others may think differently. In all liklehood, she's just repeating something that was perhaps said to her in the same situation perhaps by a well meaning (but maybe a tad UPTIGHT) parent.

[lauraess]

I totally agree with Embee. Everything she said was right on, although to be able to respond that way in the moment is the challenge. I know that i heard this same thing stated in almost the same way from another "bigger" girl and thought how sad it is that many parents scold in this way over something so pure and innocent. I guess it's just the beginning of how many ways there are to confuse a child about her/his body.
All we can do as confident mamas is reasuure with lots of hugs. I kissed my annas belly the other day saying how much i love her belly.
Its hard to hear these things and not be hurt for your child. Im having a hard time knowing my son is growing up and being put in situations that will no-doubt tear down his ego and his innocence and yet what can i do???
This is life.
laura