I haven't spent a lot of time in the forums so I apologise if this sort of question has been discussed a lot before. I'm honestly too tired and fussy-headed to try and see if my answer is already out there (after browsing through the first couple topics). And I would just love to know I'm not alone.
My 18 month old has never been a great sleeper - naps have always been short and he needs a lot of help falling asleep. During the day I'm sometimes lucky when he'll just nurse to sleep (and we're still in a transition from 2 to 1 nap since he so often seems to still need 2 when the rest of his sleep doesn't seem to be enough - although he is starting parttime daycare in a week and will be on 1 nap then).
Nighttimes are a different story though. I nurse him but he never just falls asleep and it feels like we are just fighting him for upwards of an hour. We do a lot of bouncing/rocking but I am finding myself feeling angry with how much he fights sleep and worry that my gentle, attachment approach is becoming more harmful than good. And my partner believes that we have "sleep trained" him to need us to fall asleep (even when I try to explain he needs us for everything still at this stage - to help him get dressed, eat, go to the potty...). He somehow thinks that if we just put him in a crib in another room, things will be solved. So it's challenging we're not on the same page even if I've explained that a child sleeping in a separate space still needs help falling asleep. But he's more influenced by mainstream beliefs that babies should learn to sleep on their own.
I do not want to move my child out of our bed. I had considered night-weaning but since it'll be a big shift for him to be in daycare (and have less nursing during the day), I have decided to wait until he's settled into the new routine and perhaps try then if necessary. Dr. Gordon's method sounds like a good one for us.
But the problem continues to be (and would probably be more so if I wasn't nursing as much) how much time and effort of what feels like fighting him to get him to sleep (even when he's so obviously tired). I am admittedly not a great sleeper and I fight sleep myself so I can't blame him.
Are there ideas out there of how to better help him sleep without losing our sanity (and increasing the fighting between my partner and I)?
Perhaps a separate topic but I suspect they're related - he is also hitting more. Especially in bed (for example when he was up at 5am today and we did not want to get out of bed, he began hitting us with books).
A long post but thank you in advance for reading it and any thoughts or advice you have!!