or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Birth and Beyond › Healing Birth Trauma › Did you experience abuse in a hospital birth?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Did you experience abuse in a hospital birth?

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 

Well, I definitely experienced it in a US hospital birth.


Interested to see it addressed in this NIH editorial.


Abuse in Hospital-Based Birth Settings?


post #2 of 5

While the first time around I consider it more neglect than abuse, although neglect is abuse technically, I do feel somewhat abused the second time.

The first time around I was young, naive, and uneducated (a.k.a. ignorant). The midwife tried to be as natural as possible with me but I was so scared. She did the IV and continuous fetal monitoring and Hep-Lock and broke my waters but she asked me if I wanted to get out of bed and squat for pushing and showed me the placenta and put my son on me right away and asked if I wanted to breastfeed. She also denied me the Epidural (which I am actually grateful for now) even though I begged and instead she gave me Demerol which just took the edge off the pain (by making me utterly drowsy), but didn't take the pain away. My son was born asleep (but alive) and blue which she said was normal but my research suggests that color is an indicator of oxygen deprivation and may be one of many culprits for my son's current dysfunctions. I remember the nurse reminding me over and over about how "the baby is more important than you now" which is what I wanted to begin with and didn't need to be reminded of.

The second time I was still young and naive but had experience and What to Expect When Expecting. I had a membrane sweep 5 days before my "due date" and began labor the following morning. 4 days later things picked up and got more intense so we left for the hospital. Soon after we arrived they broke my water by pushing down on my belly hard during and between contractions (trying to hurry up) and asked if I'd like the Epidural (multiple times, like I wasn't sure what I wanted) and I refused but once things got unbearably painful I requested Demerol. Soon later I had the nurse coming in and out flipping me over and checking the monitor. The baby's heartbeat was going down. They gave me oxygen, put in an internal fetal monitor, and a catheter and IV fluids. The urge to push came on literally like a punch in the stomach. The nurse was a little taken aback by the noise I made and called the doctor. She checked me, threw my legs in the air, and demanded me to push. I couldn't do it. I wasn't having a contraction. So I told her "I can't do it like this". She left me alone. The baby had his umbilical cord around his neck. My husband wasn't "allowed" to cut the cord. She demanded Pitocin for me and pulled out the placenta. My baby was placed in a warmer and every time I asked for him they said "he wasn't warm enough yet" or "he hasn't gotten his bath yet. He was 4 hours old when i held him and he had no issues, he was in my room that whole time. i wish I'd have gotten him but I was afraid and didn't think i was allowed to. 

After that I went on to have 2 more births, drug free, out of hospital. They were the most empowering experiences of my life. I'd do it again in an instant and wish I'd have known the first two times that I had a choice, a voice, and options. I am planning on becoming a doula and for now am a natural birth (among other issues) advocate. 

post #3 of 5

I have suspicions that I was given an episiotomy during my first delivery because I was an annoyance to the OB (on-call for my chosen OB who was out of town that weekend) and I'd requested not to have one.

post #4 of 5
In my first birth, I feel like I was taken advantage of because I didn't know better. But with my second, I was outright mocked for having a birth plan, told that I didn't have a choice and forced to have an epidural I didn't want (which they kept turning up even while I begged them not to), physically held down and literally forced to push in the lithotomy position when it wasn't working for me, told I wasn't capable of giving birth (which I did anyway, when they let go of me to prepare my c-section), had my baby held in by a nurse when he finally crowned, and finally was told that security was going to come and take my perfectly healthy baby away from me if I didn't let him go to the nursery because they were "too busy" to let me room in.

So, yeah.
post #5 of 5
Bump greensad.gif
I'm bumping b/c I finally made it to this forum...I'm feeling overwhelmed &thankful for a place to share♥
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Healing Birth Trauma
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Birth and Beyond › Healing Birth Trauma › Did you experience abuse in a hospital birth?