I'm feeling so sad and helpless about my mother, who's in the hospital for her depression for what seems like the bazillionth time. It's at least the third hospitalization in the past year. My mother has been struggling with depression, to some degree, at times very severe, for the past 15 years or so. She's had electroshock therapy and been on a barrage of medications. She's been seeing the same therapist regularly for years. It seems like her medications are constantly being manipulated, because when they help with one problem, they cause another. Right now, for instance, she has been off of all of her regular medications for a few weeks in order to start on "the patch." Since she's been in the hospital, she's barely slept. Before they took her off her medications (after her last hospitalization), she was sleeping 18 hours or more a day. ARGH!
I just wish I knew how to help her, and I feel like "they" MUST be missing something! My mother has a whole host of weird ailments along with the depression, none of which the doctors seem to be able to help. She has pain in her eyes, mouth, and neck; EXTREME dry mouth, that makes her suck in her lips funny; severe pain in her hip that is NOT from arthritis, although she has arthritis as well; colitis requiring 18 pills per day....I'm sure there are other things. She tends not to tell me, even if things are serious.
I'm frustrated and sad. It's hard for me to visit her at the hospital, since she is my only source of childcare. I have taken my DD (3) to see her in the hospital a few times, but I don't like it, as the other patients are unpredictable. I hate being left to deal with my father when my mother is in the hospital because he....well, he's a special breed and likes to unload all of his negative emotions onto other people.
Mostly, I just wish I had my mother around. I with I knew what she could really be like, without this cloak of depression. I wish she could be a more reliable figure for my daughter, who she loves and cares for. I'm starting to feel that this might not end.
The doctor at the hospital sees her as having a long-term disease, meant to be managed, but not cured. I get that. But I also feel that they can't even get her to a point of balance that hangs together for more than a few months at a time. That's not really managed.
I'm posting this here, where there are so many with viewpoints about health and whatnot that are new to me, hoping that someone might have some suggestions about different paths to take, or something that might be overlooked in her current care.
Or maybe I'm just unwilling to accept that this may truly be "untreatable."