I don't know even how to start. Long story short, I need support, and I can't get it.
I don't like being pregnant. Just not my thing. I like kids well enough, once they get to a certain age (like, 10), but I don't like being pregnant, and don't like babies. I am dealing with gender disappointment, which makes me the worst mother ever, according to people on message boards (yes, I've been told to give him up for adoption just because I wanted a girl). I am borderline plus size, and hate the clothes that actually fit me.
My husband lost his job. Not really his fault, but when the end result is the same, it doesn't really matter, KWIM? He refuses to find a new job and insists we can live on his severance and my salary. We're good for a few months, but not forever, not even until the baby comes. It's likely we'll have to move right after the baby and I am dreading it. How am I going to sell a house with a newborn?
I can't even see someone for counseling because my EAP refuses to refer me (it's normal to be stressed while you're pregnant) and I can't in good conscience spend money on a counselor with all this other stuff going on and me paying out of pocket for my midwife.
Any ideas of how I can break out of this funk? I do not have any friends that I am even talk to. Please go easy. I've already been run off one message board for daring to be depressed about being pregnant.