Need some advice on caring for girl's diaper area
Don't be embarrassed, mama! I always just did/do a gentle wipe when I change the diaper, not super rough or anything, and not with the purpose of getting all the discharge, but just to make sure there was no poop or pee left. Then when you're bathing them, take a wash cloth and gently wipe the area with water as well (I don't use soap on my baby girl's genitals).
The dr sears page on bathing babies was helpful to me: http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/skin-care/bathing-babies. I know it feels kind of silly to have to ask, but don't worry about it.