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Mothering › Groups › September 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Attending a wedding with a one month old -- Good idea? Bad idea?

Attending a wedding with a one month old -- Good idea? Bad idea?

Poll Results: Driving 2.5 hours and a attending a wedding with a 1 month old baby -- Good idea? Bad idea?

 
  • 40% (6)
    Sure -- why not?
  • 6% (1)
    Don't do it!
  • 53% (8)
    It depends.
15 Total Votes  
post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 

Friends are getting married about a month after my due date.  Now that the invitation has arrived, we need to figure out if we're going or not.  As a first time mom, I'm totally clueless and have no idea if thinking we can attend is overly optimistic or not.

 

Pertinent details:

--It's about 2 to 3 hours away from where we live.  If we attend, we would allow lots of extra time for stops along the way

--We would plan to stay 1 night overnight

--The baby was included in the invitation, there will be a fair number of kids at the wedding, and we will know a lot of people there.

--The wedding is not formal.  The ceremony is being held outside (weather permitting) and there is a halloween theme with costumes encouraged.

--If the baby arrives at 42 weeks, and just 2 weeks before the wedding, we probably wouldn't attend.

--I'm trying to convince DH that kids can be portable. He's less convinced.

 

So, people with kids --  tell me -- Could this potentially be okay?  Or is this an awful idea?

post #2 of 22
As long as they will understand if you cancel at the last minute (in case baby comes late, or there are any special circumstances that would require you to stay close to home) I would personally feel comfortable planning to attend. Especially as it sounds casual and accepting of kids. Newborns are surprisingly portable and adaptable. We took DS everywhere at that age. Actually we still do but it was way easier when he was little!!
post #3 of 22
I agree with livingsky. Newborns are incredibly portable. We took our dd camping at 5 weeks old. (We slept in an air conditioned trailer with full hook ups.) Just allow lots of extra travel time.
post #4 of 22
I agree that babies are incredibly portable. That being said, I would say yes to going with the understanding that at the last minute you may decide not to go.

I would feel like there would be too many variables to decide for sure now. I think it's definitely something you will need to decide right before you go, so you can factor in how you're feeling, what baby's schedule and temperament is like, etc.
post #5 of 22

Oh, yes, this is totally doable! I mean, I'd let them know that certain circumstances might cause you to cancel — like if baby comes late, or there's some sort of complication that makes it harder — but for a normal one-month-old, you should be fine. Since you're planning to stay the night anyway, that gives you a safety net if baby has a fussy night and you need to leave early. 

My oldest was not quite three months old at our own wedding. That I wouldn't necessarily recommend. LOL. He needed me a lot and I missed out on some things (like our meal!). But, even then, it was pretty easy and there were LOTS of people willing to hold him and help out. 

post #6 of 22

I say go. My best friend just went to a wedding about a month after she had her daughter and it was a similar situation to yours in terms of some of the details. She wasn't sure prior to the baby being born either, but it all worked out, they had a lot of fun and were really glad that they ended up going.

post #7 of 22
It'll be a long time before your child is more portable than at one month. Barring unexpected health problems in either of you, in your situation I'd plan to go. One thing I will say is that weddings can be loud for babies. We had infant ear protectors for my son which worked well in super loud environments.
post #8 of 22

Beep, what kind of infant ear protectors did you use?

post #9 of 22

We've been invited to a wedding 4 weeks after my due date, also, and I think we will go (with the couple understanding that we might have to cancel if some unforeseen circumstance arises).  I was actually talking to my MW about how soon after birth we could take the baby back home to El Salvador and she said newborns are very portable and also have really great immune systems if they are BFing (it seems like it's kind of a myth that you have to be super careful about exposing them to germs - of course, you don't want to actively take your baby around lots of folks with contagious illness, but you don't have to keep them quarantined).  She told us we could travel back as early as 2 weeks (though it will take a little longer than that to get the birth certificate and passport).  That really, the trip would be harder on me than on the baby.  I would assume the same would apply to your wedding trip.  You might feel too worn out to go, but the baby probably won't be a problem.

post #10 of 22
Having the event in driving distance is a good point. We are also invited to a wedding 3-4 weeks past due date and won't be going, since the wedding is on the other side of the country.
post #11 of 22
My husband's cousin and his wife brought their 2month old to India with us and it worked out perfectly. So I think you're fine with a wedding a few hours away. smile.gif
post #12 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thistlemoon View Post

Beep, what kind of infant ear protectors did you use?

Ours are by a company called Peltor. I think Baby Banz also makes them but that I decided from online reviews the Peltor ones would be better. Sorry, but I can't remember why they seemed better! My son is sensitive to really loud noises (he's OK with regular noises though) so they've been good for things like late rehearsal dinner with raucous frat brother toasts, naps next to the speakers when a mariachi band was playing, and managing his anxiety during fire alarms in our apartment building.
post #13 of 22

Like lilmamita mentioned, the trip may be harder on you than it would be on the baby, especially if you don't function well on little sleep.  Most moms start to feel human by around 4 weeks again, (and I know we took 2 week old DD1 to a friends get-together when she was 17 days old).  Babies are totally portable, especially if you have a sling or a wrap.  Especially when you mention that the wedding is likely to be baby friendly and casual, that might make me more inclined to go if they invitees are close to you.

post #14 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by beep View Post

 
Ours are by a company called Peltor. I think Baby Banz also makes them but that I decided from online reviews the Peltor ones would be better. Sorry, but I can't remember why they seemed better! My son is sensitive to really loud noises (he's OK with regular noises though) so they've been good for things like late rehearsal dinner with raucous frat brother toasts, naps next to the speakers when a mariachi band was playing, and managing his anxiety during fire alarms in our apartment building.

It is so weird, all the ones I have found online (including Baby Banz) are all for children over the age of 2.

post #15 of 22

OOPs, nevermind, I just found what I needed! Thanks!

post #16 of 22

We attended a wedding with my first when he was 12 days old.  I was very late having him so I figured we wouldn't go but we felt up to it so we went.  The hardest time was finding a dress/outfit to wear that was easy to nurse in and fit and I felt comfortable in.  It was only about an hour away and also outdoors and casual.  I'm glad we went.  As everyone else says, you may just have to let them know that you may have to cancel with little notice if you don't feel up to it yet.  

post #17 of 22

My daughter came to a wedding when she was 5 weeks old, and she was fine the entire day and evening. So I don't see a problem.

post #18 of 22

My nephew was born 3 weeks before our wedding, and my sister in law ( the mother bless her heart ) was my maid of honor. ^^ It was an all out door wedding in October in FL and he did alright. It helped that there was an indoor area could use to get him out of the outdoors if needed. But he just sat there and slept most of the time.

 

That being said, I'm in the same boat as you. My CEO of our company is getting Married the beginning of Nov. We haven't decided if the grandparents are going to take over and baby sit or if were going to bring our 2 month old to the wedding. Decisions...

post #19 of 22
I forgot to mention that the wedding we've decided not to go to is gonna be super formal from all i can tell from the invite, and the fact that it's gonna be held at a castle. I know there will be a seated dinner afterwards, and then ballroom dancing.. None of which screams "yes bring a newborn" to me. If it was a casual outdoor affair however, and if I knew the people better AND if we didn't have to fly, I would still consider it. I actually did consider it again despite all my points after reading this thread, but DF was decided in not wanting to go. So there's that..
Edited by vc2013 - 8/20/13 at 10:50am
post #20 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by greentomato View Post

Friends are getting married about a month after my due date.  Now that the invitation has arrived, we need to figure out if we're going or not.  As a first time mom, I'm totally clueless and have no idea if thinking we can attend is overly optimistic or not.

 

Pertinent details:

--It's about 2 to 3 hours away from where we live.  If we attend, we would allow lots of extra time for stops along the way

--We would plan to stay 1 night overnight

--The baby was included in the invitation, there will be a fair number of kids at the wedding, and we will know a lot of people there.

--The wedding is not formal.  The ceremony is being held outside (weather permitting) and there is a halloween theme with costumes encouraged.

--If the baby arrives at 42 weeks, and just 2 weeks before the wedding, we probably wouldn't attend.

--I'm trying to convince DH that kids can be portable. He's less convinced.

 

So, people with kids --  tell me -- Could this potentially be okay?  Or is this an awful idea?

 

This is so strange! I have a wedding that a friend wants my daughter (3) to be in (flower girl!) and it's 12 days after my due date with daughter #2. It's a pumpkin theme and is only about an hour away. My DH is totally against it! I was thinking it wouldn't be a HUGE deal but it's so close to my EDD that I can't really say. I was thinking about posting the same thing here but thought I'd just let DH have his way and not make plans to go. Which is sad for me because I LOVE weddings. 

 

I agree on babies being portable. But I would like to mention my DD had some bad fussy nights and I would probably not feel comfortable staying at the wedding very late due to that. But you could still have a good time! I think if it were me, I'd go if it was my first baby, this time around, I'm saying NO to alot more.

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