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Mothering › Groups › February 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Co-Sleeping Woes

Co-Sleeping Woes

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 

Okay, up til about 2 weeks go, co-sleeping was the bomb.  I slept, hubby slept, lil dude SLEPT.  Everyone was very very happy w/ the arrangement.

 

2 weeks ago, teeth, and some sleeping issues, but nothing huge.  The last 2 nights, well, hubby said i woke up crying at him b/c the baby was crying at me.  I don't remember waking up mad at hubby, but my dream this morning was i was on my way to the airport (walking w/ many heavy bags) w/ my kids, and by the side of the road put down a book i had finished reading, and my baby.  i didn't realize i had left him til we got to the airport, but i considered getting through security and check-in before going back to get him.  it was crazy that i LEFT my baby anywhere.  and then i realized i was avoiding him in my dreams b/c he kicked, fussed, pulled my hair and attacked me all night long.  

 

I started eating dairy, which I'm cutting out today, and drinking some tea (which i will cut out tomorrow).  Hubby is now campaigning for me to move baby out of  bed, which i really really don't want to do.  but if i wake up to fingers in my nose and hair being pulled out one strand at a time too many more mornings, i will probably do so.

 

okay mamas- insight?  i don't want bed to be a place for playing, but for resting and nursing (lil dude doesn't comfort nurse, he either is playing w/ me, or sleeping).  i'm not getting bit anymore since i only offer it when he makes clear hunger signs, but can't calm him down w/ nipples unless he's really truly hungry.  which isn't when he's playing.  please please please send me some of your wisdom~

post #2 of 20
Typing anything on here is super slow for me, so I'll be brief.

So baby is playing, pulling etc during the night, yes? Not like while you're putting him to sleep initially?

Maybe he's needing to cut down on an afternoon nap or something?
You're not away from him much during the day are you?
Anything about the bedtime routine change recently?

frustrating!
post #3 of 20

DS had a few nights of playing where he usually just sleeps and nurses and goes back to sleep.  It was frustrating, but he has gone back to sleeping a bit better now (he still nurses about every 2 hours). 

 

Hoping it is just a developmental stage.

post #4 of 20
I'm in the boat with others that can't spend the desired amount of time chatting here... bummer! I waaant to!

But for the past few weeks, Olive's had some funky nights. (She was formerly the easiest cosleeper ever, like HoP's.) Non-consecutive nights, she'd wake starting at 2ish, and writhe and whimper or yell for a few minutes, then doze off and do it again an hour later, again an again until morning. It wasn't nursing-related; she'd get more upset if I offered her the boob. Sometimes she was gassy, sometimes she'd actually pooped or peed (a rarity for her during sleeping). I got so frustrated that I actually woke DH for help one night - I hadn't done that yet! (The lucky dog.)

Anyway, we had two back-to-normal nights in a row (fingers crossed, thank you thank you) so I'm thinking things might be looking up. My only insight is that it's a stage - like most things! lol - and it WILL pass. Just breathe best you can and snuggle close while he lets you. That'll make the rough times somewhat redeemable, at least.

Good luck, mama! Hope you get some sleep soon!! <3
post #5 of 20
Thread Starter 

THANKS MAMAS!

 

last night was better.  dairy free (i think gas and some pain have definitely been a part of it, since gas is a rarity for him) again and then we only had a small struggle.

 

one thing that has happened is i started staying up later than the baby to hang w/ hubby.  and then baby wakes up and wants me and when i'm going to bed, he wakes up again and is frustrated.  hubby and i had chat and set up pack-n-play for naps/non-bedtime sleeping, and agreed to go to bed earlier w/ baby together.  

 

last night, there was an initial wake-up when we went to bed, but he settled down (after some screaming!!!  wahhhhh!!!!) and did end up nursing down after his little mini-fit.  then he was great til 7am, when he was happily and loudly and violently assaulting me.  he LOVES to grab my face, in the dark or awake, and just love on me very aggressively w/ his hands and sometimes his mouth.  

 

I haven't been away from him more during the days, but for the last few weeks, we've had houseguests, in-laws, and friends around almost constantly.  He's been held a lot, and might just be a little overstimulated, along w/ almost crawling, wanting to eat (maybe he's actually swallowed some food, also likely to affect sleep) and mommy messing up our rocking bedtime patterns. 

 

2 nights isn't terrible, but it was bad enough that hubby and i had a bit of a tiff just from exhaustion and frustration.  turns out he also was interested in moving baby b/c lack of intimacy and private bed space (hence starting the pack-n-play for an option) plus my dropped libido (freaked him out, he's totally terrified of that) but i think i might have ovulated and am actually PMSing on top of it all!  

 

 

here's for the little things to work and starting tonight!

 

ps-

Totally have crazy slow screen/typing too!  horrible.

post #6 of 20
(til I can get to a real computer)

<3<3<3
post #7 of 20
Thread Starter 

Sooooo- last night baby woke up as we were coming to bed and was UP.  for an hour while we read and hung out, and then he couldn't get to sleep, even w lights out and us going down.  so i finally put him in his pack-n-play and after one cry he was sound asleep.  and stayed there until he was hungry.  then he was in our bed for the rest of the night.  i was engorged on my left side this morning and had to pump.  

 

so we'll see what happens!!!

 

i'm kinda sad, but kinda hoping this phase passes and i can have my snuggle buddy back... sniff

post #8 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by HouseofPeace View Post

 

last night, there was an initial wake-up when we went to bed, but he settled down (after some screaming!!!  wahhhhh!!!!) and did end up nursing down after his little mini-fit.  then he was great til 7am, when he was happily and loudly and violently assaulting me.  he LOVES to grab my face, in the dark or awake, and just love on me very aggressively w/ his hands and sometimes his mouth.  

 This has also been happening to us. I wake up every morning to my hair being pulled or my face being scratched. Couple days ago I opened my eyes to find DD with her tongue far out of her mouth, staring right at me and licking her father's arm while he slept...

 

She's been waking up earlier and earlier as well, which sucks so very much. We used to get until around 9, 9:30ish but now it can get as early as 5am when she's up and playing around. I'm not considering ending out co-sleeping since I'm quite sure that this would only be worse if she was sleeping separately from us (i.e., it'd be crying instead of playing and I'd have to actually get out of bed to comfort her), but I could really use more sleep.

post #9 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teles View Post

 This has also been happening to us. I wake up every morning to my hair being pulled or my face being scratched. Couple days ago I opened my eyes to find DD with her tongue far out of her mouth, staring right at me and licking her father's arm while he slept...

I storted because I was laughing so hard at this.  Ahhh, thanks Teles!

post #10 of 20

we have totally reached this 'stage' also!!  my perfect sleeping baby (as in, he always slept in our bed, nursed right back to sleep etc) has been waking up fussing, waking up EASILY (like if another kid comes in to whisper something to me he wakes up) ..  he slept 8 hours straight one night and then BAM every night he wakes up or fights sleep or whatever at some point. i am keeping him in our bed .. since i don't have room for the crib or anything else right now and i think that would make it worse anyway -   rocking has been working for us,  if he wakes up when we come to bed and tries to just be AWAKE i can rock him to sleep with a white noise app blaring on my phone..   it takes about 20 mins for him to give up but the one night i tried not to do that he was up for TWO HOURS (from like 3:30-5:30 AM UGH) i was a zombie after just that one night -

 

its just annoying that he slept better, longer than any of my other kids, since we got past 4 months and 5 months i thought maybe he would just be a good sleeper..  nope.

post #11 of 20

ditto with the waking up fussy and playing. she tries to roll over onto her belly and starts whining because i won't let her. naomi also loves harassing hubby while he's sleeping. mostly face smacking and yelling HEHY! until he rolls over or grabs her and blows bubbles on her belly. and also waking up between 5-6, but we started putting a sheet over the window/curtains for more darkness, and she slept until 8 yesterday and after 7 today. plus the darker room helps her stay asleep. 

post #12 of 20

Yeah... so Margot's never ever ever been even close to the greatest sleeper. She sleeps very lightly and wakes frequently. When she was younger, she had lots of gas/tummy issues but then I think a lot of her night waking habits became second nature to her. She went through a terrible phase of waking every 10 minutes and wanting to nurse back down for comfort, which gave made her overfull and more wakeful. Oy. Then we had a few blessed weeks of her "only" waking every 2 hours or so, sometimes even giving a nice stretch from 8 pm to 11 pm and another from 3 am to 6 am..... but now we're back to the waking every ten minutes thing. And she's so much stronger and more agile now! She can roll, twist, turn, jab! 

 

Her favorite sleeping position is on her side, facing me- but when she wakes up, lately she refuses to be helped into that position for me to pat her on her back. She wiggles back and forth whining and is SO hard to put back to sleep. I don't know that she wants to play exactly, but she does want to be held by me and only me. Not even my husband can soothe/hold her at night anymore. She cries with increasing intensity until I pick her up to hold her, and she wants me to keep holding her throughout the night and wakes up almost every time I g-e-n-t-l-y place her on the bed beside me. Last night I slept with two pillows beneath me, two propping up my arms, holding her- newborn style. 

 

Me=zombie.

post #13 of 20

And by "I slept" I mean, I didn't really sleep at all. Waaa.

post #14 of 20

I haven't been on the site in a week and the first thread I see is this one and I got really excited! ME TOO LADIES ME TOO!!!!! 

 

I'm trying to parse out if co-sleeping actually sucks with this baby or if I'm just not remembering how it *really* was with my older two. I swear I used to be able to sleep through nursing, they would wake up, latch on, and everyone was happy. But this dude is so squirmy! He's on and off all night and has a really intense latch and I'm, like many of you, feeling insane.

 

Our solution for now: We have the pack n play set up in the living room for naps. DH takes Lou down sometime in the early morning so that I can get some solid sleep. My rule of thumb is that if I haven't been able to get baby to go back to sleep on the boob for two hours, I wake up DH. That's usually my limit. And then you know what? Lou either sleeps on DH's chest or in the pack n play (with DH on the couch) LIKE A CHAMP. DH thinks this means he might just sleep better out of bed (away from the tempting, fussiness-inducing milk source?) and that maybe we should get a crib in our room. I'm not ready though! Haha. My older kids were in bed with us until 1.5-2 and we're so far away from that.

post #15 of 20
We're in a bad sleeping phaze too. We were settled nicely with a 10pm-8:30-9am ish schedule with baby sleeping in the crib half the night and with us after that. Then teething started and he was like the newborn he never was. Up every hour wanting to feed. Not fussy, not playing just wanting boob all the time. We tried running him back to the crib after feedings to try to keep him down longer but gave up after three fail nights. Back to full time co sleeping last night and it was better. I have no idea if it was related but i'll take it. He's waking more easily too. I could have pummeled the motorcyclist who revved his huge bike outside the window the other night!
post #16 of 20
Jumping on this thread to agree. Love co-sleeping - I'm not concinced that's the problem - I think that our babies just just be so excited about life (or doing some crazy growing/learning right now) that sleep, in general, is tough.

Whew. Sleepy. Hugs, mamas.
post #17 of 20

 After struggling to work something out where she doesn't fall out of the bed anymore, I found these and I highly recommend them to anyone dealing with the same issue.

They are called Sure and Secure Double Bed Rails from Summer Infant. They were relatively inexpensive (~$50) and work super well. It's a ridiculous nightmare trying to get them on, mind you, but once you work it out they're fantastic and super secure.

post #18 of 20

that's awesome-thank you! 

post #19 of 20

Thank Teles, I just caught A swinging his legs around the side of the bed and wiggling down... and it's a LONG way down from this lunker bed unfortunately. I need these!

post #20 of 20
Thread Starter 

things are better over here.  suddenly.  not last night (he actually might have eaten some food?  he was not himself) but the night before he slept from 8:45pm til 8:45 am!!!!

 

i buckled down to schedule and have accepted this child needs me w/ him for nursing and resting.  during the day, i lay down (and pray my 2 1/2 year old doesn't destroy the house). 

 

much happier.  hoping the same for you all!

Mothering › Groups › February 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Co-Sleeping Woes