~Weekly Chat Thread August 19th-25th~ - Page 2
Mamapigeon, DS has been wanting a lot of extra attention (especially from me) right now. Sometimes is manifests in a sweet cuddly angel boy, and sometimes it comes out as a tiny hell-raiser whom I've never met! He did try out the baby role a little when we were doing a lot of washing and putting away of baby clothes and diapers. He wanted me to try and swaddle him in the blankets and then wanted to try on diapers... We finally found some big diapers and I put one on him. He was so exited! He ran out of the room and around the house. He came waddling back about two minutes later and said, "Mama, can you take this off? This sucks. I can't move." (I've never heard him use the word "sucks" before. I think I would have felt worse about it if it hadn't been so astute.) He hasn't wanted to BE a baby since then.
When he turns into the child-that-I-don't-even-know, even though it feels like the last thing in the world that I want to do, I sit down and draw him close and just try and be as calm and present as I can. I try and remember that he is just releasing, he doesn't know how to come to me and say, "Mama, I feel shafted! Who the hell is this 'baby' and what makes him the bees-knees?" So, he acts like a nutter. It doesn't always go super smoothly, but I just try and be calm and present (like I said) because I think that is what he really needs. Plus when I get frustrated and fed-up then neither of us feel good, we feel altogether worse for the whole day rather than just a blip in our day. Hope this rambling helps somewhat... Good luck mama!
Two more things that have helped my kids transition.
Staying on top of feeding them. Monkey is hungry every two hours and in the busy it is easy to forget since he does not declare "hungry, thirsty" like bee will.
I ask them to help and snuggle me. Again to make sure it gets in and gets around their not asking. Both like that I have a lap again.
Was I not just saying this same thing a few months ago. Roto-rooter was just here and they drilled out the freaking line and said we should be fine if we do it once a year !!! It's a plumbers conspiracy...
You know what's really fun... Shop vac-ing black water off the laundry room at 9 months pregnant....
Ah the perils of buying an old house....
Banana, ugh, I can't believe you're STILL dealing with this! :(
39+3.... Tomorrow 39+4.... More pregnant than I've been since #1, who was breech (which is why I thought she was overdue). My body is so ready, but just doesn't want to do it. Having nightly painful contractions I have to moan through, but they never get close together and eventually fizzle out, leaving me with a day full of BHs. If tonight doesn't put me into labor, I'm hoping the chiro tomorrow does...
Drinking RRL three times a day, eating pineapple, going for walks, staying busy, DTD nightly....
Oh, got my notice in the mail today about the scheduled c-section on Sep 5. If it comes to that, we will break my water on the 4th and see what happens...
I've also been watching a lot of morning tv. Live with Kelly and Michael and The View are about as intellectually stimulating as I can go when I am recovering from the night before and dousing myself in buckets of coffee. Ha! And I am actually getting reasonably good sleep. My sweet newborn does seem to have an alert period around 4-5:30 am though and that particular one sort of kills me.
Mamapigeon, my DS will be 3 in September and I am employing combinations of all the tactics Leigh and Mama505 mentioned. A lot of present, special time with DS-as much as I can manage. The first week or two pp, I know I was super short and grouchy with DS and he was kind of spiraling downward. On the recommendation of some other moms in the Gentle Discipline forum, I started reading Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn and started recognizing exhaustion-inspired, but nonetheless punitive/hurtful messages I was sending DS and began re-focusing what I was saying/doing with him when I could tell he was having anxiety (well, all the time, but especially in response to his anxiety-inspired tantrums, anger, etc). I know this is not the case for all mamas here, but when I feel especially overwhelmed/stressed/frustrated with DS, I think about my role as a SAHM now (and not the main breadwinner as I was when DS was born): taking care of these kids is my main and only essential job. I don't have anywhere I have to be or do anything else that can't wait. That helps me re-focus and re-think how to most compassionately reach out to DS or not melt down myself when I think of getting somewhere by a certain time or trying to maintain some type of perfect house/ideal. But I think this adjustment is just likely to be hard for you, your DS...everyone because it just is. But it won't last forever.
I love keeping up with everyone and do check in daily- just not as verbose or coherent as I was while still pregnant...which seems ironic considering I was a little bit of a drooly, hormonal, exhausted mess then! Thinking of you all.
Oh, and I also want to give another shout out/hat tip to Edelweiss. You are totally kicking butt and taking names, lady, even if you're just feeling exhausted. Your kids and DH are so lucky to have you!
Banana - so not fun! We had tree roots clogging our water when DD was a week old and they said every year we'd have to have them come out. She's 4 and it hasn't happened since so they were at least wrong about that and saved us some $$.
I agree about the newborn nursing. I have to position my breasts just-so and right now using a nipple shield. I tried tandeming today and had DH hold a breast but he has no idea what he's doing even though I tried to explain it to him. Then one baby gets de-latched and while I try to fix it the other one comes off and I say forget it and have DH just finish the one on the bottle. My LC said they're both just too disorganized to nurse right now and to limit them to 10 minutes a session. I see another LC tomorrow and hope it goes well. I just want them to nurse but I think I'm going to be pumping for a bit longer. My supply is up today, though! I don't know if it's the ton of baked oatmeal or cup of rice I ate today or a nap or what but I'm excited. Maybe within a couple of weeks I'll be at my goal (I want to make at least 50 oz/day since I read on Kelly Mom 25 oz is average).
Still here. :/ My mom said the unfunny that she thinks God wants me to experience going "really overdue" this time. Uh, thanks... Zen, must find the zen. At least I had no prodromal last night so I slept. But I woke with my super early rising husband when I had a nightmare about trees falling on our house and escaping (we aren't even surrounded by any trees here!).
Newbie nursing - I've always been pretty lucky that my kids have incredible head control out of the womb. Plus I'm super small chested, even with my milk in, so I don't really need to support the boob. Although I do forget that holding baby's head in my HAND is better at first - I get so used to the older nurslings just nestling in my elbow. :p I'm excited that since this is our last, I won't be putting any real limits on nursing age... I let my oldest nurse through pregnancy and tandem and HATED it, so I chose to wean #2 and #3 after getting pregnant. It was really really emotional this last time.
I feel like I pay pin the boob in the baby at night, trying to nurse in the dark. Toddlers are so much easier, you just pop it out and they do the rest. Luckly my big girls tip down a little so I don't have to support them, they are in just the right spot.
The fun is that I also have breast tissue in my right armpit and right now it is really engorged. So I spend a bunch of the day with an ice pack tucked into my bra there to train it to shut up and be an armpit again. Last time I ended up with a nasty clog for months, so hopefully not again.
First doctors visit today. Newborn photo session tomorrow.
I pumped yesterday to relieve some engorgement. Bee saw the pump when she got home and gave it a yea milk machine. Monkey then begged to see it in action. So now I need to decide how to freeze it, bags or tiny bottles? 1oz or the whole 2? I bough the Hygeia pump I have had my eye on last night.
Husband is home for three weeks (which really rocks) but he is not used to this much kid time and they are getting to him. Mostly the normal daily tantrum, fighting with each other, disagreeing with everything, not wanting the lunch you just made sort of stuff. But he is used to grownups and the different pace is throwing him and he is not being patient enough on most fronts and then not firm enough in a few places. It will work itself out, but in the mean time they are all frustrated. But it is good for him to see what I do all day.
I'm feeling a little done today. I'm pretty uncomfy. My gallbladder was giving me trouble this morning, I'm kind of short of breath, and I can't really stand for long periods of time. I crawled back into bed after eating breakfast an dozed off for a little while. I'm trying to look at things from a positive perspective. MW thought baby was probably averaged sized, but felt long and skinny. Maybe I'm still pregnant because the baby needs to get a little fatter. That's okay. If I can just think about like that, then I can deal with being uncomfortable AND not being able to do anything useful, maybe. I have so much to do, that at least if I could work at it, I wouldn't mind the delay in baby!