I've been really sad to find so many online forums that concentrate on the "Primal Wound" aspect of adoption (which I think is utter rubbish), and I had to come back to mothering to share my experience with hopefully some prospective adoptive parents or new adoptive parents or even adoptees.
I have always known that I am adopted, and I have always been really happy about it. I was adopted at two days old, by parents who have always adored me. My mother had 8 miscarriages before my adoption, and she wanted so desperately to have a child. She had "so much love to give," and I always felt so lucky to be the recipient of that love.
I've never given the bio mom much thought- other than to be really thankful that she gave me up.
Cut to 40 years later, and some contact from the bio family. I had never researched adoption prior to this, and I was really surprised by what I found- so much anger and animosity on adoption forums, so much talk about what people "don't" have and what they think they want.
In my experience, the contact from the bio family was not welcome, and not anything that completes me as a person. I have zero desire for contact, no need to include these people in my life, and I have had to gently let them know.
I am shocked by the anti-adoption sentiment online over adoption. There is positive to be found, but I had to look hard. My guess is that the happy ones, like me, just don't normally go searching online. The only reason I did this past couple of weeks was to try and figure out what I was feeling and talk about my thoughts and feelings regarding my bio family contacting me recently. It felt so wrong- and I wanted support from those who had "been there".
Anyway, that's my story. I am a very very happy adoptee. Nothing is missing in my life, and I don't want contact with the bio family. Anyone else out there that feels this way, or am I an island online? LOL I know many people in person who feel this way, but sadly have not been able to chat with them much recently.
I hope my story, as a 40 year old adult adoptee, helps those who are interested in adoption and/or about to adopt.