Today was day 8 of homeschooling. I realize this is a little early to declare the whole thing a failure, but boy do I feel that way right now. DD is 7 in the second grade. All last year she begged to be homeschooled, my DH was very in favor of it, and truthfully there are a lot of reasons why it should be a good fit for our family, except - I hate it. There, I've said it. I have felt stressed to my limit this past week and I am just unhappy right now. The stress is primarily due to feeling like I'm not doing enough, and realizing that my plan to just put my own curriculum together was not a good idea - even with all the research I've done when I sit down to plan I can't come up with enough to keep her busy, and I'm just not creative enough to come up with lessons that really engage her. I so wanted to be a relaxed, interest led unschool-ish homeschooler, but i can't. Trying to be that person is giving me panic attacks. And really, after a year at a very structured, rigorous school DD can't be that kind of learner right now. We both obviously need more structure and routine, at least to begin with.
So to try to improve this situation, I decided to order a curriculum - Moving Beyond the Page. To be honest, the only thing that is keeping me going right now is knowing that soon it will arrive and I will have something telling me what to do. I have to believe this will enable me to relax a little and learn to enjoy homeschooling, because right now my stress and unhappiness are making that impossible. I am horrible to live with right now, I have no patience with my kids - and I only have 2! - my DH is getting irritated with my perpetual bad mood, and worst of all, I cannot stand having people in my face all day long!!!! DH works from home most of the time, mother's day out hasn't started yet for my 2yo and my 7yo's attitude could use some improvement. I need time by myself, and I do get some, but it never seems like enough. I feel like I've made a huge mistake, like I have the wrong personality for this and that I was talked into it against my better judgement (this is completely untrue, btw, and unfair to my DD and DH - but it's how I feel right now.)
Somebody please tell me it gets better, that this level of doubt can be overcome. I really have no other schooling options for this year, I have to make it work and I will do whatever it takes. Did anyone out there start out miserable but grow to love homeschooling? Is it just a matter of finding what works for us? Anyone using MBtP and liking (or not liking) it?