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Depression or PMS or what??? Heeeelp! - Page 2

post #21 of 26

One other thing I thought of, since she eats healthy and she is homeschooled: does she have a journal she can write in to help her work through and maybe organize her thoughts? Even when I'm not in therapy (it sometimes helps to show an occasional journal entry to the therapist and talk about it), it helps me. Mari McCarthy has some helpful exercises, and Mary Ellen Copelend's Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) program can be helpful too.

http://www.createwritenow.com - Mari McCarthy

http://www.mentalhealthrecovery.com/wrap/  If you are interested in WRAP, I am a WRAP Facilitator (which means I can help you write your own WRAP) and if you send me a private message I'll help you out at no charge. (If you're not interested, that's fine too of course! I just wanted to give you the option.)

post #22 of 26

Oh good. She is not suicidal.


Wow mama this has been going on for a while. Yikes. She really NEEDS to see a therapist. She might even need some medication to get through this. If talk or CBT wont work. If she is anything like my dd then she might find WRAP daunting. My dd has a hard time with those emotions. It just goes through her body and shuts her down. Something it seems like what your dd is going through. So what we are going to do is first get dd in a martial arts program to be able to deal with her feelings through exercise (dd meditates and hates competitive sports so the Korean martial arts is perfect for her) and THEN get her into therapy. I have to fight my exh on this. 


Is she an introvert or extrovert? Does she have good friends she might like to hang out with more?


I have a suggestion. There is this magazine which has a very safe chat group. I’ll go and figure out the name of the magazine and it might be something your dd might enjoy. Reading the magazine and have others her age to talk to incognito. 

post #23 of 26

Michele, I read this and thought of you and your daughter:


post #24 of 26
Thread Starter 

Thank you guys so much for putting so much time into helping me and everyone else who is trying to learn about all this stuff. Mind boggling. :dizzy


I think it is very strong pms not just depression.


So I have been giving her Chinese Tradition Eastern Medicine tea but got new stuff just for depression (not pms) and she's been taking this new stuff for about 2 days. Also she and I went to a physcologist yesterday (which was $160.00 for 45 minutes).  I've been spending almost every second with her, and she likes that, she can't get enough of my time.  (hard to clean the house or go anything else).  She's journaled on her own and it's not fun to read.  :(

But seems to help her the most is yesterday she got her period.  She may have cramps a little and having to deal with pads etc but her mood is WAY better.  Her last period was 22 days before only and it's really strong bld flow.  So I'm hoping just pms and so therefore, it will not be a lifetime every day problem.


I'm trying to get friends to come over to hang out with her which seems to help a little.  There's few around.  So I'm digging up ppl from past and live far away, I'm desperate, I'll drive for an hour to pick up a kid and bring her over, then drive her home the next day.  Did that a couple days ago.  Worth it.  Not many friends when you homeschool.


post #25 of 26
Thread Starter 

oh and when she has a friend over, you'd Never know that she is depressed.  She's happy around them, then when they go, she's sad again.

For instance, check out the video her and her friend made when I took them to Victoria for the day.  This is the friend that's an hour away.

My daughter is the one wearing black with blond braids.



post #26 of 26

michele your video made me smile. even though my dd is 2 years younger i feel so 'connected' to you because our situation is sooooo similar including the cup song and black.


here is a reason why i still think you should see a counsellor. hopefully they will be cheaper than the psychologist. hopefully you can get someone your dd likes. 


dont be fooled by the happiness. so yes sometimes she is happy. but she still needs the talk. the point is not about tomorrow. it is about today. i feel like what children like this needs is a mentor. i have seen other kids go through this where a close elder would have been it. NOT a parent. but another elder. since i dont have that it will have to be a therapist. 


just someone ur dd could talk to. watch your dd. is she truly happy or do you sometimes see the light not reach her eyes. my dd is a great actress. at 3 she reminded me that just coz she doesnt cry at daycare and runs around, doesnt mean she isnt sad inside still. she just hides it. 


how can you hold on to this way of life. organizing friends? it  takes a lot of organizing and its not easy. you cant sustain what you are doing now. and what you are doing now is just delaying the issue. at some point she will be alone and she will be upset again. 


in my books drugs are drugs. whether they are natural or not. still drugs. no matter natural or not, they are chemicals and we have no idea how what else they are doing. the thing you KNOW is your dd's depression is situational. i KNOW that about my dd too. but whether it is situational or not, it still IS depression right now. my dd is an only - a dd who wanted siblings, an extrovert child - and so it makes it worse, along with personal issues. 


things will get worse as she grows up. it would be nice to get it off her shoulders. journaling is fantastic. its great that she can get it out. 


please forgive me if i come on too strongly. perhaps i am wrong in your dd's case. at least half of the middle and high school kids i know are in therapy. my bro wasnt and he killed himself. 


which is why i still tell parents all around me please take this seriously. not saying you aren't. and the reason why i am being so insistent is coz of what you say your dd has gone through.  i myself went thru it when i was going through a divorce. i myself KNEW it was situational. but i still needed help. i dont know how i would gone through the dark nights of the soul without help. i dont anymore but at that time i did. 


its been going on for 3 months. and its getting worse. i would rather go for talk therapy first, because it will give her another perspective in life and see how this all works out. but the key is finding the right councellor/therapist. someone who will see her for the next 5 or 6 years. 


what did the psychologist say? if he pushed drugs i'd be a little hesitant. i'd go for talk and then do drugs. but if i felt dd needed drugs i would never with hold that from her.

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