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Just about....

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 

We are separating. We haven't had a great marriage EVER, and now we are separating.

 

How does anyone transition from a stay at home mama/student to a working single mom? I'm scared.

post #2 of 5

So sorry you are going through this. I have just made the transition to single mom about 1 year ago and I was terrified also, but,  have to say I love it, but, sometimes miss the family life and having another adult here. The house is much quieter, there is less turmoil, less cooking, cleaning and laundry. I used to work part time when the kids were younger, but, transitioned to full time about 6 months before the divorce started. I remember it being daunting then because we worked practically the same hours and having someone else involved in your children's care is strange at first, but, it all works out. They have had some great experiences with some of the sitters we have had and the exposure to other people is good. How old are your children? Are you finished with school? It also depends on how flexible your job can be, if you have any family close by as well. :) 

post #3 of 5
Thread Starter 

As of right now, I don't have anyone that will be helping, childcare wise. I'm also not counting on child support, as we are planning 3 days/4 days. I'm actually getting a job, but it will be at his place of work. On the same shift. Yikes.

My kids are 9, 6,5,3, and 2.

 

I feel like an ass, separating from him. He tries, I try, it just never works. :( My doctor just gave me a prescription for xanax to help me cope.

Ugh.

post #4 of 5

How did you get to the decision? Why did you make the decision to leave just now? 
 

I am curious! 

post #5 of 5
I took a student job at the university in the university childcare center then was able to transition a full time job off campus once I had several months experience behind me. It is easiest to get a job when you already have one and student jobs are easy to get. I also applied for and got food stamps and daycare assistance to make ends meet. The Y in our area is amazing about financial assistance so that helps a lot and one year my DD did Headstart which provided four hours of preschool four days a week plus bussing on a preschool only bus all for free. In some areas they do full day programs and Early Headstart has programs also.

If you are making less or have the kids more you may get child support, you may be able to get alimony, and both of you will be responsible for child care costs at least while working. I wouldn't count that money until it comes though. I absolutely would not sign a decree that doesn't use the child support calculation from your state to determine percentages, doesn't specify every other year rights to the child tax claims. A judge is unlikely to accept the decree and sign it anyways. If you are both working out a decree you agree on just bring your financial info to the court clerk and they will do the calculation. If you made no money they will.probably calculate you at minimum wage.
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