(((Hugs))). It can be really hard in the beginning. Good for you & your babe that you're trying to get help!
I don't know any IBCLCs in New Jersey, but have a couple of ideas in case you don't get any suggestions here:
There's a place to out in your zip code & IBCLCs in your area will come up. Of course, these are all of them (so hospital based, private practice, etc.) and it won't tell you who will click w/ you, but it may be a start.
2. If you delivered at a hospital, the ibclc's there may be able to help, if you haven't tried them already ;-).
3. Lastly, La Leche League has many Leaders in NJ. Some Leaders do home visits. If you go to this website, it lists all the groups in NJ & then you can click on a group to see the contact info for a Leader. Usually moms are helped over the phone or in person at meetings, but like I said, some do home visits. http://www.llli.org/web/newjersey.html
Congratulations on your little one! I hope things get better for you both very soon!