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Cesarean Birth Recovery & Support Thread 10 (April/May 2004) - Page 7

post #121 of 202
Woo - Hoo! Congratulations, Kim. I'm soo jealous of you - I lurk too much to ever get my post count up there.

post #122 of 202

I am glad you decided to have your party here.

Let the wild rumpus start! :LOL
post #123 of 202
YAY Kim!!

I'm slightly over 4000 and I try and change my sr title every 1000 posts...but i like this one too much!

What is yours going to be???
post #124 of 202
Way to go Kim!
post #125 of 202
Thread Starter 
I was thinking Cesarean Queen.
post #126 of 202
Originally Posted by OnTheFence
I was thinking Cesarean Queen.
How 'bout Cesarean Goddess?
post #127 of 202

Are you allowed to use that word in public for the WHOLE board to see....

post #128 of 202

Woohoo onthefence! Way to go on 1000!

Okay, I've been reading that many of you are grieving the loss of natural childbirth. What advice do you have for me then, because it's my DH that's really grieving it? We went through Bradley and he was so psyched to be a big part of the birth experience. When we got to the c/b he refused to cut the cord b/c they had already cut it, and he wanted it to be the complete cord like in a vaginal birth.

I must admit that I am NOT grieving the loss of ncb...I was so relieved by the time I had the c/b that I would have taken any method to get the baby out just about. I was two weeks past due after having had a horrible pregnancy, throwing up multiple times every day, and I just wanted it to be over. I knew there was no way it was going to happen vaginally unless I was willing to keep going overdue. We found out D wasn't anywhere near proper birth positioning...how much longer should I have waited? My doula said maybe two more weeks and I said no way. Too scary for me and frankly I couldn't handle being pregnant one more day.

But now I feel that dh thinks I sold out, or at the very least was too "weak" to wait and see if things happened naturally. I know he didn't carry this baby or go through the hypermesis, but he was there for me tremendously, and I feel guilty because he's sad about it.

Anyway...that's my situation. (The reason this is coming up now is b/c dh promised me some jewelry when Darian was born, way before the c/b happened; then after the birth he backed out because I didn't deliver him, they "cut him out". I said forget the jewelry, just acknowledge what I went through!)
Thanks for reading my vent.
post #129 of 202
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by Henry's_Mamma
How 'bout Cesarean Goddess?

Thats it, I am going to do it!
post #130 of 202
Thread Starter 
Can someone tell me how to get my senior member name? help me....
post #131 of 202
I think it's just in the user CP- as you can see I haven't decided on mine yet. I like Cesarean Goddess, but I was thinking something that shows how you help women in need of c-sections, I just can't think. hmmm....
post #132 of 202
Originally Posted by OnTheFence
Thats it, I am going to do it!
Glad to help. Can't wait to see it!
post #133 of 202
You have to pm cynthia for your sr title....

Rach-- I'mnot sure what to say but it sounds like your dh is being a baby. I know he is disappointed but he is belittling your entire experience. He needs to just grow up. Nothing is going to change. My dh was disappointed too but after all you go through in pregnancy and childbirth (no matter how it happens) it is an amazing thing! I mean, sperm and egg meet...then BAM!! you have a little person! That is amazing in itself...who cares how baby got here. Would he feel the same way if you had had invitro or fertility treatments. I thought it was the end result that counted.

oops.... : I didn't mean to sound snippy....I just started typing and it came out.
post #134 of 202
Welcome and big hugs to the new people (mamasarah and bippity). I'm always amazed (and often saddened) by other women's birth stories...

Kinsey, big hugs to you (I'm kind of catching up on the past few pages of the thread, which I haven't read carefully). I guess I have a different take on your situation... you were *there* at your birth, you know what you went through--if you feel that your dh failed you, that's valid, and it's something you're going to have to process. I think it's totally normal to have a lot of mixed and/or bad feelings about cesareans and the contributions of all the players involved. In a lot of cases (yours included), we're talking about complicated, confusing, negative situations.

Let's all try to just be as supportive of each other as we can--where we're at in "digesting" our births, how we feel about them, etc. Kinsey makes a lot of insightful points about her birth experience; part of the reason she feels bad is that she feels like her C was unnecessary. That is totally valid, and a lot of women here feel that way (or feel that way in part). It makes me sad, but I honor your grief, Kinsey. Kim, I think you meant well, but what you offered what not what Kinsey needed, and she said so. I'm glad you guys worked out a truce.

Rach, I agree with Megan--your dh is being a baby! Yeah, he lost out on the experience, but *you* were the one who was cut. What you both experienced was still a birth; it just wasn't a birth that met your prior expectations (can happen with a V birth, too). Jeez... if *men* could experience pregnancy and childbirth, I think they'd be more supportive and respectful (I say this to everyone else who has complained about their dh recently, too).

And here's an update (for Amy and everyone else ). I haven't had my baby yet. I've had several rounds (4?) of increasingly "serious" contractions over the last week or so. In each round, the contrax are closer together, longer, stronger, more painful. Each time, I've thought, "This is it," and it's been kind of exciting (because I never experienced labor with ds), but they end after several hours. My ob has been great--she feels like it's a good sign, that my body is really just warming up, and one of these times, I'll actually go into "real" labor, that this is a gentle way for my body to prepare. I'm more dilated and effaced than I ever was with ds (which was zero!), and the baby is in a great position, and slowly grinding its way downward , which is also kind of exciting. Whatever happens, it has been wonderful to experience what I've experienced so far, because it's all so new! Anyway, I'm also 5 days past my due date. My dh and doula seem a little impatient, but fortunately, my ob is not at all and has been really great. We have not discussed "what next" at all (in part because I could just go into labor without any nudging, and in part because she feels like I'm very healthy and don't need to be overly concerned about the calendar yet). I think if I make it into next week without going into labor, I will consider having my membranes stripped, and if that doesn't work, a few days later maybe AROM. As I told dh, if my waters break and I don't go into labor, I have a limited amount of time in which to have the baby (and a limited number of options to try to get labor going before having to have a repeat C), whereas with the sac intact, I have a lot more time on the calendar for my body to continue doing its thing itself. Anyway, more than you probably wanted to know.
post #135 of 202
Thread Starter 
hi all

just wanted to bump this up.
post #136 of 202
OTF- when is your senior name coming? I realized that Cesarean Goddess is just perfect- like someone you seek help from when having a cesarean (or after one) --- it takes me a minute sometimes :LOL.
post #137 of 202
Hi Mamas!

First I have to say I didn't get to read all of your stories and responses because I only have a few minutes (my 22 month old is taking a little snooze but who knows how long it'll last- LOL)

Anyway, I wanted to post about my upcoming C-section but was afraid to on Mothering because I have had too many mamas yell at me (or what feels like yelling) when I mention C-section. So, thank you so much for this thread! (And please, if you have anything negative to say about my c-section decision...please keep it to yourself...)

Just a little history, I had my twins by emergency section at 31 weeks when Baby A's heart flatlined and they had to take them out immediatly. It took a little longer than they hoped and because of the lack of oxygen he has mild Cerebral Palsey (but of course could have been a lot worse so I am forever thankful to those doctors).

My second birth was a planned C-section because I was afraid of V-Bac (after doing tons of research). Sam was over 10 pounds and over 2 weeks early... a big guy I don't regret the decision but I had a really hard recovery! I was in so much pain and could barely get around for almost a month and I am petrified that will happen again this time.

This one is another planned section and I am so scared that I will have another hard recovery! I nurse my babies exclusevely and right after their birth and I'm so afraid of the recovery. Does anyone have any hints to help with the recovery? They didn't let me walk around until the next day and I know I had terrible gas pain (excuse if TMI) but I'm not sure how to make sure that doesn't happen again. After my twins' section I was up and moving to take care of my premies and don't remember a hard recovery but that could be because I went into mother mode with sick babies?

Anyway, thank you so much for any suggestions or support you can offer. I really do dream about having an unassisted birth but because of my own health and my Vbac scares I am doing another section. But I figure as long as my baby is born healthy I guess there is no reason I should get depressed about having a section, right? Ok, anyway...I'm trying to tell myself that
post #138 of 202
AlliRose & Kinsey (that's the only posts I've been able to read so far... ). I'm so moved by your experiences that I had to stop reading Alli's because I'm crying and post something. Thank you all for sharing your experience with us... I have to get the tears out of my eyes and go get my 22 month old who I hear decided not to nap afterall I'll continue reading all the other section stories when my kiddies allow me more free time
post #139 of 202
Mommy2three - They wouldn't let you walk around until the next day??! To me, that's crazy! I think you need to get up and start moving as soon as you can. Not saying do aerobics, or anything crazy, but it's really soo much easier a recovery if you can start moving early.

When I had DS, I was walking w/in an hour of being "released" from recovery (which wasn't until about 1.5-2 hours after the c. GRRRR. That's a different story). I kept walking (every three hours, down to the NICU and back) until, well, now!

I really think that all that walking, while probably a bit more than I should have been doing, helped me avoid stiffening up and getting extremely sore.

Oh yeah, when I started trying to nurse DS, everyone (seriously, EVERYONE - the NICU nurses, my mom, my recovery nurses, the "LC") insisted that I HAD to have a pillow on my belly for my "comfort". It took me a while to realize that it was really hurting me! It took even longer for me to find my voice and tell everyone that I REALLY didn't need that dam* pillow. (Unfortunately, I'm not kidding - the LC stood there and argued w/me : ). Some women love pillows/Boppys, but I was one of the ones who just did better w/out it. If you need it, great, but if it hurts, try w/out. I was able to just hold DS in my arms w/no pressure on my belly, and it worked wonderfully.

I hope everything goes well for you.

post #140 of 202
Thread Starter 
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