Cesarean Birth Recovery & Support Thread 10 (April/May 2004) - Page 2

[goodcents]

Originally Posted by kinsey43

You know, if only they'd helped me onto hands and knees.

If i was there - I would have helped you onto your hands and knees. Healing and love vibes to you.

My only contribution to this conversation comes from the book by Pamela England. She suggests a language change.

Dont call it a cesearan section - the word section....well it has the power to "section" you off from your birth.

Call is a cesearan birth.

Praying for my SIL right now who just gave birth today via cesearan in Egypt, I believe fully anestized. And joy joy - her friends sent me a picture saying "Look - you get to see the baby before the mother"

[goodcents]

Originally Posted by AllieRose

I know mine was necessary, I’m just disappointed and feel like a failure as a woman.

a quiet reminder of how fabulously your little womanly body provided a beautiful being to the earth. you did a wonderful job, and nurturing a living being for 9 months is truly an accomplishment. you did not fail - imagine your child - I hear nothing but "MOMMY YOU DID GREAT!"

Originally Posted by AllieRose

Plus I feel like I’ve let down the home birth community by needing a hospital transport and ultimately a c-section.

You did not let anyone down. You tried as hard as you could for as long as you could. You deserve a home-birthing trophy - what an amazing job, I am stunned. I would have collapsed and gave in long long long before you.

Originally Posted by AllieRose

Lastly, I was told that due to the damage to my pelvic floor, I’m not a candidate for a VBAC so I’ll have to have a c-section again if I get pregnant and I’m afraid of it, but I really want more babies so this is a struggle.

Please please read Birthing From Within by Pamela England. It really has some wonderful excercises in it to work through traumatic births. It can really clear the space to get over the fear and create the best possible birth experience in the future.

Healing, soft, squishy love vibes....

[its_our_family]

A friend of mine had her c/b 10 days before mine. They found out yesterday that their son is completely deaf. She seems to be doing good. They will see when he about 1 if cochlear implants are an option.

I also had a friend have a baby on Tuesday. The baby was induced, she is a first time mom so I was a little concerned, for size (not a reason you like to hear) He was 9lbs 15oz nad 22 inches long! He was a big boy!! But she did great and is doing great her dh was fired from the church he was at the 8 days before Brayden was born )

[AllieRose]

Thank you all for your support. I’ll definitely pick up a copy of Birthing from Within, thanks for the suggestion. Hopefully it’ll help. I saw a therapist after the birth and that helped a lot.

Kim, the pelvic floor problems thankfully have not resulted in any incontinence issues. The main problem is sex. It’s impossible. The pain is unbearable. What’s happened is the muscles in my vaginal canal are all broken, so the sphincter muscle and others behind it fall forward and create a u-turn in my vagina causing extremely painful sex. I’ve been dutifully doing my kegal exercises and am seeing some improvement. The doctor said that the muscles may never go back to normal, what I have to do is train the muscles that are falling forward to go back. Also, everything in there was sort of scraped, like the worst rug burn imaginable so any friction in there is awful. Just awful. Luckily I have the most patient and supportive DH ever who is totally willing to work with me and wait and just try to help me heal. I’m seeing a different doctor next week, one that specializes in pelvic floor reconstruction so we’ll see what he has to say.

Thanks again. It’s really nice to have a place to process all this.

Allie

[Henry's_Mamma]

NAK so short ... Allie and . You've come to the right place. Your story is courageous and commendable. You birthed a beautiful baby under extraordinary circumstances. Many of us are amazed at how strong you were to endure all you did for as long as you did -- I'm in awe mama!

Feel free to talk and vent and cry and heal with us.

[KKmama]

Allie, I'm really sorry for what you went through. It sounds horrendous. This *is* the place to hear about others' cesareans--I think everyone who's been here for a while has shared their birth stories at some point... maybe some people will re-post, or you can look back through the previous 9 threads? Seriously, there's some good reading in there... birth stories, birth plans, etc.

You didn't let down the homebirth community! Your dd's birth is something *you* own, not them! You had a *really* long labor...

There are also some women here who had pretty yucky cesareans and then went on to have repeat Cs which were much, much better (and healing)... a repeat C doesn't have to be like your dd's birth! Yeah, talking about your feelings and fears helps a lot...

Justine, I'm all with you on the semantics... I never call it a "section"--I'm not a grapefruit! It *is* a birth, for better or for worse.

I'm still hanging out at not quite 39 wks...

[rainbowmoon]

Allie- welcome mama! you are one strong mama, you did not fail, just look at your baby and know that.

[wrensmom]

Hi to all, I wold like to post my birth story here as well. I've joined in on the dicussions before but never gave my birth story. I resonate with Kinsey and Allie's stories so I thought it was a good time to share mine. My dd will be one next month and I'm definately still processing her birth.
I woke up on Saturday morn. with lots of pink tinged mucus. I was having mild somewhat irregular contractions and just went about my day. My mom, sister and nephew were here and my dh and I made a big ole' breakfast for everyone. Continued to contracted throughout the morning. I was walking (which was hard since my feet were SOOO swollen) and even went to the farmer's market. The contractions really picked up around noonish. DH and I went to the co-op for snacks for our labor team and headed home. The midwife came at about 2:30 and checked me. I was six cm!.
So we started to get things ready for the birth. I got into our labor tub about 45 minutes later and sat down. I was checked again around 4:30 and was at 8cm but the baby was still high. My mom offered to make coffee for the midwives but they declined saying they thought we would be having a baby soon. I'm not sure what time they checked me again but it was with my insistence. I was still 8cm, the babe was high and also op. SO out of the tub. I was lunging and squatting (as best as I could with terribly swollen legs and feet). At next check, the babe was getting caput and my cervix swelling. My midwives gave my homepathics to remedy both of these situations. The medicine was effective. My midwife was really wanting to break my water to see if the babe would come down. I was hesistant to have her do this since my contractions were already pretty strong and I wanted the least amount of interventions. She asked several times and I finally agreed. The bag was broke and it didn't help the babe come down. I labored awhile longer several hours of so and still no progress. Around 9:30 the midwives wanted my to push and she was going to try and pull the cervix over the babes head. No luck. She had told me that if this didn't work that she wanted to transfer me to the hospital. I asked for a little more time at home. Finally at around 10:00 pm they made the call to transfer. Accordingly to my mom the next hour was chaotic. The midwife had been talking to everyone else about a possible transfer for a couple of hours. However, no one had done anything to prepare for it. (Hindsight, I should of had a hospital bag packed and a hospital plan). So, things were crazy as everyone prepared to leave. She was watching my nephew and said that no one was with me. My midwife helped me start to get dressed and I fininshed the job and started walking out the door myself. We choose to transfer to a hospital 40 min away because that is where the midwife had priviledges vs. the one 5 min away where she didn't. (hindsight, I should have gone to the closer one for my sake and my families sake). SO at 11:00 it was a long transfer and then the hospital wouldn't let go to the L&D floor until I answered all these insurance questions. Finally, I made it to the floor. The midwives wanted to give me an epidural to see if my uterus would relax and help the baby come down. Plus, they wnated to make sure my contractions were effective.
Once we were in the hospital, I lost my groove. I was handling my pain at home so well. At the hospital, my support team ended up standing along the wall while I gripped the bed and stared at the monitor. The nurse came in and asked if I wanted fentanyl for the pain. I said yes, but what I really wanted to ask was how much longer until the ansthesologist would be here for the epidural. No one else thought to ask this either. My dh asked "Are you sure you want this"? I said yes but I know I could have been persuaded if they tried a little harder. That said, the medicatioin didn't even TOUCH my pain.
I got my epidural and that was heaven. I would go natural again but I was ready for some pain relief. The doc came in and said they would let me labor for half an hour to see if I would dilate. Mean while he stood in the room and commented on how big my baby looked and wondered if it was due to gestational diabetes. Insinuated that I some how caused this huge baby from eating the wrong things. Even if he thought that he should have taken it outside of my room. Especially since they were already talking about a c-section if things didn't improve.
So I labored for another half hour with my dh by my side. I knew I going to have a c-section at this point. I could see that the babe's heart rate was decelerated with each contraction. We had been in active labor since 4:30PM and it was now 2:00 am.
So we had the section. DH came in and watched the surgery. I was strapped down and the babe was whisked away after the delivery even though she was fine. 8-9 apgars. She was really stuck in there. I could feel them pulling and tugging. She was 9'13" and 22 inches long born at 2:44 am. I'm 5'3" so that was a big baby for me. I could tell afterwards she was acynclitic cause she had an indentation on her head. We didn't get her placenta.
Wow, this is getting long. I have lots of things that I wish I would have done differently. I'm saddened 'cause I felt like no one in my support team really advocated for me. My mom feels especially guilty 'cause she wanted to say something but didn't because she was afraid she was interferring. On the good side, my baby nursed fabulously and the nurses respected my wishes that she not get the ethromycin or the hep b shot. Not to mention we are both alive and healthy. At first, I needed to believe my c-section was necessary, now I'm not so sure. Whew, I'll stop now.

[Henry's_Mamma]

Originally Posted by wrensmom

Once we were in the hospital, I lost my groove. I was handling my pain at home so well.

I've noticed variations on this theme, both here and with others I've talked to IRL. I was handling my contractions pretty well while at home (and even in the car), but once I got to the hospital, I just couldn't stay focused.

Originally Posted by wrensmom

At first, I needed to believe my c-section was necessary, now I'm not so sure.

I totally understand this statement, as I've more or less said it to myself a number of times. As I'm still struggling with understanding my feelings, I have no words of wisdom. Just know you're not alone.

Thanks for sharing your story.

[tammylc]

It's a Baby!

Liam Benjamin McGlohon
April 26, 2004
12:18 pm
7 lbs, 10 oz
21 inches

http://public.fotki.com/tammylc/liam1/

Delivered via scheduled c-section when it became clear that he really preferred his head up top near mom's heart, and not down in the birth canal where it's supposed to be.

Mom and baby are home and doing very well. Better, in fact, than I expected to be both, both emotionally and physically. Especially now that we've got a handle on our nursing issues. Speaking of which, I think it's time to wake up my sleepy little boy for his dinner... More later.

[wrensmom]

What a sweet adorable little guy!!!!! Congratulations~!

[OnTheFence]

Originally Posted by tammylc

It's a Baby!

Liam Benjamin McGlohon
April 26, 2004
12:18 pm
7 lbs, 10 oz
21 inches

http://public.fotki.com/tammylc/liam1/

Delivered via scheduled c-section when it became clear that he really preferred his head up top near mom's heart, and not down in the birth canal where it's supposed to be.

Mom and baby are home and doing very well. Better, in fact, than I expected to be both, both emotionally and physically. Especially now that we've got a handle on our nursing issues. Speaking of which, I think it's time to wake up my sleepy little boy for his dinner... More later.

Tammy your baby is beautiful and he has a nice head too. <wink> Tammy you also look terrific! Were those pics taken right after your csection? Wow you are looking so great, wide eyed and bushy tailed and so does you new baby boy! Can't wait to hear more!!

[LisaG]

Pelvic Floor work

Hi ladies,

Allie - my heart goes out to you for all the hard work you put into birthing your babe. I'm sorry it wasn't an easier road for you .

I wanted to mention to you that you might want to look into having a health care professional do internal (vaginal) pelvic floor work to help with the healing of your pelvic floor. I have a very good friend who is a PT and she took a course about a year ago in this and she has had some amazing results helping women with pelvic floor issues. If you were anywhere around Palm Beach, FL I would send you to her in a heart beat. Even if you do end up having some kind of surgical correction, I think this work could really make a difference in helping things rebalance post-surgery.

If you would like me to find some resources for you, I'd be happy to help.

Take care,
LisaG

[Henry's_Mamma]

Tammy -- Congrats! Liam is beautiful! Enjoy your babymoon!

[AllieRose]

Wrensmom - I cried reading your story. I really relate to it. I didn’t have a hospital bag packed either. We didn’t have a camera or anything when our daughter was born. It was awful being in a hospital where I didn’t know anyone and didn’t have any of my own things. I was so sad not to have a camera. Luckily we were able to get the placenta to take home though. My dd was 9 pounds 5 ounces, which was real big for me since I’m 5 feet tall. I can’t believe dd will be 1 year next month!

Congratulations Tammy!

I just want to thank everyone for sharing their stories and for the support. I’ll try to find some of the old threads so I can read some more.

Allie

[Al Dente]

CONGRATS TAMMY!! He is beautiful.

to AllieRose and WrensMom. Your stories touched me in so many ways. I hope you can both find peace.

AllieRose you mentioned that you were searching for old threads for birth stories. Here is mine-just enter the password angel at the prompt.

http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/f/firstangel/

Can't believe he's already 3 wks old! Time flies...
Rachel

[bwylde]

Congratulations TammY! What a gorgeous little man

I'm glad to hear you're doing good, especially with nursing

[OnTheFence]

Wrensmom,

I just got the opportunity to really read your birth story. Wow! I can't believe you lasted as long as you did either. From reading what you wrote I believe your csection was necessary. It just seems that maybe your baby was stuck in there, for whatever reason. It does seem like the dr. acted a bit like a jerk though. Did they give you a reason after surgery for why they believed she didn't come on out vaginally? Jack was hard to get out during my csection, they had to use a vacuum extractor to get him out after they pushed and pulled and failed to dislodge him.

Fast healing and peace to you~!

[loftmama]

Hi everyone. 2 c-section mama here, after failed VBAC attempt. Wait - make that a successful attempt, but a failed VBAC. Anyway...

ITA with everyone about the book by Pam England. It's awesome.

On the Fence, I have a question for you. For your next planned CB, will you wait until you go into labor? What I mean is: I've been thinking a lot about the possibility of having another baby. I've been told I need to have another CB. I've been wondering if I could plan everything except the date. Does that make sense? I enjoyed not knowing when the baby would come, waiting for labor, and my early labor. I was so happy, I cried. (Okay, part of the crying was b/c I really believed I would be having a successful natural VBAC. Anyway...) So, what do you think? Can you plan a CB, but wait till you go into labor?

Also, I totally believed my 1st CB was unnecessary. After my second CB, now I believe the 1st one was as well as the second. Both my boys have identical markings/scars on their foreheads between their eyebrows. Since my midwives and doula thought there was something physical blocking the entry to my mid-pelvis, I've been wondering if the markings on their foreheads are from the blockage. Maybe it's scar tissue from my many car accidents? Maybe there's a bone spur???

Does anyone know anything about getting an x-ray done of the pelvis and how that works? I really want to find out if there is something physical blocking the entry. I just don't know if that's possible. Then again... maybe it's something I don't want to know...

BTW, I'm impressed with On The Fence going to counseling. I've wondered about that. I still get really, deeply sad. During yoga the other night, my body felt so open afterwards and I kept wondering if I could've delivered naturally had I been doing yoga for years and years and years. I started fantasizing about a natural birth again. Then I cried. Cyclical. Predictable. As they say in Mexico, Ni Modo. (Oh, Well)

[OnTheFence]

Right now, if I have another baby I am leaning towards a planned csection, including picking the date. I believe from my reading that going into labor before is riskier for maternal and neonatal outcomes and since I have difficult pregnancies and trouble concieving, I do not see myself taking chances.

Also, you mention both kids had similar scars, and you believed it had something to do with car accidents. I dated a man whose cousin was in a very bad car accident and her children were born with marks on them from where one of the bones was broke in there and how it had grown back. Her doctors recommended csections before she ever had children. She actually gave birth to one vaginally but she said it was like being ripped apart down there and she had a long recovery so she had a csection the next time.