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Who made the circumcision decision for your child? - Page 2

Poll Results: who made the circumcision ( or not circumcision) decision for your child?

This is a multiple choice poll
  • 62% (199)
    My partner and I both did
  • 22% (72)
    I did
  • 8% (26)
    My partner did
  • 1% (4)
    Family member(s) helped
  • 1% (6)
    the doctor helped with decision
  • 4% (13)
    Other
320 Total Votes  
post #21 of 104
7/25/02 at 4:10am

Both

That's hard to answer because I knew from when I was about 10 and learned what circ. was that I wouldn't do it. DH didn't even know what it was which could have been a recipe for disaster (he's VERY opinionated!) except that he was born in Korea and they don't do it. So he was intact and very apalled that people actually do something like that. I think he would have personally beheaded anyone who tried to do that to his son's penis. *sigh* I knew there was a reason I married him LOL

Katie
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post #22 of 104
7/25/02 at 10:33am
familyman, I'm with you...I prefer intact, whole, or natural to uncirc'ed. IMO, using the term "uncirc'ed" is like saying somebody is "unsick" when they're healthy. KWIM?

Love, Jolene
post #23 of 104
7/30/02 at 5:32pm
DP is intact and even were he not, it is something that I would never have considered doing. What is there to decide?

<<me and my two boys like to call it "intact". uncirc sounds like we are without when we are definatly with. when you have something of value, dont you usually keep it wrapped?>>

LOL!

I agree completely with you, 'familyman.'
We use 'whole, intact & natural' and I encourage everyone to do so.
I once encountered a woman who took great offense at the word 'intact' arguing that her circumcised son was intact!

Your comment that the word 'uncircumcised' sounds like one is 'without' when they are 'definitely with' is spot on.
Imagine how the unquestioning types would view a baby referred to as "un-whole, not-intact and unnatural" (instead of 'circumcised')?

Maybe a humorous approach could make some inroads, much like "So That's What They're For!" does with breastfeeding.

Can you imagine a public-service campaign with comedians (and comediennes) talking about the benefits of being whole, intact and natural?
post #24 of 104
7/30/02 at 10:11pm
When I was pregnant with my second, I found this really cool magazine called Mothering on the newstand at a Wild Oats. On the cover was a baby boy, a nd the caption was "A Case against Circumcision". That opened my eyes and I shared what I read with my dh. We decided that being intact was the way to go. We both mourned alittle for his loss. And that was the first time I noticed his scar.

I figure if your born with something then it has a purpose
post #25 of 104
8/6/02 at 3:21pm
Our son is intact. My husband is circ'd and wanted our son to be circ'd as well. I tried to discuss it with dh while I was pregnant, but it never turned into much of a discussion. I knew it needed to be resolved, but when the baby was born the doctor asked if he would be circ'd or not and my husband said Yes and I said No. It came up a few times after that, but we never really truly got into the discussion and our son stayed intact. I figure if I wouldn't pierce my baby daughter's ears why in the world would I cut off part of my son's body? That's not my decision to make, besides I firmly believe that evolution is a heck of a lot 'smarter' than any one person. It's made to work that way...don't mess with it. That firm belief got me through natural childbirth. The less you fiddle with things, the better!
post #26 of 104
8/13/02 at 7:56pm
I responded "other" because initially, dh left it up to me, and I was going to do it for the typical reason- dh is circ'd, so he wanted his son to look like him, etc. Well, I didn't actually "decide" until the doctor was actually getting ready to scrub up, and the nurse came in to take him. I looked at my husband, and my parents (my mom or dad didn't want me to circumcise him) Go mom!!! Go Dad!!! And I asked the nurse what happens. When she explained about the procedure, and how they strap him down and he'll cry because of that, i thought...what about the PAIN? And I asked, "is it too late to change my mind?" And she replied, "no honey, it's too late when it's done" So I told her we would not be circumcising. And she wasa ok with that. So the nurse kind of helped me make the final decision.

I am so glad that I did not go through with the circumcision!! After researching circumsion after I had him, I became more aware that I could not think of ANY reason to circumcise. And that baby boys must be born with a foreskin for a reason, as girls are born they way they are for a reason. And here I was with a beautiful baby, perfect in every way, and I could not have someone hurt him like that. And though I wasn't doing the procedure, I couldn't be part of that. I did a bit of research before he was born, but much more after he was born!!!

post #27 of 104
8/16/02 at 8:58pm
We both did!
post #28 of 104
8/16/02 at 11:16pm
I have come so far on this topic! Like breastfeeding, co-sleeping, slinging, gentle discipline, etc., becoming a mommy has opened my eyes!

Growing up in my little naive sheltered world, I never even knew about circ! By the time I first saw a penis (circ'd), I thought that's what they all looked like - naturally. Then I found out about the real thing, and I was not amused. "No way would I let my baby go uncirc'd!". Then in my 30's I dated an uncirc'd guy - I didn't mind, but still thought I'd circ any sons I had.
Fast forward 10 years to being preggo with DS and the lovely world of the internet and all it's info. I researched circ, and how it was unnecessary, and the pain, and the complications, and all the nerve endings being chopped off. "No way would I let anyone circ MY son!" I shudder at the thought!! My partner didn't care, he is circ'd. He asked what to tell DS when he asks about why they are different, and I said we'll just tell him the truth. When I hear women say they circ so their sons look like their dads I want to smack them. What if the dad has blond hair and the son has brown hair? What if the dad is missing an arm? Do they amputate the son's arm? Why does a son's penis have to "look" like his dad's? I just don't get it. But then I don't get it when people name their sons "Junior" either, LOL.
Anyway, I told Daddy-O that no way are we circ'ing, and he said fine, and that was it. And he now proudly tells anyone and everyone that DS is not circ'd and why I wouldn't do it.
Melanie
post #29 of 104
8/19/02 at 6:55pm
good for you, Shanleysmama! You also have a point- if dad was an amputee, would we amputate our sons, too?

We need bumper stickers- proud parents of Uncircumcised sons!!!! :LOL

or, whole, or natural...


Francine
post #30 of 104
10/25/02 at 2:44pm
I shouldn't have clicked on this poll...... I did not want to circ my son. DH did. I showed him literature, links, books, pictures and we fought alot . In our marraige, I usually make the parenting decisions b/c I do the research etc. This issue was so different. In the end, I let him win. I held my baby boy as he was circumcised and I will regret it until my last day. I will not have any more children because I do not want to go through that again. I have seen some of you post that you would leave a husband over this. He is the father of my children and we are a happy family. This is a sadness I will hold forever.
post #31 of 104
10/26/02 at 12:45am
My sister actually was the one that first started to inform me about circ(my nephew is intact). Then I got preg for the first time and read some on it and decided no way. We had a girl that time. Oh yea I discussed all the info I had read with my dh and he agreed we shouldn't do it. 4.5 years after dd we had our son and he is intact. Now I realize it was never our choice anyway.
post #32 of 104
10/26/02 at 3:04pm
All of the male members in both sides of our families have been uncircumcised for as many generations down the male-side lineage as we can reasonably figure. None of them have ever had problems with it. Dh is perfectly happy uncircumcised (as I am sure almost all uncircumcised men are). It was pretty much a null point for us.

I did, though, have a rather unsubstantiated fear that when I gave birth the hospital would circumcise my son without my permission. I had this fear because unlike my first, I was delivering in a large hospital rather than in a small birth center. It was all so clinical that I was frightened that things would just happen without my consent.

I never let my son out of my view while I was there. The nurse brought me the "circumcision paperwork" and I said no, so she went away, and then came back to talk about "arranging the circumcision" at which point I actually yelled at her "I DON'T WANT HIM MUTILATED!!!" because she was actually substantiating this fear of mine.

Anyway, enough of my weird story that probably doesn't belong in this post anyway.
post #33 of 104
10/29/02 at 2:34am
I'm so glad you yelled at that idiot nurse, nikirj!! good for you!!

If this happened more often, med. professionals would think twice before walking in the room expecting to get that stuff signed...."is she gonna go ballistic on me this time?"

HA!

Lots of hugs to you and your kids....
post #34 of 104
10/29/02 at 9:07am
javamama, I'm so sorry for your pain! Perhaps you could turn it into a positive by speaking out to others?

I notice you're in Utah--and I'm starting to think I'm the only one in Utah with an intact son!! LOL, but seriously, I've found a lot of , "Yes, I circ'd my son, but I regret it....." in Utah, but I've only actually found ONE PERSON who did not circ her son!! If you could help me find more, I'd appreciate it!!


Anyway, at my son's 2-week checkup, the ped asked, "How is his penis healing?" Both dh and I busted up laughing, and my dh said, "You know, doc, it healed so well that he still actually has his foreskin!"

Isn't there some irony there? Like, if the doc actually cared about the health of his penis, he wouldn't have suggested a circ in the first place?
post #35 of 104
10/29/02 at 9:13am
Quote:
Originally posted by rubylark
familyman, I'm with you...I prefer intact, whole, or natural to uncirc'ed. IMO, using the term "uncirc'ed" is like saying somebody is "unsick" when they're healthy. KWIM?

Love, Jolene
I always call my son intact. People give me blank stares. Then I have to explain what intact means.

BTW, I'm not "unmascectomized."

And.....if it were any other part of the body, (Like, "we're going to cut the top of your son's ear off") parents would be screaming bloody murder!!!!!

I love you guys!!! You understand me and make me feel sane!!!!!!
post #36 of 104
10/30/02 at 2:05am
Quote:
You understand me and make me feel sane!!!!!!
DITTO!!!!!! I couldn't agree more

I love this place.
post #37 of 104
11/6/02 at 4:42pm
Sadly my midwife AND doula tried to talk me INTO getting my sons penis mutilated! Their arguement was that when he gets really old and unable to care for himself that noone will clean it for him...........my son is intact. My husband is actually po'd that he, personally, was circed at birth - he feels robbed, I guess.
Tamara
post #38 of 104
11/6/02 at 4:50pm
[ This is a sadness I will hold forever. [/B][/QUOTE]

Javamama,
I'm sorry you have to hold onto this pain. Remember that you are a great mother and you do your best to make the right choices for your child. This one instance you cannot change, but think of the lifetime of love and knowledge you have to offer your son and the myriad of wonderful choices you have made for him!
Gently,
Tamara
post #39 of 104
11/10/02 at 12:49am
I am the proud new mamma of a boy; Alexander. Initially my dh wanted to have him circ'd (he is). However, after I showed him web sites and discussed the risks, etc. my dh was in total agreement with me. I am so happy that it was not made into a bigger issue (with my parents, inlaws) and that my dh made an educated decision. I am very proud of him; I have friends who's spouses would not even discuss the issue and demanded the circumicision. So glad that I am not married to someone like that.
post #40 of 104
11/10/02 at 7:01pm
That is sad- not even discussing the decision. Poor little boys.
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