Who made the circumcision decision for your child? - Page 3

[Jenmom]

we made the decision together...

he's intact. It took two pregnancies to convince DH that leaving his penis alone was the best thing to do. I believe our disagreement on the matter is why we had two wonderful girls before our precious boy.

[rubym]

I guess i made the decision because I had the info. It wasnt something that dh ever thought about. I didnt really have to convince him though. Now he is totally anti circ.

[MorgnsGrl]

I chose "we both did." In reality, I would have refused to let it be done even if DH had wanted it done, but that wasn't an issue for us because DH himself is intact. Thank goodness.

[USAmma]

We don't have a son (yet) but if/when we do, HE will make that decision for himself. Period.

My dh is not circed either, so we both are in full agreement to leave it alone because it would be our son's penis, not ours. Therefore it should be his decision.

BTW my dh and I are Hindu and in that faith you do not circumcise.

Darshani

[naotalba]

Before I got preg, dh was insistant. Dh is circ'ed, his son (from a previous relationship) is circ'ed, everybody's doing it, etc. Then a) I got preg, and b) I visited my newborn nephew in the hospital, and listened to my brother proudly tell me his son was about to get "snipped". I corrected his word choice (my understanding is "crushed" is more accurate). I didn't vomit. I'm proud of that.

When I got home, I told dh that if anyone aproaches our children's genitals with a knife, I'm calling the cops.

[XM]

It was a mutual decision for us. Mike is intact, I am intact, and our children will be too.

[Mommasgirls]

When I was pregnant my DH was very for it. I told him there is NO WAY anyone would do that to our child. I was prepared for a battle and let my midwives know. Luckily we have two girls. My DH said he wanted his son to look like him....grrrrrr...some things he just doesn't get. If we decide to have another child I am going to look for a videotape of the procedure and force him to watch it.He gets sick when the girls get a cut-that will change his mind.

Laura

[Christy1980]

if you go to
www.nocirc.org
then click "Books, Videos, and Websites"
then click "Videos"
there is a list of circumcision videos that you can buy


*****OR*****

Go to
Intact of Canada's web site to download a free video
http://www.intact.ca/vidphil.htm
You need speakers on your computer to fully understand what is going on. This video is quite graphic, but it definately gets the point across that circumcision is awful...I cried the first and only time I watched it, my pregnant cat jumped on the desk and began meowing and pawing at my speakers trying to comfort the baby

Things to notice in this video:
1) The doctor's description to the father of the boy about the "'look' he's going for," basically stating that this is a cosmetic procedure.
2) The green stuff put on the boy's penis is betadine...a disinfectant, NOT a pain reliever.
3) The father's nervous attitude and the doctor's jokes about how the anti-circumcision movement says circ is bad but "we know it hasn't hurt anybody, haha."
4) And the father's uneasy laughter at the doctor's jokes.

Yes, I remember all that from seeing this video ONE TIME because it hurt me so deeply and is now burned into my brain. TRUST ME, YOUR DH WILL NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CIRCUMCISION AGAIN AFTER SEEING THIS VIDEO! That's what usually convinces fathers not to circ their sons.

I hope this helps, and I don't mean to scare you, I just want to be honest with you so you aren't mad at me later for sugar-coating it or something.

in advance

[3boys4us]

I had to reply to this although I am probably late - none of mine are circ'd. It was my decision alone. Beleive it or not ( and I am SO lucky) dh had no opinion. Dh is circ'd but really didn;t fall for that "to be like daddy" attitude. When ds#1 was born, I couldn;t imagine having him circ'd. It looked painful and I didn;t even know about Mothering or AP parenting then. Dh didn;t even question it. It helped that our dr. was from the Carib. (and we were living there at the time) and few men there were circ'd. And beleive it or not (it is pretty amazing now that I think about it) no one ever said anything different to us. It never came up with the other two boys and to this day no one (kids, drs. grandparents etc..) has ever discussed it with us.

After reading some of your stories I can't beleive how lucky I am. I guess it did come up one time and that was when ds#1 was being potty trained. He was having a problem with a little "extra" drippage. Dh just told him to shake a little longer and that was it.

[JessicaS]

I decided. While we do not have a ds yet dh and I have discussed it as we are planning TTC in the next year. He has agreed to go with my decision.

[bunny's mama]

this was a BIG decision for dh and i, as we are jewish. i feel so strongly that i could never cause physical harm to my baby for any reason, and dh feels the same way BUT also feels equally strongly about the tenents of our faith. a serious difficult situation...perhaps the hardest decision we have ever made in our 12 year relationship.

in the end, the decision was made to keep any boys we may have intact. dh still doesn't feel "good" about it, but he understands (BTW, if we were not jewish, he would absolutely have no problem or thought whatsoever in keeping our sons intact, it is the spiritual aspect that causes him difficulty).

[Envision]

I don't have the parts...

I had really mixed feelings about it because many of the boys that my mom had babysat had horrible problems not being cir. so I didn't know what to do...

I finally told dh to make the decision because he has the parts and knows all the "male feelings" about it. I really didn't care either way and felt relieved that I didn't have to make the decision.
He decided to not get it done and of course, so far so good!!

Oils

[Xenogenesis]

A lot of the problems in not being circumcised stem from an innacurate knowledge of the intact penis.

People have been told by doctors and well-meaning Mothers, etc. to retract the foreskin to "clean" underneath when in fact this can cause a lot of problems.

The head of the penis is self-cleaning and should never be retracted except by the owner.

It can take up to about eighteen years for the foreskin to be able to retract.

[guestmama9924]

Re: Who made the circumcision decision for your child?

1 the Creator

2 the mommy

3 the daddy

4 the baby


My DH was convinced that the pregnancy was peaceful and the baby entered the world peacefully because the baby knew that no matter what, he or she would remain in tact. There was no energy to be decided based on gender.

[shanetedissac]

I have read all the research and listened to many people about circumcision. We circumcised our sons because my dh is Jewish. I know that there are many jews that don't do the ritual circumcision these day but my dh wished to do this tradition. The only way that I agreed was that we used a mohal (sp?). After watching my first son as his bris and then reading about what a circumcision was like for a baby boy at the hospital I don't understand why anyone would want to put their baby through that in the hospital. My son's bris (the surgical part) took no more than 30 seconds. I hear in the hospital it can take up to 20 minutes!!!! Other than the Jewish thing we would not have circumcised and I commend anyone that chooses not to.

Shane
mom to Theodore (3) and Issac (1)

[lilyka]

I voted that we made it together but dh was rather ambivilant about it. My midwife was very against it and her lecture was all I needed to move over to the other side.

[solekat205]

regrettfully I did in the end. I wish I could take it back that we had him circ. My hub didn't want to and then the DR walzted in and said if we didn't he would be plagued with constant UTI's and the foreskin is dirty and I would always be cleaning it & pulling it back. How sad & stupid I was. To make it worse when they took him off it was almost 2 1/2 hours before they brought him back to me. They said they thought I needed my sleep. It was aweful he clawed his lil face up and at 9 weeks still has a scar on his cheek from one deep cut. I often wonder if this trauma is what made him my lil high needs baby that only wants me and noone else. I will never have any future boys circ. I learned the hard way at my sons expense.
Kat

[Nathan1097]

Originally posted by Christy1980

Things to notice in this video:

1) The doctor's description to the father of the boy about the "'look' he's going for," basically stating that this is a cosmetic procedure.
2) The green stuff put on the boy's penis is betadine...a disinfectant, NOT a pain reliever.
3) The father's nervous attitude and the doctor's jokes about how the anti-circumcision movement says circ is bad but "we know it hasn't hurt anybody, haha."
4) And the father's uneasy laughter at the doctor's jokes.

Don't forget when the baby is screaming so hard he is choking on his spit and/or vomit and his screams turn into silent shrieks- all the while his arms which haven't been strapped down, are flailing wildly-, the doctor shoves the binkie in the kid's mouth and says "Shush shush shush..." and then to the father "He's gotten himself all worked up..." Continue the cutting, clamping, etc.....

[solekat205]

was this post intended to make me feel worse?

why would you post this as a reply to me after I said I already felt bad for being misinformed? I think this was cruel of the poster. My feelings were extremely hurt by this.

[Frankly Speaking]

Kat:

I noticed that the post was addressed to Christy. I don't think that it was aimed at you or even realized that you would be offended. I have been seeing Nathan1097 on several boards for a long time and that is not her normal modus operandi.

I feel for you and for your sons and I think that feeling is shared by everyone here. I think we all feel you are a very brave woman to face up to what has happened and bring it to this forum to be shared. We all benefit from your honesty and openness as well as millions of men yet to be born. Thank you!


Frank