Who made the circumcision decision for your child? - Page 5

[MelissaEvans]

I did the homework and decided I didn't want it done; but I left the final say up to DH. He decided not to have it done. For a long time I thought it was to appease me (as I'm sure you've noticed, I can be quite opinionated). Now he says he went with my wishes, not to keep me quiet, but because he trusted my analysis. That made me feel better.

I've been really lucky, none of my family members have been upset by "our" decision (I love the concept that it's really the son's choice). MIL was talking to my birth-mom and was a bit surprised that we didn't have it done. Birth-mom said, "well, hasn't he been through enough?" (c/s, possible GBS infection, low oxygen levels, IV, monitors, tons of pricks and pokes, poor guy) MIL agreed and that was that. =) It's funny, now I talk to all three of my moms (MIL, birth, and step who raised me) and give them all the reasons I find (and keep finding!) not to have it done and they agree. This is odd becuase MIL had her son, my DH, circ'd and step mom had both her sons circ'd. I try very hard not to "you should have" them, I know that when DH was born it wasn't really an option not to. Not unless you were *very* concerned, it simply wasn't really questioned. Now it is and I feel so lucky that information is out there and people are thinking twice.

My OB/GYN didn't really push either way which was nice. The ped asked at our first visit if we were going to have it done there (because of course we're going to have it done) and we told him no. He didn't push either; but his expectation bugged me. Whatever.

All these stories of, "I didn't know at the time," tells me doctors are failing to do their job of informing patients. It's not your fault. You did the best you could at the time, that's all anyone can ask of you. If you've learned and grown, then you've proven yourself to be strong and should be commended. My respect is very high for you moms! *hugs*

~Melissa

[Frankly Speaking]

Originally posted by MelissaEvans
All these stories of, "I didn't know at the time," tells me doctors are failing to do their job of informing patients.

The disturbing thing about this is that the AAP's statement has remained essentially the same for 30 years and there has been little new research and nothing ground breaking since the first statement but the doctors are using the same old justifications. The only thing that is changing is a better informed patient thanks to the internet and parents talking to parents. This has caused many doctors to re-assess their position and become educated. It's got to be embarassing when the patient knows more than the doctor.





Frank

[applejuice]

The final say went to my Jewish DH.

[vein]

My brother (20) is not circumcised, and I thought it was kind of sick to do it to poor babies in the first place. (And also thought it was very wrong that some of the same people AGAINST female circumcision were FOR male circumcision - it just didn't make sense to me)

In the end, my SO (who was circumcised) and I didn't even really discuss it. I told him I didn't want it done, he said okay, the midwife asked at his 3 day check up, I said no, she said good (and said that the dr she consults with will only do it very hestitantly if the parent insists on it) and that was that. Gavin's dr has never mentioned it and has never asked if we were planning on it. The IL's have never mentioned it (they know it's none of their business hehe) and my mom was relieved at our decision.

If he wants it done when he's an adult, all the more power to him, but we're not making that decision for him.

[intensity_too]

It was important that my husband and I agree on this issue. Lucky for us, it wasn't an issue at all. Even though my husband was circumsized as a baby he felt no need for or son to be. My husband says he wants or son to enjoy what he has missed. LOL I've always felt why cut it off if it's supposed to be there. I mean really . . . do you think little boys would be born with something they didn't need??

Jaime

[doulamoon]

We agreed but even if we hadn't it would not have happened. No one is cutting anything off a child of mine.

[Fletchersmama]

Originally, DH wanted it done. Same old sad reasons:
it's cleaner
...want him to look like me
etc, etc
I told him all the reason these thoughts were untrue.
He still thought we should do it.
I said if you think you could hold your boy when they cut off a part of his penis I will consider it. The image put an end to DH's wish to circ. If he had agreed to hold babe while someone did this, I would have put my foot down. But I knew he needed to come to same conclusion as me. Now he tells friends and family why it's wrong to hurt little boys this way.
After DS was born, DH's mom says having her boys circ'd was something she would always regret. She can still hear his screaming down the hall when it was done.
Makes me cry to think of the pain he went through.
I smile everytime I change DS's diaper, bath him or just plain air out his butt - So does Dad!: )

[Alenushka]

We both desided to it becuase of the religious contect and because of what happened to my brother. It all went well, in the Temple with me nursing immediately. I think it is a personal deision and people should do what makes them happy

[Xenogenesis]

Totally Off Topic - but I was wondering "what happened to your brother" ??

[Alenushka]

I guess, I hade a weired family

Infections upon infections. Despite good hygene, homeopathy, antibitotics, spells, herbs etc etc etc. He was cirked at 7 with anestesia. He has no regrets.
My cousin, at the age of 6 insited on being cirked for religous reasons. He pestered his very reluctant parents will they gave in. He had it done int he hospital. Says he has no regerets

[Xenogenesis]

I'm so sorry...

[bloodrayne]

We both made the decision not to circumsize. We didn't discuss it with anyone, not the doctor, our families, or the midwife, other than to let her know we had decided not to.

[Xenogenesis]

Excellent !!

[Mahaylea]

Well I actually we never disgussed whether it hsould or shouldn't be done..I assumed it wouldn't..One day it came up in convo and d/f said he thinks boys should be done..Well I flew off about it because I can not believe can agree with them removing something from our sons when they are born with it..I put my foot down right then and that was that..I would have booted him out before circ. my sons..

[Frankly Speaking]

I suspect the 7 yo had been retracted prematurely and that was what caused his problems. It appears that even though this has been done and there have been infections caused by the retractions and over concern with hygiene that they boys out grow it in most cases between 8 and 12 years old. What a shame that at just the time it was about to be over with, he decided on the surgery.




Frank

[earthpapi]

dw and i new not to get it done to ds. i never cared about ds looking like me. i would rather have him make that choice on his own, and i will never put ds through that much pain. a co worker was telling me i was stupid and that my ds would get infections and everyone would laugh at him and he would not be like me. i looked at him and asked if he would laugh. he said maybe, then i ask what the hell would you be doing looking, everyone looked at him and he felt really really stupid and just sat down. then i told him that ds will make everyone feel as bad as he did or worse if anyone laughed at him. i would make sure of it.(i know this is just the tuff dad thing coming out but hey thats dads for ya ) after that i could not beleive how some people can actually say that and believe that. the only way kids would laugh is if thier parents made that issue into an issue. and this guys was one of them. hopefully i shot him up for a little bit. well agian this is my $0.02 adios

[Xenogenesis]

Originally posted by Frankly Speaking
I suspect the 7 yo had been retracted prematurely and that was what caused his problems. It appears that even though this has been done and there have been infections caused by the retractions and over concern with hygiene that they boys out grow it in most cases between 8 and 12 years old. What a shame that at just the time it was about to be over with, he decided on the surgery.

Of the world's population only 10 to 15 percent of men are circumcised. The vast majority of whom are Muslim. Thanks to expert medical advice we are now learning not to ever retract because of the problems this can cause by introducing germs directly into the urinary tract, that the foreskin is self-cleansing much like your eyelids, the presence of smegma is not indicative of infection, and that penile surgery is an extreme measure and should be reserved for life-threatening situations.


http://mothering.com/10-0-0/html/10-...rcson103.shtml

http://mothering.com/10-0-0/html/10-...cision85.shtml

[muldey]

I say we both made the decision,even though dh Billy took a little convincing.He's circed, and has a horrible scar from it. I did tons of research on the internet,and just after seeing one picture I had made up my mind.I couldn't even imagine watching a video,I would be hysterical. When Gabrion had his open heart surgery,the nurses were surprised becuase we were very scared that they would circ him while he was under.(we have heard of this happening) They said they usually get the oposite,parents usually ask them to circ! We were told they do not do that,the child is going through more than enough,they couldn't see putting them through any more pain.This was at Children's Hospital in Boston.


Lisa in RI
SAHM to homeschooled Kasia(who will be 5 2 weeks from today!) ,Gabrion(22 months,unvaxxed,intact,TOF(tetralogy of fallot,congenital heart defect) ,wife to Billy

[rose]

Our baby is due next month. DH and I decided that if it's a boy, we will not circumcize...

[quantumsarah]

I made the decision first and my (former) partner agreed, even though he was circumcised. He was willing to go along with my decision from the get-go, but it took very little research to totally convince him that circumcision was definitely not something we wanted to do to our sons.