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Potty Training Question: Is this normal?

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

Hi folks, I have a 36 month old who made the transition to underwear very smoothly about 1.5 months ago. However, we have some issues that I just don't know whether it's normal or not, so thanks for your thoughts.


Background: My DD is in underwear all day except for her 1 nap and at bed. She wets her pull-ups at said nap and at bed, so she's not clearly ready for being sans-pullup while sleeping. We don't do rewards or anything like that. Just a "good job" and that's it.


My issues are:


1. When I ask her if she has to go, she insists she doesn't. I then have to tell her it doesn't matter, we're going anyway, and she always ends up peeing quite a lot.

2. She poops on the toilet like a champ and will even ask to go. No pullup pooping since day 2 or 3 of the process.

3. She WILL NOT tell us she needs to pee.

4. The last 3 days she has peed in her pants and when we ask her why she didn't say she had to go she will say "I was pretending like there was a diaper there."

5. While in the car driving home from the park she said she peed in her seat but she did not. I told her she didn't but she insisted she did, even as she felt her dry pants. She had no reason to attention-seek.

6. She does attention-seek from the nanny, asking to pee and poop at nap after she has already gone once but only if the nanny has my 9mo DS yet to put down for nap.



Mostly I am concerned about #5. Combined with #3 & 4 it makes me seem like she doesn't know what the sensation of peeing is? Are these sort of events while potty training normal?

post #2 of 6

I don't have a lot of advice, but I think it sounds pretty normal. She's still in the stage of making the connection between what it feels like and what is normal. 


Hopefully someone else has more to say! 

post #3 of 6

Totally normal. It's still a pretty new thing to have mastered only 1 1/2 months ago. Giver her time & try not to make a big deal out of "accidents" have her do as much of the cleaning up of herself & any wetness that may get on the floor as she can, but keep it lighthearted. Also just make it a part of the daily routine to have her sit on the potty just like when she was still really getting it. That age of kid would rather keep playing than stop to pee. Heck I'm still like that! Sometimes waiting til the very last second & having to do the pee-pee dance down the hall to make it in time, just sayin.... shy.gif

Also you might keep a spare potty in the back of the car for emergency pee stops, especially in the scenario of her saying she just peed, which might really have meant that she needed to pee.

post #4 of 6

Another vote for "normal." My older son potty-learned at 2.5. When he was nearly 4 he decided to try out his control and kept having "accidents." He once told me that instead of interrupting his play time, he chose to wet his pants instead, "just like when I had diapers." When he understood that that was NOT okay, he went all stealth on it. He'd let out "just enough" so that he didn't feel that urgency anymore, and his underwear would be a little wet, but not his pants. So no one knew. He thought that was THE BEST. I did not. He eventually gave that up, but OMG it was maddening. It's all about control, and they have it when it comes to pottying.

post #5 of 6

Another vote for normal.  My son who is a little over 2.5 years has been potty trained for a while now (with the occasional accident) never wants to go and always tells me he doesn't have to.  He will even be doing the potty dance and I will ask him if he has to go, he says no, and I say "well, you are doing the potty dance, are you sure?" and his response is always that he is doing some other type of dance.  Like a toy dance, or a pancake dance.  Also, I think that it is a combo of figuring the sensation out (is that a toot?  Do I have to pee?  Do I have to poop?) and gaging your reaction.  Sometimes I think the "I peed in my car seat thing"  is really a toot.

Anyways, another vote for totally normal. :)

post #6 of 6

Normal.  It takes time to figure out all those sensations.  With diapers, they've been able to pretty much ignore their own cues to go, so it's going to take time to figure it all out.  


As to your #1, simple solution - stop asking.  If you tell her she's going to go anyway no matter what her answer, why even ask?  Just say, "Potty time now," or whatever.


#5, maybe she really did think she went.  Maybe she sensed the urge to go, confusing it with actually going.  Maybe she did just need a little attention!  

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