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My daughter wants to chop off ALL of her hair

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 

I'm just wondering how other people feel about this.

 

I have a 3 year old daughter who is just as much into superheros and dirt as princesses and playing house. I am 100% cool with that. She is close enough to her older brother's size that she asks for his hand-me-downs and I let her have them. I have no issues with her going around in a SpiderMan shirt if she chooses. The next day she might have a dress on.

 

Recently, I chopped off most of my hair. It was down to the middle of my back at least. Now, it's about to my chin in the front, and it's maybe an inch in the back (one of those reverse bobs, I don't really know how to explain it). And her brother has traditional super short hair. She adores her brother and wants to be just like him. SO, she wants to cut all her hair off. And personally, I'm fine with that. BUT 1) I'm scared she is going to hate it and freak out if we do it. 2) Little kids are mean, she's tough but I don't know how she will feel about herself, at three, if someone teases her for her hair. Since it's a lot more permanent that what shirt she wears for the day, I have my concerns just about her feelings. I know in one way, she'd love it. She hasn't had a hair cut ever (except for split ends) and it's probably midway down her back. She hates it in her face, but won't keep it in a ponytail or headband.

 

Anyone let their little girl cut off a lot of her hair? Did they have any issues with the other kids? Did they care?

post #2 of 26

My five year old got a short haircut this spring.  I was really surprised that she wanted one, because she tends to initially buy in to ideas about gender that say boys have short hair and girls have long hair, and that boys don't wear dresses. (This despite the fact that there was one boy at daycare with VERY long hair, and another who wears skirts and dresses.)  We just made sure to double and triple check with her that that's really what she wanted.  We looked through magazines at the salon, and asked if she wanted it short like the women in the pictures.  My stylist has a short haircut, and we asked if she wanted it just like hers.  We also reminded her that all hair grows slowly, and hers more slowly than some others.  She kept saying yes, she was sure, so we did it. (She also liked the idea that her haircut had a name: pixie.)  I don't know if any of the other kids have said anything.  Once or twice she has said she doesn't like it, but I don't know if I believe her.  She she's one of those kids that doesn't want to go to daycare in the morning, but then doesn't want to leave when you pick her up.  Most of the time she seems just fine with it.  EVERY adult that's seen it loves it and has told her so, which I think she likes.  She looks so adorable.  It really suits her.

post #3 of 26

My three year old has hair that is naturally only to her chin. I cant imagine it would be a problem in the group of people I know... almost none of the three year olds I know have hair to their back. Maybe cut it a little first and then go for the big haircut if she still wants it?

post #4 of 26

Why don't you cut it to her shoulders and see if she still wants to go shorter and shorter?  I would love it if both my dds had short hair (just my 3 year old has it short now, kinda like your hair sounds).  I think it would be good if she wants it!.

post #5 of 26

get a good cut. dd did it at 4. very well done and very chic. other kids noticed. didnt say anything. but another mom came and asked me who the hairdresser was and went and got a mommy dd hair cut and they both looked so good. even i have to admit that hairstyle really really suited dd but it made her even more sassy than she was. so i didnt keep it. 

post #6 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chloe'sMama View Post
 

Why don't you cut it to her shoulders and see if she still wants to go shorter and shorter?  I would love it if both my dds had short hair (just my 3 year old has it short now, kinda like your hair sounds).  I think it would be good if she wants it!.

I think this is good advice. That way, if she's unhappy with her choice, the change won't be too drastic.

 

My dd has always had short hair, mostly earlobe length. I find it very easy to maintain, and I can still put a bow or clips in her hair if she asks. That way, she doesn't have her hair in her eyes all the time when she plays, but it can still be girlish.

post #7 of 26
Neither of my daughters cared at 3 that much how their hair was. I'd just let her get short hair. If you're afraid it'll look boyish and that's a probelm for you, she could have a short bob or a pixie cut.
post #8 of 26

My almost 4-year old has always had a very short a-line bob with bangs (longer towards the front, very short in back). It looks very chic and classic and is so easy to care for - hardly any knots and much less brushing, and she always looks put-together. She can wear a clip, bow or headband if she wants to, though she rarely chooses to. Over the summer she said she wanted to try growing it, so we grew it for a few months until it was past her chin. It started getting tangles, and she hated having the knots worked out so much that she begged to go short again. I'd go as short as a short pixie cut if she wanted it, but then I've had short or even shaved hair lots of times in my life and I know how good it feels and easy it is to care for.

I think little girls look adorable with short hair. If your concern is just that she won't like it once she does it, you can always take the advice of pp and go shoulder- or chin-length first, as that will grow back out quickly if she wants it to.

post #9 of 26

My almost 4-year old has always had a very short a-line bob with bangs (longer towards the front, very short in back). It looks very chic and classic and is so easy to care for - hardly any knots and much less brushing, and she always looks put-together. She can wear a clip, bow or headband if she wants to, though she rarely chooses to. Over the summer she said she wanted to try growing it, so we grew it for a few months until it was past her chin. It started getting tangles, and she hated having the knots worked out so much that she begged to go short again. I'd go as short as a short pixie cut if she wanted it, but then I've had short or even shaved hair lots of times in my life and I know how good it feels and easy it is to care for.

I think little girls look adorable with short hair. If your concern is just that she won't like it once she does it, you can always take the advice of pp and go shoulder- or chin-length first, as that will grow back out quickly if she wants it to.

post #10 of 26
My mom let me cut my hair into a, in retrospect tragic, bowl cut. Was that trendy in 1993? I don't know, but I hated it almost immediately, but I got over it and nobody teased me.
post #11 of 26
I have a four year old with a pixie cut. Though she's occasionally mistaken for a boy (especially when dressed in traditionally "boy" clothes) she gets far, far more comments on her hair than most kids- 99% positive and the very rare question about whether it's short because of gum or similar accidents. My seven year old has very long hair that's only been cut once her her life. They're totally different kids, and suit different hair cuts and want different things.

The best thing about hair is that it always grows back smile.gif
post #12 of 26

I think our culture is way too obsessed with hair. Let her try it. It's just hair.  Teach her that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If she likes a style that's easy to manage and doesn't get in her way then she should rock it.  If someone teases her tell that anyone who teases her about her hair must not be a very interesting person if they are so worried about what someone else's hair looks like.

post #13 of 26

OH! A fun book to accompany this experiment might be "Stephanie's Ponytail," a favorite I saved from my childhood. It's about being a trendsetter, the pitfalls of blindly following trends, and an overall message of being content with who you are as an individual. It's a little simplistic, but definitely a conversation starter. 

 

http://robertmunsch.com/book/stephanies-ponytail

post #14 of 26
My 6yodd is both very girly and very tomboy; her two favorite things in the world are My Little Pony and X-Men. A couple of years ago she decided she wanted her hair short. I had reservations about it -- like you, worrying she would hate it -- but she loves it. She's kept it short ever since. She has absolutely no problems with other kids teasing her, because it's cut in a feminine style. She looks like a girl with short hair.

My 15yodd also has short hair. A couple years ago I made her cut off her hair, which was about halfway down her back, because she refused to take care of it. She was nervous about it at first, but absolutely fell in love with her short hair as soon as she saw it. Again, the trick is to have a feminine style that looks good on her. Plus, since she has very thick, wavy hair, she loves not having to brush knots out of it every single morning.

On the other hand, my 8yodd still has long hair, and prefers to keep it that way. Every now and then she talks about getting it cut short, but when it comes down to it, "short" to her is a few inches past her shoulders. wink1.gif Which is fine with me, since she actually brushes her hair.
post #15 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by grethel View Post
 

I think little girls look adorable with short hair.

I agree.

When my daughter was young she didn't care how her hair was cut so since age two I always had it cut in a chin length bob with the back a bit shorter.    It always looked neat and I think she looked great.  But around age 7 she decided she wanted long hair.  I wish she would cut it short again.

 

About half of the girls my daughter knows had/have short hair.  I can't imagine anyone making fun of your daughter's haircut.

post #16 of 26
My nearly 5yo has a shaved head with a bit longer faux hawk style on top. In essence, very much a 'boy' haircut according to the world at large.
She first asked for short hair when she was 3 and I said that If she still wanted it short come summer, we'd do it.
Summer came, she was still asking for it, and so we chopped it off. And she wanted it shorter, mostly shaved. So we did that.
And then everyone who didn't know her called her a boy. Even when she was wearing a dress.
She wears whatever she wants and hates pink and dresses, so often she's wearing so-called 'boyish' clothes.
She's bold and loud and fearless, and for a while corrected anyone who called her a boy and got upset when kids would persist or tease her. Slowly her hair grew until it was almost chin-length. Then she got annoyed with it and wanted it shaved again.
We talked about how it was for her, and that people thought she was a boy.
She shrugged, and went to get the clippers.
So, here we are, with the buzz-cut again.
Same as her younger brother. Who only cut his long gorgeous locks when she buzzed her's off.
Gender is pretty fluid at our house, what with my female partner having a very short haircut and getting called 'sir' all the time.
It's been an interesting trip, advocating for my child and minding her feelings while people make ignorant comments.
As much as it's 'just hair' ... Once you get into the Very Short 'boyish' styles with a kid who isn't big into girly anything, it's a bit more than just a new style.
Having said all that, I believe in letting kids make choices about their bodies when they can, and hair is a great way to experiment without it being permanent.
post #17 of 26
My 3yo had hair just past her shoulder blades when she started asking to have it cut. I don't know what prompted it. Maybe hating to have it washed or brushed shrug.gif. She talked about it comsistently for a couple of weeks so I made an appointment for her. She burst into tears in the car on the way and I told her we would just go and talk to the hairdresser and if she didn't want a cut after all then we wouldn't. She was fine. I asked for it to be about earlobe length but the hairdresser wouldn't go that short so she ended up with chin length. Within a week she was saying her hair was too long again. The next time we went back the hairdresser did earlobe length and my daughter was delighted.
It took me a while to get over it though!!

I would let her do it and, as PPs have said, if you're really concerned, start with something midway and go from there.
post #18 of 26

We cut my daughter's hair super short when she was about that age and it was adorable. I had a pixie cut at the time, so she wanted one too. Her preschool class had about half the girls with short (chin length and above) hair too. As long as it's cut right, no one should think she's a boy.  I think gamine cuts on little girls are absolutely adorable. :)

post #19 of 26

My son has long hair past his shoulder blades.  He is bullied about it by adults and children.  His father has long hair, same length.  My son used to be a poor hair washer, but then said he wanted to grow it.  I said fine, but you have to wash & brush it.  And he has.  So super. 

 

My daughter has a chopped bob, same as me.

 

The reality is, people do make fun and there is bullying.  It can get nasty, really nasty.  We talk a fair bit about the impossibly ignorant attitudes of others, which is gonna happen about something sometime anyway.  Such is life.

post #20 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chloe'sMama View Post
 

Why don't you cut it to her shoulders and see if she still wants to go shorter and shorter?  I would love it if both my dds had short hair (just my 3 year old has it short now, kinda like your hair sounds).  I think it would be good if she wants it!.

 

This is exactly what I would do. :) 

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