We have a spirited 4 year old girl and 9 month old twin boys. DD is fairly well adjusted, as well as can be expected, but she is still doing things to them on a daily basis that either hurt them or have the potential to hurt them (hitting, pinching, squeezing, kicking, etc). Nothing we are doing seems to be helping and we are at a loss to help her grow out of this phase.
Our current strategy is to immediately remove her for a chill out time. We do so without raising our voices or getting angry. The thing is that she just runs away laughing and won't stay wherever we've placed her. I'm assuming this is developmentally normal (the running away) but it has the effect of aggravating me so much that I respond to that in a way that just continues to escalate the situation. And she ends up getting a ton of attention from me, which is like the opposite of what I am intending with the chill out time. We spend a lot of the day 'filling her cup' in positive ways so theoretically she shouldn't be lacking for attention/affection from us, but obviously she is in some way! She seems to have this insatiable need to be the center of attention at nearly all times.
What am I doing wrong? How can I encourage her to be kinder to her brothers, or at least to stop hurting them? Any strategies, tips, resources will be much appreciated. At this point, it's the only behaviour of hers that I have such a hard time with. All her other boundary pushing I feel I can manage in a gentle and effective manner but the hurting her brothers makes me see red.