you probably all know that this is an ongoing thread, going on for years and years and years.
I love DH. He is cute, funny, physical, trying to please me (when he is around) sex life is good. He is a father who loves his kids, he plays with them, he makes funny things with them and spends time with them.
but. He is not reliable at all. He says he will be there at a certain time and he won't. He won't call to tell me. He will show up at any time and be unable to comprehend why on earth I am mad at him (even if he knows he just messed up my whole planning and organisation and I didn't get my things done) Even if I get late to work because of him (It does not really matter when you show up, anyway! - his words) I learned to organize around him, but he uncaring attitude bugs me.
He makes promises to the kids all.the.time that he won't hold. If I say: Please, no promises you cannot keep - I am the party booper.
He does not get dangerous situation. Just today I picked up two Ritalin tablet on the floor. (But I find them anywhere all the time) - this is just an example, there are dozens more.
I feel that the situation sucks the energy out of me, and I get short tempered with the kids because I am angry with him. I catch myself complaining about him to the kids. Like: They ask me: When will Daddy be home? And I: I don't know, he never tells, or he just does not show up, he is never on time...(And I get angry with myself for it)
We go to counseling, but they have such expert advise as: Just show up every night at nine, than you cannot be possibly do anything anyway. As in: I just do all the work, and he just comes home for a nice evening (Idea was that I would not be angry whith him than and we could have a in-home date night - yeah, right!)
I don't know what to do. I feel trapped in this situation and cannot find a way out. I still hope he will understand one day and everything will change. I mean, he WILL understand one day, right? (isn't this stupid...?)