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Anybody thinking about their 'to do' list or 'to get' list before baby? 40 posts | Last post on Yesterday at 8:15 pm
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First Baby due in May!post #1 of 218/31/13 at 6:18amThread StarterHey ladies. I would love to hear from others that are having their first. I'm 37 and this is my first. I'm single and pregnant after trying for only 2 months. Everything seems surreal, and I feel a bit crazy. Every little bit of feeling near my uterus makes me paranoid, and I'm examining my toilet paper like I'm a scientist in a lab. I'm having a hard time relaxing. I hope I will get there by 8 weeks.post #2 of 218/31/13 at 6:25ampost #3 of 218/31/13 at 8:51amThread Starterpost #4 of 218/31/13 at 6:43pmpost #5 of 219/1/13 at 9:25amQuote:I'm having a hard time relaxing. I hope I will get there by 8 weeks.
I'm sorry, this is my third and the worry never goes away. First trimester: miscarriage. Second trimester: birth defects. Third trimester: stillbirth. Worry worry worry.
It never goes away until your baby is born, and then you start worrying about SIDS, and dropping him on his head, having enough milk, and him overheating at night. And then he gets older and you worry about car accidents, choking on his apple, being developmentally behind because he's not talking yet, someone breaking into your house in the middle of the night, falling off the play structure, having lost his shot at Harvard because you let him watch two hours of tv that one time, running off and getting kidnapped when you turn your back at the supermarket, running into traffic, that his fever is actually some weird virus mutation and will scar him permanently, and being crushed under heavy furniture. But by this point the worry will be a part of your psyche and you'll accept it as normal. That's, uh, the good news, I guess. Welcome to your new life.post #6 of 219/1/13 at 9:35amThread Starterpost #7 of 219/2/13 at 4:21pm
This is also my first baby! I'm really nervous because like any other mother I hope for a smooth pregnancy and a healthy baby. I'm a worry wart so i'm trying not to worry about it so much. Luckily right now it still doesn't feel real so it's easy to just go about my day not thinking about it. Don't get me wrong I still am conscious about what i do and things i eat or drink, but otherwise I try to just go about my day as I usually do and not worry about all the feelings I have in my belly. I've been a little tired and today i've been a little nauseous but I don't think it's from the baby. I think i'm starting to get a little cold and my sinus' are draining into my stomach and making my stomach feel sour. I'm glad that there are others on here having their first and that we have the support from experienced mothers!post #8 of 219/2/13 at 6:56pmThread StarterGig8690, I envy your ability to go about your day and not think about it. I think I can go about 15 minutes before I'm back obsessing. I agree with you its nice having some diversity with new mamas and mama's with many babies. I also like when they weigh in on this thread and give us a dose of realitypost #9 of 219/2/13 at 7:17pmThis is my second, but my worry really dropped away after I heard the first heartbeat. I still read a ton and tried to inform myself of everything I would need to know (e.g. scouring kellymom), but I didn't worry. Much later I started hypnobabies classes and there's an affirmations track you're supposed to listen to daily. It really made for a blissful third trimester, even though the track itself was cheesy-seeming.
I still get twinges of worry, but its far from overwhelming. It will get better, mama!post #10 of 219/11/13 at 11:37ampost #11 of 219/13/13 at 5:49pmThread Starterpost #12 of 219/22/13 at 12:06pm
I can relate, MamaCayenne. I'm 28 and expecting my first. I work in women's healthcare and I'm very well aware of all the little (and big) things that can go wrong, and it's really messing with my head. When you said you can't go 15 minutes without obsessing I thought, "...yep, I know the feeling."
My daily mantra is: "I'm doing the best I can." If you're doing your best to eat well, avoid hazards, and make informed decisions about your pregnancy, then you can't ask anything more of yourself. Worrying will not help you, even though in the moment it may feel like you're protecting yourself by worrying. There's that saying, "Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere."
Talking to a midwife or a counselor can help, because sometimes just saying something out loud stops you from cycling it over and over in your head. And getting another person's perspective on something can be helpful. I don't know if you're one to meditate, but taking some time each day to refocus your thoughts for a moment can help. For example, taking a minute or two to take some deep breaths, focus on the sensation of the air going in and out of your lungs, your chest rising and falling, letting all the sounds around you go in one ear and out the other, and just realizing that in that moment you are ok, and your thoughts are not reality. Maybe pull up a guided relaxation on Youtube the next time you start obsessing over something.
Another good idea is getting exercise. Even a fast paced walk in the woods can really help clear the mind.
I talk to a counselor and midwife, practice "centering" or relaxation techniques, get out in nature, and remind myself everyday that I'm doing the best I can...and it seems to be helpingpost #13 of 219/22/13 at 5:47pmThread StarterThanks Brave Irene! I'm lucky to live in a rural area and on a large farm, so there are a lot of places for me to walk. I thru-hiked the Appalachian Trail in 2011, so I'm really into long walks in the woods. I've noticed that when I'm walking alone I talk to the little being growing inside me, and its really nice. Feeling a little calmer these dayspost #14 of 219/23/13 at 1:42pm
I'm expecting my first baby! This isn't my first pregnancy but it's the first time I've made it this far in a pregnancy! I'm super worried seeing as I don't have much confidence in my body's ability to do what it's supposed to do... I had to go through 3 years of TTC, 2 years of fertility treatments, 3 in-vitro fertilization cycles, 1 surgery, and 1 miscarriage in order to reach this point... I've gotten pretty used to failure and disappointment over the past 3 years, and it's hard to imagine a happy ending for me.
I recently started throwing up occasionally and I find that extremely reassuring! I'm so, so grateful to be able to be pregnant enough to throw up!post #15 of 219/23/13 at 5:57pmpost #16 of 219/23/13 at 7:29pmThread Starterpost #17 of 219/24/13 at 7:03pm
This is #1 for me, as well! I've been surprised at how calm I feel so far. We've been trying since March, and honestly, I felt much more anxious and worried TTC than I do now that I'm pregnant. We had an early loss at the end of April, so I think I'm still sort of cautiously excited. But while I would have been overjoyed for that pregnancy to be healthy and viable, it didn't feel quite right from the beginning. This time I feel very strong, positive vibes, and really think everything will be OK. So far my symptoms are pretty mild... sore nipples and breasts, light cramping, fatigue, peeing more often. Our first midwife appointment is at 10 weeks, on Halloween! So for now I'm just focusing on good food, long walks or some kind of exercise every day, resting and relaxing : )post #18 of 219/24/13 at 7:07pmpost #19 of 219/30/13 at 2:44pm
This will (hopefully) be my first baby! I had a miscarriage in June (6.5 weeks) so I'm struggling with remaining calm and not worrying. I just tell myself that worrying won't change anything and whatever is meant to happen will happen. I just don't want to start all over again! I just joined the DDC today at 6 weeks because I was worried of joining right away in case something would happen. I changed my mind because I remembered how supportive and understanding everyone on this website is. I'm definitely going to get back into meditating now that I have more time on my hands.post #20 of 2110/1/13 at 7:46am
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