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Queer Conceptions September - Page 6

post #101 of 133

sandie: That is a pretty big price difference. Did you ever hear anything back? Good luck this cycle! Honestly I don't know what field I would want to do my phd in. I have a few ideas, but we'll see how I feel in five years. A lot of what you said are things my DW has expressed to me. We've had a few conversations about how to be better equal partners and parents, I appreciate your experience and insight. DW also has an app and I send her my temps. 


fried: I hope the appt with the ivf clinic goes well. We'll have quite a few IVF graduated here pretty soon


kbfs: How's the TWW going? 


lea: Welcome back! A November insem isn't too far away at all.


mama: How did you appt with the RE go? 


liz: I'm glad to hear that your mum is happy for you and your pregnancy. 


bettertomarry: Welcome, I hope you feel welcome here, as others have said there are other non-carrying moms here who post fairly regularly. You sound a lot like my wife. She's always asking me a million questions about my body, I appreciate it and love how involved she is. I was worried that she wouldn't be. 


agrex: Your timing sounds great. Hope the TWW flies by for you and ends with a BFP


QOTD: We'd like to get legally married before the baby arrives. No big trips or anything planned in the near future. I'd also really like to get the house all put together, painted, etc. 


I have a QOTD: Do you already have a midwife or OB or will you wait until you get a BFP to pick one? 

post #102 of 133

Fried - This is our first cycle back at things so we're still keeping things as simple as possible (no meds). The short LP is a new phenomenon (it was consistently 11 days a few years ago but in my two months of preparatory tracking this go around it was only 9 days), I'm hoping it was a fluke, or that I was wrong about my O date and those months. We'll see, I think she wants to wait until this weekend to test and I could see AF as soon as Friday. The kids tend to the wake us up at the same time so we'll probably all be hanging out in our bed to see the results.


SanDiego - I feel stupid for not catching the NGP and your username and recognizing what it meant. I love all of your ideas about including the NGP. I think I may have forgotten about these types of considerations since with DD we were both NGPs and we didn't have to think about these things. Terribly thoughtless, I know. I will be showing this thread to DW tonight and we can talk about making a plan that is more inclusive for her.


In fact, thank everyone here for this discussion of NGP concerns! Sphinxy - wow you were coming right along, aren't you? Congratulations on making it to 37 weeks! So much excitement is right around the corner for you!


Agrex - your issues with pinpointing O this month are all too familiar. Those two follies are so exciting though - I will keep my fingers crossed for you! :goodvibes


Isa - Thanks - it's absolutely is the hardest thing I've ever done. That I have DD to show for it makes it all worth it, and maybe, just maybe DS will stay too. I also agree with you that things shift once you move away from the first many months. While we never BF'd DD because she was initially our foster, I was still the SAHM and it sometimes made the connection with her and I strong. Now that she's a bit older, DW and I have found a really good balance of roles.

post #103 of 133
Seems like its been ages since I posted last! DP and I just finished moving and I've been So busy with work the last week I have barely had time to get online! Well I'm hanging out at cd6 of au naturale cycle #2... no clomid again. Still looks like o date is going to be the day I get back from Seattle. So after mye flights lands we're planning to insem. The timing might be a bit weired but why not try since we've got kd. I hope everyones cycles are going well! Suerte!
post #104 of 133
sandiegongp- I really appreciated your "long and rambly" post about your experience being the NGP. You brought up some things that I hadn't really thought about much, and gave me ideas for involving my partner more in the process. Thanks!
My partner is very squeamish about the entire ttc process, so it is really all up to me. But once I am actually pregnant I know she will be amazing. And once baby is here, she'll be the primary caregiver, so she'll be super involved at that point!

agrex- Sounds perfect to me! Two follicles, oktoberfest, good timing, hopefully all will result in your bfp!

redrockband- Thanks for asking! This tww is feeling very similar to all my other tries. I sit at work and try not to pay so much attention to imaginary symptoms, while simultaneously totally getting my hopes up that this is the magic cycle. The one difference is that every other try I have been really good about quitting coffee and alcohol and this try my partner has insisted that I drink a beer a few different nights. She says that my way of trying hasn't worked and everyone she knows that got pregnant they were drinking, so insists that I try at least one cycle "her way". So we'll see! I'm holding off on testing until Sunday (maybe saturday), so I really just have to make it through this work week!
post #105 of 133
Hello all queer ttc'ers

I've been absent from here for about 9 mths. I would love to report that amazing things have occurred during that time but sadly not a lot of excitement w the ttc business.

So I've scrolled through this thread - I love the support and hope provided on these boards. And good things do happen bc many of the folks who were here when I was here in 2011-12 have gone on to have their dream babies. So it can and will happen for each one of us.

Little background: been ttc for 3 years this month. Sadly there have been several months during that time we didn't try bc of taking an intentional break, lacking money to try, or some kind of medical issue for me.
I'm 37 and my wife is 33. I've been the one trying and it's been the absolutely toughest and most humbling experiences in my adult life.we have used both frozen and fresh shipped sperm- currently we have been using the same known donor since may of last year. He's great - and he lives across the country and he's said he would be willing to be w us for the long hull.
I've only started to have ovulatory issues last September and have tried 3 rounds of clomid with really nothing to show for it.

I've decided to return to queer conceptions bc frankly I don't know what else to do. I've dabbled in almost every suggested natural fertilty aids there is - I've only ever tried clomid w progesterone suppositories to help w my luteal phase. I'm frankly getting to the point where I need to do one of three things 1) dedicate myself to strict routine natural aids 2) try another ovulatory stim med - my current issue is my follies don't grown well on there own or egg struggles releasing from the follie 3) finally - and regretfully - turn over the baby making to my wife...
So if anyone has w experience w deciding amongst the above options, I would love to hear ur thoughts.
post #106 of 133
Welcome back, Invitn. I'm sorry it's back to this board again and not Q&P. What have you tried so far, other than the clomid? Are other medical interventions an option? I was sad to end up doing IVF, but it was important to me to be pregnant, and I am lucky to have insurance that made it a financial possibility. If it is important to you to be the GP, are there options to try other procedures? I haven't really tried lots of natural remedies, but I would say that with age as a factor I'd be nervous to spend too long on those, but that's just my opinion.

KBFS--Hopefully her way will do the trick! smile.gif There sure are plenty of straight girls drinking their way through the early weeks whose kids turn out just fine, so I suspect that a couple beers this early on won't be a problem.

Pook--I hope things work out with your little boy to stay with you, but I know that sometimes going back to their biofams can be the best. At least you've got some more time to enjoy him, though!

QOTD--we really liked the midwife who delivered E, but sadly she was a late-stage trainee and has since graduated and moved elsewhere. The two main midwives at that practice were great, but they hired on another woman who was just horrible during our birth--nasty, muttered comments about me and the baby under her breath throughout. She was awful, and I wouldn't have her at my next one unless she was the only other person on earth at that point. They also moved to a different office and hospital much farther away, so we're back to square one. We'll need to talk about whether we want to go with the other midwife practice at the hospital we used, or to look around for other options, but I think we'll wait until we're officially ready to leave the RE before we think about it too much.
post #107 of 133
Invitn, welcome back. I remember you from a while back. DP and I are still at it. Ive tried clomid and femara (have you thought to use that one) but this cycle will be natural seeing as I know I o'd on mye own last month. We did find a kd and switched to fresh so we're just working on it and waiting. we'll be insemming the day I get back from a business trip so ill be bringing the opks to Seattle lol. Hopefully you can switch meds snd see better results with your o. Either thing you decide I wish the pair of you the best of luck.

Afm, cd7 and taking it easy and planning for this next insem. Thank goodness we're done moving! Could you imagine trying to insem and feel the vibe while moving nd the stress of that?
post #108 of 133
invitn- having become frustrated with natural cycles and femara-stim'd IUI's, we decided to go the route of IVF. It's costing us 12 grand out of pocket, plus about 5 grand for meds (meds covered by our insurance hopefully). But we're in Canada, where the pricing seems to be different than the states. It's expensive, but we got tired of waiting and the emotional toll TTC-ing was taking on us. So far, on 4 unsuccessful IUi's we've spent almost 8 grand already anyway.

AFM- I have some really bad news. Just as I was getting all excited about this reciprocal IVF cycle, I got a call today from our RE's office. I had elevated cortisol levels on multiple repeated blood draws last week and this week. They have sent an urgent referral to an endocrinologist and want me to get "further testing" and get all of it "sorted out" before we proceed. Ie. our IVF cycle has been put on pause. I am devastated on multiple levels: firstly, we're less than a week away from starting my injectables. Secondly, I'm worried about what might be causing it. Thirdly, I've been taking these damn birth control pills for nothing!?! Lol. Anyway, in Canada, it can be 6 months before you get in to see a specialist (downfalls of publically funded healthcare). I hope I get a phone call from the specialist soon.
post #109 of 133

Hello ladies.


Welcome and welcome back to those new and those returning.  Hopefully you will find your stay on this board quick, easy, and supportive.  I surely have found wonderful insight and amazingly strong women here!


I have been away from posting for a week or so, first awaiting our dr appt last Wednesday...which went south at the point of the u/s.  We saw a gestational sac and yolk sac but no fetal pole or heart beat.  Because my hcg levels were very high, this sent up red flags immediately for us all.

On Thursday, I began spotting.  On Friday, I went to the OB's office for bw and reviewed the u/s report.  At that point the OB warned that I was miscarrying.  He scheduled for me to come in Monday for another round of bw to be certain.  I continued to spot just a tiny bit over the weekend, with no cramping...and still felt very nauseous/tired/etc..  So got my hopes up only to get the call yesterday afternoon that my hcg counts are starting to come down slowly.  


We have another round of bw and possible scan next week to make sure my body is doing what it's supposed to be naturally.  Altho' I have not had any real bleeding and a slight amount of cramping/lower back pain yesterday and today, I am really hoping that I am absorbing the gestational sac on my own.  The last thing I want to do is a D&C.


We are pretty devastated by the whole deal, but also reassuring ourselves that this happened for a reason and not giving up hope for another try.  

Fried, will you please move me to waiting to be ready.


Love to all of you.  I know how trying this process is for each of us, and am learning now more than ever that there is always an element of faith and trust that we have to surrender to.


I am reading along and cheering each of you on!!  Sending lots of positive vibes and baby dust to all!!  And will chime in with personals as we gain more closure here.


Take care of yourselves!! 

post #110 of 133
Thread Starter 
Oh jwaite, I am speechless at your news. I am so sorry you have to go through this. A big hug to you and your DP. hug2.gif
Edited by Friederike - 9/25/13 at 4:05am
post #111 of 133
Thread Starter 
invitn welcome back to the boards. I can't imagine doing it for three years, you're a strong woman. I would definitely run lots of testing and use meds after such a long time. An hcg trigger probably if your ovaries have trouble releasing the egg and stim meds and possibly check into stuff that improves egg quality like DHEA. I wouldn't hestitate to use medicine if sth. else was wrong with my body, so why not for fertility stuff. That is after doing everything in my power to be as healthy as possible like lifestyle changes, diet and natural remedies. But I wouldn't solely rely on alternative medicine for such an important dream. Oh and did your donor get a sperm analysis in case it's him and not you? Or as you said, if your wife is okay with it, have her try for a while. How would you feel in such a situation? I think i would probably invest in some counceling if I had to hand over the babymaking to work through the disappointment and emotions of failure.

QOTD - I would pick the birthing place when I know how the pregnancy is going, if there are any risks and such. Thankfully we have a variety of options from home birth to high level Nicu in town. I already know the midwives from one independend birthing center because our guitar group meets in one of their rooms. I could also imagine taking one of the hospital licenced midwives to a hospital birth and leaving right after if things are fine.

mama oh no! I just started reading your blog yesterday and was so in awe how you managed to synch up and excited because you would start soon and now this. I hope you get that appointment quickly and find out what causes the high levels.

kbfs fingers crossed for sunday/saturday. Enjoy your beer.

agrex your timing sounds great, and with two follies your chances should be way up.
post #112 of 133
jwaite- I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you heal from this physically and emotionally quickly. Good news is- you've proven that you CAN get pregnant.

fried- thanks for following and your thoughts. Any news yet on your IVF plans?
post #113 of 133
Mamaet, sorry to hear of the unexpected change of plans, one of the things I hate about the ttc process. I remember when mye ob told meeh I wasn't ovulating on mye own when we first started trying. I was upset but just took it as a bump in our road and tried to work through it. I hope you get a appt. Soon and get everything straightened out. Good luck.

Jwaite, so sorry for your loss. Lots of hugs your way. When you're ready we'll be here, just take your time.

Afm, getting ready and feeling hopeful fresh pack of wondfos arrived last week and I'm thinking I could use a few more digitals and maybe a new speculum...joys of queer ttc lol

Qotd, Ideally I want a home water birth, but if for some reason that's not possible I've looked up a birthing center that's not too far from our house. Im really not feeling all the hospital interventions and just want to labour on mye own.
post #114 of 133

Jwaite: I am so so sorry for your loss. Big hugs to you, DP and DS. I am hoping things progress naturally for you over the next few days. :Hug

post #115 of 133
Jwaite--I'm so sorry. I hope that it is as easy as it can be for you, and that you heal quickly, both physically and emotionally.

And Mama, I'm sorry about your news, too. I'm right at the same point as you, more or less, and I would be devastated to have it all set back by months and months. I hope you get a quick referral and an even quicker solution!

AFM--saline ultrasound looked good today so I'm ready to start shots on the 5th--I expect I'll get more details after I go in for baselines next Monday. They're being pretty quick and dirty with this--not a lot of details, but it's the same as whatever it was I did last time that worked, and I'm not asking many questions, so I can't blame them. It just doesn't make for good reporting.
post #116 of 133

first of all, mama, i'm so sorry for upsetting news, and i hope you get in to see a specialist soon.  


jwaite, i'm so sorry!  i can't imagine how hard that is to experience, but many on here know it well, and like they said, at least it confirms you can get pregnant.  that is what lady and i have said to each other to prepare in case it happens to us.  i'm sure it can feel hard to find a "bright side" so ignore me if it's not helpful.  just know that i am pulling for you, and hope that you are okay.


there were lots of other things i wanted to respond to, but time is short, so i'll just post my quick update:  u/s yesterday, lining was triple stripe although a bit thinner than last iui cycle, and the clomid worked: we've got 2 follicles on the right side (which lady is convinced is her "good side") and one is around 20, the other still growing, maybe around 18, so we do the trigger shot tonight and then friday we'll do the insem at 9am.  i'm so excited.  i don't even know if i'm excited about the possibility of getting pregnant in particular (i mean, of course i am, but...), i think it's moreso just the excitement of trying!  like, anything could happen!  of course i hope one particular thing happens (or two things...twins!!!  my secret desire, lady's less so), but just knowing it COULD be happening this time is a welcome change from our month off, where no matter how hard we wished it, there was no way we were going to conceive.  obvious, i know, but still, it's so fun to be excited again.

post #117 of 133

Just wanted to say a quick THANK YOU to all of you for being so wonderful and supportive!  I appreciate the 'bright side' point of view and am just in a waiting period right now to see what my body is going to do.  That is the hardest part as of today.  


I am still cheering each of you on and following along, sending lots of loving, healthy, baby dust to everyone!!



post #118 of 133

Jwaite – I’m really sorry to hear about your loss. It is so hard. I hope your body does what it needs to on your own…


sandiegoNGP – I like your enthusiasm. Good luck with this cycle!


Fmorris – I’m glad you’re getting to try this cycle! I hope you enjoy your trip to Seattle! If you want any advice on things to see or do while you’re in town, let me know.


Mama – I’m sorry to hear about the disruption in your plans. And the waiting for the specialist and not knowing what the whole story is sounds extra frustrating. I hope you get some helpful answers soon.


Invitn – It’s awesome that your KD is so committed, but sounds like you’re in a difficult position right now in figuring out the next steps. My partner has no interest at all in being pregnant, but many people suggest that we just have her try, since I’ve struggled to maintain a pregnancy and that has been hard for me...I can imagine what a hard decision that would be for you and your wife if it comes to that.


Kbfs – good luck in your TWW. I hope your partner’s technique works out well!


Pookafaye – Adoption and specifically fost-adopt will definitely be the next step for us if things don’t proceed well for us in the TTC process. (In fact, I suspect that even if kiddo #1 doesn’t, kiddo #2 will enter our lives in that way, although DP and I have not talked about it in detail).  You’re getting (sort of) close to testing time – good luck!


Redrock – I think it is great how much you and your wife have discussed things and that she also tracks your temps. My partner is not so involved or interested in the tracking part of the process and sometimes I wish she were, because it has become so consuming for me.


Fried – exciting that you’ve got an appointment scheduled and will be getting started on the IVF path!


Prettyisa – yikes on the birth control pills...hope your hormones have stabilized some now that you’ve been on them a bit longer. When does the next part of your process start?


Agrex –good luck with the tww!


Bettertomarry – welcome! I like that there are so many ngps on this board, because it helps me to consider my partner’s perspective on things more thoughtfully…and this whole process affects you too, so it makes sense that you would want to be involved and know what is going on.


Liz – congrats again to you – so glad your mom responded well to your news.


I think I may have missed some folks – if so, my apologies – it is hard to catch up with everything that is happening!


AFM – please move me to Waiting to O. My period arrived a day earlier than expected, which means I can try in October since I will only have to miss a couple days of work (I’ll insem on Mon and Tues 10/– the day before and morning of the day of O, since we’re using fresh sperm.) Now I just have to buy a plane ticket. I’m excited and terrified at the same time. I hope I’m emotionally equipped to get back on this ride.

post #119 of 133

Hi folks I don't have much time for personals today but I'm thinking of you all. I plans to start testing tomorrow but AF showed up today and I'm out. That makes an eight day LP :(  I'm not ready to start involving doctors in our process so I will be starting B6, chasteberry and progesterone cream (just ordered that on Amazon - Who knew you could subscribe and save progesterone?) to see if I can lengthen the LP. I follow a low-carb diet because DW is diabetic, that gives me lots of healthy cholesterol. I also eat lots of berries, greens, and other antioxidant rich food. Do you guys have any other suggestions for things I could be doing?

post #120 of 133

Pookafaye: I too have had a different time with a short Luteal Phase. I've taken progesterone suppositories many times during my ttc process and i swear it help extend my cycle at least a day or two. Sorry to hear about AF.... she is a such an annoying uninvited guest in our lives. I love your go- get'em attitude with focusing on the next cycle.


Jwaite: I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through. My thoughts are with you and DP right now. I hope you are in too much physical pain and are receiving alot of supportive words and shoulders to cry on (if needed) in your world.


fmorris: I remember you too. Wow so you have been ttc for over a year. I think after 6 mths of ttc it always feels tough. Glad to see that things are lining up nicely for your next insem. Good luck!!!



Sandiegongp: You sound so spirited and enthusiastic. It is so nice to step back on these boards again and get refreshing perspective that the simply of ttc itself is amazing. You are so right. I had forgotten that. Thank you for reminding me.


Lea: Thank you for sharing that you have contemplated turning over babymaking to your s/o and it is really difficult to imagine do it. It helps validate what I've been going through and makes me feel less alone.


Mama: So sorry to hear about the change of plans. One thing that I have learned about this ttc process that you can't predict anything and have to be ready for the next surprise. Hopefully the pieces will come together soon, understanding what is going on with your levels and you can be back on track.


AFM: Thankyou so much for your questions and thoughts> Friedricke, Prettyisa,Mama and others

So first thing first. So unfortunately no matter what there is no way that DW and I can't afford IVF. My insurance doesn't pay for it and I don't have 10,000 dollars unless I would win the lottery. So there is always that I guess.

KD has been able to get another lady pregnant and he has 3 kids of his own. Yes his sample has been tested before too. So I truly doubt that he is an issue unless the process of shipping chilled fresh sperm in tyb is an issue. But I remember last time I was here- other folks attested to the fact that they have gotten prego by the same process.


After reading the responses, it makes me think that I do need to get my head out of the sand about the reality of difficulty of this process and maybe commit more to medical interventions. I have been so hesitant with Stim meds bc of the ovarian cancer risk and the fact that Clomid didn't do anything...besides cause me polyps one cycles. So since I wrote a few days ago, there has been some events going on. First I've decided to meet with a medical intuitive in October to ask some serious needing-to-be-asked questions. Also I have started to use OPK again after foregoing it months ago when my cycles started to monitored via u/s and I think that I'm going to get a positive OPK reading in the day or so although that is hard to believe bc at my last u/s on Monday CD 13 my follies were 9mm. So I have no idea what's up. I'm going to go for another u/s tomorrow to try to put the pieces together. I'm wondering if LH surge could still fire even if an egg will not be released.

I like the idea of the DHEA. I was thinking about COQ10 too. It couldn't hurt.


So have a great friday all.

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