So sorry, kbfs. But yay for coffee and shenanigans at the wedding in vegas!
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Queer Conceptions September - Page 2post #21 of 1339/3/13 at 4:54pmpost #22 of 1339/3/13 at 5:29pm
kbfs, mye DP and I are using a KD for the first time as well. We did our first insem last month and used a speculum, and a 5cc syringe and it was rather easy (KD was depositing directly into the syringe so all we had to do was insem...thank goodness). I was thinking about trying the instead cup method, but I'm kinda clumsy lol.
AFM, well, this cycle was like a bad hand of blackjack....A BUST. KD went out out town friday and didn't come back until today...I got mye first positive opk (smiley face) on 31august and am pretty sure I missed mye window. DP asked if I wanted to insem today, but I don't really see the point. Mye O day is usually CD 18 and today is 20 for meeh. I just don't think mye eggie is there anymore..but what do I know about timing, right? Guess I'm still waiting to O again. *semi pouting*..I hate when things don't go mye way. And on a lighter note, I'm pretty sure I O'd without the clomid this cycle. Yay ovaries, I'm so proud of the pair of you! Back to the endless cycle of waiting again!post #23 of 1339/3/13 at 5:37pm
Fried, ouch for your cervix! I am hopeful for you too, tho'! How awesome that you have a follie ready to burst, and you got to see the line of swimmers heading its way! Whoo Hoo I have everything crossed that this is it for you!!! What baby books did you get to start off? And what color is your blanket? DW is looking at color schemes ~ most involving pink :) Made my appt with my regular doc today but couldn't get in til the 18th of this month. I put a call into our midwifery practice, as well, but haven't heard back from them yet.
Kbfs, so sorry about the bfn. The instead cup sounds like a great idea, but I can imagine it is tricky not to spill. We used a KD at home and used a syringe...slowly...so the sperm pooled at the cervix. Then an o and propped up hips for as long as I could...this last time we insemm'ed at night and I only got up to use to loo, then laid back down for the night. The gadget that Fried was talking about sounds cool! Hugs to you. I know it's not easy to get that neg test when we have our sights set on one outcome. Have an iced coffee for me, too, pls?!:) And totally enjoy yourself in Vegas! Whoo hoo!!
Redrock, looking forward to that LH surge for you! Hope the timing works perfectly<3
Jenny, BIG HUGS to you ! I am glad you are sharing your frustrations and emotions here...this process is no joke for us. It's hard feeling the pressure of purchasing just the right sperm at just the right time, etc. etc. And I am sure the hormones don't help. So so sorry that your donor is running low...Does your Mom know you are ttc? Maybe she'd be willing to float you a loan so that you could ease your mind by getting more vials of the donor you've chosen? It is definitely a process trying to figure out a donor. Hang in there. I am sending you lots of love and hoping that the fall/winter will distract you!
afm, testing every morning as still getting a bfp. Just hoping for a sticky embryo. As I mentioned about, I can't get into my primary care physician til Sept 18th so I am hoping to get into see the midwives before that. I expect that they will call me back tomorrow. Until then, I guess I will continue to test until they run out (I have several internet cheapies still). I am still feeling a bit of dull cramping...which doesn't really feel like cramping per se. It's more like a tight stretching every now and again. I have felt a bit nauseous today at meal times. And when I got hungry, I felt like I needed to eat RIGHT THEN. Lol! It's very hard not to be wide open excited.post #24 of 1339/4/13 at 12:21amThread StarterOh Jenny those first days are especially hard. I had some AFs when I was struggling a lot as well, like breaking down crying from anger and frustration, especially when I met pregnant people or somebody gave thoughtless und useless unwanted advice. It is just so unfair if the body doesn't do what we want even when we're doing everything right. I know it never really goes away, but I hope it gets a bit better for you soon and that you find a solution to the donor issue.
kbfs I am sorry you're out too. But Vegas must be great, I hope you have fun and can enjoy the trip.
fmorris I was wondering what was up with you. That sucks that you didn't get to insem this month. All the different paths have some disadvantages, either the doctors office is closed and outragous costs or absent KDs who make you miss your O date. Grggh. But good for Oing without the Clomid. Will you use it again though for the next cycle?
jwaite so your wife is looking forward to a girl? My blanket is dark and light blue, turqoise and yellow yarn. The baby books I first got were this (which is the go-to-book for natural pregnancy over here), the classic what to expect and one that isn't available in English about how evolution shaped babies' and children's behavior and typical habits, plus I got a pregnancy journal. It is a very good sign that you're still getting positives every day. Cramping is okay as long as it isn't accompanied by bleeding, it is just the baby snugling into your nice soft lining right now. Stick baby stick.
Thank you all for the crossed fingers. I think I felt O pain at about 9pm which would be 8:30hrs after the IUI. Hopefully none of the supersperm (had the highest motility count this time) came back out with the bleeding so fx it was right where the egg was. We'll know about 10days beore our wedding.post #25 of 1339/4/13 at 12:48pm
Jwaite, how terribly exciting! I like Fried's image of baby snuggling into lining :)
Fmorris, sorry about this cycle but yay ovulating on your own! i've had really irregular periods from pcos for the last several years, and everytime i ovulate i get really proud of myself :) silly, i know.
Jenny, you are my hero right now. you are just such a great example of bouncing back, positive outlook, all the good stuff! i remember hearing about people (including my aunt and our neighbors and others we were close to) when i was younger who took awhile to conceive, but ever since their LOs came (and are now in college!) it became easy to forget that it took a bit of perserverance to get them here. i now have a better understanding of the resilience that must have taken, and i admire it so much.
afm, lady is done with this O, and we are now waiting for AF so our 2nd official cycle can get underway! after taking our first bfn rather hard, we have now recovered our positive outlooks and are just convinced that it's Going to Happen, it's just a matter or when! and, honestly, the timing for this cycle would be much better for me, workwise, than if we had gotten preggers on our first try.
i just got a job substituting for an upper-level class at a gorgeous private college in town (the professor had a car accident! but she is recovering) so i've been very busy with that (i start teaching tomorrow, which is 3 weeks earlier than my regular teaching job at my graduate uni), plus we just got back from lady's family reunion. she had never gone to one before, but we both had a surprisingly great time. we weren't sure how they would respond to us as a couple, but despite being devout mormons and christians (about a 50/50 split), they never said anything weird to us. except when her uncle accused us of being "intimidated by men." that part was gross. but the cousins, who are all our ages, were very friendly and their kids were adorable, and they were all very encouraging about the idea of us having our own kids.
i definitely had a moment in the pool playing ring around the rosy with several adorable 2 and 3 year old girls when i just felt a glimpse of what it would be like to be a mommy. it was such a glorious moment for me. i'm going to hang onto that, because it keeps me motivated. just like being part of this new department (even temporarily) keeps me motivated to finish my grad program and get a job, remembering how sweet the end result of the hard work of ttc will be keeps me energized to get through this process successfully. we can do this!post #26 of 1339/4/13 at 2:33pmJwaite—Yay! Congratulations! Glad things are starting to feel more real!
Agrex—how is the wait going? The second week is the hardest, for sure! And ‘being on antibiotics’ is always my stock excuse.
Kbfs—sorry about the negative.
Fried—ouch! That sounds painful! But glad to hear that otherwise things looked good. Fingers crossed for you! Are you all set for the wedding, or are there still last-minute things to get together?
Redrock—did you ever get the surge?
Jenny—I’m so sorry that your cycle was all weird. It’s got to be extra frustrating on top of the sadness with getting a BFN to have it be early and short. And I’m sorry about the donor issues, too. Are you tied to your bank for some reason? Maybe some of the others might have more options in case the one you are using now runs out?
Fmorris—oh, that sucks! You sound pretty ok about it, though, which is good. Having sat out this cycle, I can say that it was pretty nice sometimes to be able to just relax and not have to wonder if I was preggo, but it still sucks to have to take a break when you don’t want one.
Sandie—yeah, gross. Glad everyone else was nice and encouraging. I remember being shocked (in a good way) when one of DP’s cousins got all excited about the possibility of induced lactation for us. I don’t think her husband was much help with the kids, or something, because she seemed to think it would be AWESOME for both parents to be able to nurse. Ha! Hurray for a fun new job, though, even if the circumstances of getting it aren’t great for the other professor.
AFM—expecting CD1 tomorrow or the next. Getting excited to get things going!post #27 of 1339/4/13 at 4:55pm
Hi! So, we decided she can start with the tests tomorrow. So, we'll see. The second week was DEFINITELY harder than the first. Work didn't help this week. I thought maybe the release of the new Nine Inch Nails album this week would help get my attention else where (they're my FAVORITE band). But it didn't. It just became a wonderful soundtrack for this intense week. So, we're still hanging in there. For the most part anyhow. She's been waking up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. It doesn't usually bother me, although it's been happening way more frequently recently. Last night, however, I decided to lose my mind and think it was just about time to get up. And then I thought that it was Thursday so I thought she was going to test. She wasn't. So then I guess I decided to lay there and think for a while. It was lovely. I paid dearly at work today. I imagine at this point I'll feel better knowing one way or another. We'll either know it worked, or we have to prep for another round and enjoy beer and video game night this weekend. We're trying to think positive and stay relaxed about the result either way. So, we'll see.
Thanks for the tip prettyisa and I hope all is well with everyone else.
Good luck fried!!!post #28 of 1339/5/13 at 12:16amThread StarterSandie what you wrote about remembering the wonderful end result of this process really struck a chord with me, thank you for reminding me to stay motivated. During the last tries I often felt kinda weary, but it is such a great thing we're trying to do. We shouldn't loose sight of that.
Congrats on the teaching job. There's quite a lot of academia folks on this board (you, Lizbian, Mama, me, anybody else?).
What is your class about? Will you stick to the other professors class schedule or invent your own? When I have to substitute for the chair of my department in his lectures and classes when he is travelling I find it much harder to work with somebody elses materials than develop my own. When you say you're in a grad program, does that mean you're doing a masters degree or working towards a PhD? The American college system always leaves me a bit confused, even though I spent a year there.
prettyisa great xou're getting started, shall I move you to the waiting to O category?
We're still preparing bits for the wedding, right now we're getting the little gifts for the guests ready (cream candy, Belgium chocolate hearts, a tiny vial of flower seeds to plant, a personal calligraphed thank-you note and a puzzle piece that we ask them to paint and give back to us). Later today I'll hit Ikea to buy champagne flutes, and hopefully nothing else. I usually can't resist getting tons of cutesy things there (throw pillows, sewing fabric, potted plants, scented candles, new pots and pans, oh my...).
agrex frequent night- and daytime peeing was a pregnancy sign for me, just saying. What kind of tests are you using? Good luck to you and DP!
Edited by Friederike - 9/5/13 at 7:51ampost #29 of 1339/5/13 at 4:06am
Thanks Fried, you too! Your comment about wedding prep reminded me of ours about a year and a half ago. I always get a big smile whenever I think about our wedding. It was a really, really good day. Enjoy all of the crazy prepwork and whatnot leading up to it. It'll be over before you know it. I remember not really knowing what to do with myself for a little while after the wedding because there was no more planning to do. And we are using ClearBlue digital that we picked up in a store.
So, as it turns out, DW's cycle has been fluctuating quite a bit in recent months. The last 2 cycles were 25 days and 33 days. SO, AF is due any time between now and Monday. I think the theme we have going on is we'll see.
We tested for the first time this morning. BFN. So all we can do it keep waiting and testing? We technically might be early. This hope thing is exhausting, seriously.post #30 of 1339/5/13 at 9:42amAgrex--that's got to be totally frustrating. If nothing else, I am glad that my stupid period shows up just like clockwork so at least I know when I'm going to see it every month (and I do mean EVERY month. -sigh-) It's still early for you, though, so still hoping that your BFN will turn into a BFP!
Fried--Can you actually put me in a new Working on IVF category, please? If things go according to plan I won't actually be ovulating again until baby #2 is here! All of that wedding stuff sounds both fun and exhausting! I love the idea of a personalized puzzle from your guests! A friend of mine had us all unroll a skein of yarn at her son's welcoming ceremony and then knit it into a blanket for him, so he can know how many people were there to support his family.
AFM--right on schedule! The whole family is going in tomorrow morning for bloodwork (well, not E, she's just coming along for the ride) since they have apparently added a new rule at my RE's office that all partners have to have STD testing before starting treatment just to make sure nothing bad is going on. Vaguely annoying, but at least they aren't making DP do a full fertility workup or anything. It's nice to be working with them again, the nurses all remember us and are so friendly. Not what I expected when we started going to a big fertility factory, but it makes it much more pleasant to be going through all of the procedures!post #31 of 1339/5/13 at 9:49am
Jenny: Please come and vent whenever you need to, that's what we are here for. This is a hard process (and we just started) you have to have somewhere to get it all out and get support.
kbfs: Sorry this cycle didn't work. Enjoy the coffee and Vegas and indulging in non ttc friendly beverages and foods!
fmorris: What a bummer, I'm sorry you weren't able to inseminate this cycle, but yay for ovulating w/out the Clomid. Will you try next month w/out the Clomid as well?
jwaite: Any news from the midwives? Does DS know you are trying for another? When will you tell him that you're pregnant?
sandie: Great attitude indeed, our first BFN was hard too, but we just keep remember that it will happen and we just have to keep trying. Congrats on the job, even if it's temporary. Oh man, family reunions with mormons. I'm glad that it went well and that they were mostly supportive. DW's family and some of mine are mormon and it's been tough, better than it was but having a baby will definitely make or break our relationship with them.
isa: No surge yet...but almost there. Yay for CD 1 and getting things going for ivf, the bloodwork does sound annoying. I'm glad you have such a great facility to work with. I was surprised about how friendly and accommodating our fertility docs are being.
agrex: Sorry about the first BFN, hopefully it's just too early. Do you know how long your DW's luteal phase usually is? That should help you narrow down when to expect AF.
AFM: CD 15 and got a high on the monitor this morning so I should ovulate within the next 48 hours so it looks like this cycle is going to work out after all. The swim team arrives today, and I'll keep doing opk's in the afternoon to make sure we don't miss the surge. We made dinner last night for our friends that just had a baby and it was so fun to hang out with their little one. She's 1 week old now. The whole time DW was holding her she just kept saying how much she wants a baby, it's really cute and she's going to be a great mom. I can't wait.post #32 of 1339/5/13 at 12:38pmHi everyone! I just got an email from Maia Midwifery (the practice founded by Stephanie Brill, author of The New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy, and Birth) saying that they are now offering fertility webinars. They are focused mostly on queer fertility services, which I thought y'all might like to know about. You can find more info here: http://maiamidwifery.com/webinars/
Abbypost #33 of 1339/5/13 at 6:31pm
Hi Everyone! Thanks for all the congrats<3
Fried, thanks for the beautiful image of baby snuggling in:) Thanks for sharing the books you have...The Consultation with a Midwife looks very good!! And I really like What to Expect as well. But have equally important view points. Your blanket sounds beautiful!! Sounds like IUI was perfectly timed. I'm so hoping this is your month.Here are the good vibes blowing your way from across the pond!!! And WOW to the wedding plans... I love your gift choices. I knew it was coming but I didn't realize how soon. You must be getting excited?!?!
Sandie, sounds like you had an interesting adventure. My DW is very interested in the Mormon culture. I am glad that ppl were accepting of you and your plans for kiddos. Your reminder to all of us to focus on our true goals here, and not loosing sight of what we are diligently planning, thinking about, participating in this process for -- It is all worth it in the end!! I must admit, your words brought tears to my eyes. Thanks. Oh and congrats on the job!! That is awesome! I am glad to hear that the other professor is okay, but that you get to enjoy the opportunity in the mean time. Hi to your lady!
Agrex, I'm hoping you just tested too early. Still crossing everything for you!! Sharing some hope with you
Isa, good luck with the bw. I have a friend in AL whose clinic made both of them go thru fertility testing, even tho' she obviously doesn't produce sperm. We got a chuckle out of that!
Redrock, ooo so excited for you! Keep us posted on how things go. Yes, DS knows we are ttc but we haven't shared many details with him along the way. We tried to keep it a secret from him for a while, but couldn't. He's very excited, as he's been begging us for a little brother or sister for several years now. We explained that it is still early and not 100% definite...he's a very smart 9 yr old and totally understands what we are saying. DW is an RN and is so cute with him, showing him medical videos for kids about conceiving. He asks her all the 'how are babies made' questions, which is great because she handles it all very well. He's mostly just going out of his way to make sure I'm okay and he's helping me. Very sweet boy. Good luck for this insem!! FX and TX!!!!!
AFM/U, I heard back from the Midwifery Practice...they will be calling me at the beginning of next week with an appointment time. The appointment will be the 1st-2nd week in October...as close to 10 weeks as possible, so that we can hear a heartbeat. I am looking forward to seeing my prim care doc on Sept 18th since we won't be seeing the midwives for quite a while. Feeling great. Tired here and there. a bit nauseous when I get hungry yesterday and today. But other than that, all is well. I started taking an additional prenatal Omega 3 DHA/EPA Vitamin. And the midwife who called me back and took all my initial info said that the B6 vit also helps decrease nausea. Glad to hear that:)
Baby Dust to ALL!!!!post #34 of 1339/6/13 at 5:29ampost #35 of 1339/6/13 at 5:58am
Thanks for your kind thoughts everyone!
redrock- Good Luck with this try!!! and I have no idea about her luteal phase. suppose I should do some research.
jwaite- that's really exciting!
AFM/U- Yesterday was a bad day. We had to argue with the doctor's office who didn't want to submit the claim for us. Even though they said they would 2 weeks ago. Not sure what their problem was. It's frustrating because insurance already came back and said that the predetermination was approved, so there's an opportunity to save a little cash. The woman was somehow being nice but straight telling us she wouldn't submit the claim because she deals with these things every day and it won't be approved. I'm pretty sure that's not her call to make....
As for today, another negative this morning. And she is spotting. She thinks AF is coming. Today is CD30. We think she ovulated 14 days ago, and the insem was 14 days ago as of tomorrow. And her temp dropped a degree this morning. I'm guessing we're out. So, on to the next try I guess. What's even more frustrating is that their office encouraged us not to go in when we thought we should and had us come in later than we thought felt right. So now that it doesn't look like it worked AND they're giving us claims issues, I'm harboring some ill will towards that office. But they already have vial #2 and they are the only office we've found locally that participates in the insurance that may or may not work. So, we plan on taking more control monitoring for O, making sure we go in when we think we should, and figuring out the insurance mess before the next appointment. If we have to pay all out of pocket anyway, it might be better to go to a different office if we need more tries. Have I mentioned I dislike uncertainty? ahh well...post #36 of 1339/7/13 at 9:01am
Fried, Yes it did suck. I agree no matter what route we take there will always be unexpected setbacks. GEEEEZ! I was thinking about sitting the clomid out next cycle as well. I did O on mye own and mye chart was very clear about it. I'm hoping that mye lining will do better without it.
Sandiegongp, 2 cheers for Oing on mye own! lol I'm just as proud because when we first started TTC mye doc couldn't tell if I was ovulating which is when the clomid came in. Atleast we're ovulating!! And congrats on a successful family reunion..those can be tricky!
Isa, I wasn't ok about it, but then I think to myself I can't stress over something I had no control over. I don't want to sit out cycles! Hopefully we'll get it all together next month. If that works I'd be due around mye birthday! Good luck with this cycle!
Agrex, I understand the frustration with the fluctuating cycle. Mine has been off a bit as well, which I hate because when things are on schedule its so much easier to pinpoint mye O date. It gets easier. And its not over until AF shows! You know sometimes you have to tell your doc when you think is best. When we first started inseming mye doc was doing it on CD14 but after charting for months I told her that I thought we were doing them too early. I showed her mye charts (all clearly indicating an O between cd17 and CD20) and she agreed with mye findings. You know your body better than anyone.
Redrock, Super bummer I know. I'm leaning more towards no clomid with this next cycle. I'm hoping for it to make it better for lining bc I know sometimes in thin women clomid thins the uterine lining. Good luck with this cycle.
Jwaite, Its alright. I was super disappointed when I knew I was Oing and there was no way to insem. Seems like the dagger in the back was when KD came back in town and was able to donate...which was 2 days after mye O. I hope next month will be better and end up like your last month! Good luck preggers!
AFM, Getting ready for AF to show mid month. I'm hoping Next cycle will be possible because I'll be O'ing the week I have to go to Seattle for work. I should fly back on mye CD18 which is when I normally O. I hope it will permit! In the meantime in between time, restocking the shelves on the OPKs.post #37 of 1339/7/13 at 11:25amFmorris--that's funny. If this cycle of IVF works for me I'll be due around my birthday, too. I can't decide if that would be the best birthday present ever, or if I should hope the kid is early/late so I can keep the day to myself...E was born 6 days after my DP's birthday, so we've got a good precedent going!
Agrex--that is SO FRUSTRATING. I hope they can work it all out (and to your benefit!) soon!
Redrock--how did the insem go?
Jwaite--glad you've got your appointments all set up. Can you believe that you'll be hearing the heartbeat that soon? A friend of mine who is about that far along said that they got to see the little arms and legs moving around. It's amazing they develop that quickly!
AFM--worst period ever. I don't know what's going on, but it's been a miserable, emotional couple of days so far. Maybe my body knows it's about to be whipped into shape? Going to put in my prescriptions later to be all ready to start birth control on Monday morning. We went out last night to a party and are doing so again tonight, and then there are weddings and camping trips and a college roommate reunion in the next month. I'm planning to get all of whatever partying is left in me out of my system in the next 30 days so I can be ready for the tiredness/nausea/grumpiness/baby that I hope is coming!post #38 of 1339/8/13 at 11:53am
jwaite: Thanks for the encouraging thoughts and words. Your DS sounds adorable. A friend of mine said that magnesium also helps with morning sickness, I haven't looked into it yet though.
agrex: Thanks for the luck, we'll take it. I'm sorry the doctor's office treated you that way. That's completely uncalled for. I hope it gets worked out and they do what they are supposed to. Good luck next cycle. It can be hard to advocate for yourselves when the medical professionals want a one size fits all model. The fertility clinic we were going to use insisted on a CD 12 ultrasound, even though I've never ovulated before CD 17. If we end up using them I'd really like to do the ultrasound later.
fmorris: Thanks for the luck. I hope the next cycle works out for you. DW having her work trip this month right after O was stressful but worked out. I hope it does for you too.
isa: The insem went well. I don't know if the timing was the greatest, but we'll see. Sorry about that miserable period, at least it's the last one for a long time right? Have fun with all your partying this month.
fried: How's your TWW going?
AFM: We ended up inseminating last night. Fried, can you move me to TWW.post #39 of 1339/8/13 at 12:52pm
I'm back! I'm so sorry, I have been so busy with the start of the new semester and two little ones running around. I've been trying to read the forum when I get a chance but it's very hard to keep up. But today is important, today I had to share - today is our first insem. I'm so excited! We've had a leisurely morning and are about to get the kids together and out the door for a trip to SF to meet up with our KD. We've had delays (unexpectedly short cycles made our August O line up with a due date that would have been right before final exams), but are ready now. I still can't believe we're getting started. We'll also be trying on Tuesday and O is expected on Wednesday or Thursday. Everyone cross your fingers and send lots of baby dust!post #40 of 1339/9/13 at 9:58am
agrex - that sucks about the docs office, it's surely not up to them as to what gets approved? that's the insurance company's job!
fmorris I hope all the dates sort out.
isa - my mum & sister are born on the same day. They turned 21 & 50 which was a pretty big party! It would be good but also a bit annoying to have exactly the same date I'd think! still, a baby is the best gift so I guess I wouldn't be too annoyed. If I'm having twins they're due 3 days before DW's birthday and she hasn't spoken about it one way or another.
redrock - oooo good luck!!!! fairy dust to you.
pookafaye - thanks and how exciting for you! lots of dust your way too.
Beastie - good luck tomorrow!!!!
AFM having a bit of a problem with my blood pressure at the moment. It's low anyway & keep getting dizzy spells so having to sit/lie down. Tomorrow is my u/s so really, really hoping for a (or two) heartbeat(s). I'll get BP checked at the same time. Also going to get my OHSS checked as still massively bloated & DW is a bit worried about me, esp as we've got a 24 hour flight on Saturday morning and then 4 more flights in the space of 2 weeks. yikes. We weren't going to tell anyone until 12 weeks but have decided to tell close family and friends if tomorrow goes OK. The reason is that it'd be nice for me to tell people in Oz face-to-face, and will make it easier to explain why I'm not drinking. That of couse means I need to tell my mum tomorrow and really really not looking forward to that. It's sad that I'm scared to tell my mum I'm pregnant! at least everyone else will make up for it by being super happy for me.
Good luck to everyone in the TWW & insemming this week xx
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