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September 2013 Chit Chat - Page 6

post #101 of 3384
Ash, glad it went well. As a surgery, that sound awesome. For pain, not so much.
post #102 of 3384
They were dehydration contractions. As soon as I got home and sat down and drank some water, they stopped. Merp. I imagine work will be effing crazy again because of the holiday, so we'll see how tonight goes. I'm still exhausted from yesterday.
My next appointment is Wednesday.
My house is back to normal. Brother and older sister are gone. Parents are gone. Peace and quiet.
That surgery sounds intense. I'd be scared of sex, too. Haha. I'm glad you were still able to make it happen though.
post #103 of 3384
Mal, more hugs to you.

Ash, vagina cut is scary. Glad things seem ok though!

Joanie, thanks for the advice. I'll look into the gluten thing and do some reading. Yeah, vitiligo is autoimmune related.

Nicole, how are things with Jeremy? Did you nut punch him? Tell him to nut up?

I hurt my hand more... I forgot about it before I wrapped it this morning and opened a drawer with my hurt fingers. Stupid. Now it hurts worse.

Jasper peed on the potty, the twice on the floor and once on the couch and then the diaper went back on.
post #104 of 3384
We talked. I wasn't nice or understanding to all of his man excuses. But it's squashed. And make up sex helped, LOL.
post #105 of 3384
Jaimee, Eli weaned a few months back. i put beast milk in his eyes when he was a wee baby, but alas no milk anymore. Not sure about allergies. I am thinking it is because of the molars he is cutting. As soon as I noticed the molar cutting, I noticed the left eye being goopy and his nose is runny. So I am wondering if they are related.

Good luck Nicole... Working while so far along must be super hard... Hugs
post #106 of 3384
So B had a new uprising of pox today. What the hell!? Is that normal? 7 days from first pox?
post #107 of 3384
Seems a little weird, but not problematic, Ash.

Nicole, way to set him straight.

Amanda, ouch. And that's a lot of puddles.
post #108 of 3384
Thread Starter 

Yikes, Ash!  I had no idea!  Glad things are mostly doing well down there.   I think it's normal for pox to appear in 2 or even 3 waves.

 

Nicole, LOL, that wasn't what I meant by nut up, but glad you guys are feeling more connected.  Did you get some lasting contractions from sex?  And kuddos to you for working all the way up to the end.  By 38 weeks with Avalon I was so done with work.

 

Amanda, bummer about your hand and the pee accidents.  I wish I could wave a magic wand and make things go your way for once.

 

Sonja, I would use a warm wash cloth to gently apply some pressure and clean off the goop.  If you keep at it a few times a day hopefully you can prevent blockage and infection.  Teething certainly can cause all sorts of issues.  He might also be fighting something while teething.

post #109 of 3384
Thread Starter 

So my parents just left this afternoon.  I had a big conversation with my mom while my dad and dh took the kids to the water park.  My dad is retiring next year sometime and then they have a big decision to make about where they will be living.  They are in WA, I'm in IL and my sister is in CA.  They're older- in their late 60's. My dad doesn't want to stay in WA- he wants to move to the midwest to be closer to his brothers and to us.  We have previously talked about him living closer to us and how we would really like that.  I brought up this idea with my mom while she was visiting.  She doesn't want to leave WA b/c she's formed what she calls a family there- people from her tai chi classes that she teaches.  I just don't get this.  While I totally understand wanting friends and missing them if you move, I don't get not wanting to be where your spouse is and where at least one of your children is and 3 of your grandchildren.  The conversation completely devolved b/c she thought I was judging her and asking her to make a decision about moving on the spot.  She spiraled into a stern rant about how she doesn't want her life controlled by anyone.  In other words, when I told her that we would like her to live closer to us- we would enjoy having her around more often- she felt controlled.  And when I told her I would like to see her more frequently and have more of a connection with her and be able to help her as she gets older made her feel controlled.  And when I reminded her that her grandchildren adore her and would love to see her more often, she felt controlled.  I do not get this.  Somehow this conversation where I was offering up my feelings and letting her know that we would like to have her closer b/c we love her turned into me being SELFISH.  Yes, selfish.  That's what she said.  She's totally overwhelmed by my kids- they are too intense for her.  My feelings were too intense for her.  She didn't understand where all this was coming from.  She gets tired of spending time with my kids basically. I told her I understood and so do I sometimes and she said, well I'm sorry, but I've already raised two kids.  Wow.  I finally manged to swallow my utter frustration and she managed to say that she was happy that she was wanted and we left it at that.  

 

Anyone dealt with this or understand this?  Is it selfish of me to want my parents closer so that we can have more of a relationship with them?  So that our kids can know their grandparents better?  And yes, so that our families can be more intertwined such that some chores can be shared- you know that whole multi-generation village type situation?  

post #110 of 3384
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaimee View Post

So my parents just left this afternoon.  I had a big conversation with my mom while my dad and dh took the kids to the water park.  My dad is retiring next year sometime and then they have a big decision to make about where they will be living.  They are in WA, I'm in IL and my sister is in CA.  They're older- in their late 60's. My dad doesn't want to stay in WA- he wants to move to the midwest to be closer to his brothers and to us.  We have previously talked about him living closer to us and how we would really like that.  I brought up this idea with my mom while she was visiting.  She doesn't want to leave WA b/c she's formed what she calls a family there- people from her tai chi classes that she teaches.  I just don't get this.  While I totally understand wanting friends and missing them if you move, I don't get not wanting to be where your spouse is and where at least one of your children is and 3 of your grandchildren.  The conversation completely devolved b/c she thought I was judging her and asking her to make a decision about moving on the spot.  She spiraled into a stern rant about how she doesn't want her life controlled by anyone.  In other words, when I told her that we would like her to live closer to us- we would enjoy having her around more often- she felt controlled.  And when I told her I would like to see her more frequently and have more of a connection with her and be able to help her as she gets older made her feel controlled.  And when I reminded her that her grandchildren adore her and would love to see her more often, she felt controlled.  I do not get this.  Somehow this conversation where I was offering up my feelings and letting her know that we would like to have her closer b/c we love her turned into me being SELFISH.  Yes, selfish.  That's what she said.  She's totally overwhelmed by my kids- they are too intense for her.  My feelings were too intense for her.  She didn't understand where all this was coming from.  She gets tired of spending time with my kids basically. I told her I understood and so do I sometimes and she said, well I'm sorry, but I've already raised two kids.  Wow.  I finally manged to swallow my utter frustration and she managed to say that she was happy that she was wanted and we left it at that.  

Anyone dealt with this or understand this?  Is it selfish of me to want my parents closer so that we can have more of a relationship with them?  So that our kids can know their grandparents better?  And yes, so that our families can be more intertwined such that some chores can be shared- you know that whole multi-generation village type situation?  

Oh Jaimee... I am sorry, that sounds like a very frustrating conversation! I don't think it is selfish to want them closer... I also don't understand why your mom would not want to see you more... You aren't asking her to raise your kids for crying out loud... You are asking her to be a bigger part of your lives. What grandparent/parent wouldn't want that? Honestly, she can make new friends at a new class she teaches...

I know you aren't a big hugger, but *here* is a cyber hug. I have never dealt with this, but I know that if my parents could they would move here in a heartbeat. My inlaws are happy where they are at because DH's 3 other brothers with 6 grand kids live within a few hours drive. We are the only ones that live on the other end of the country.
post #111 of 3384

Jaimee, I have not dealt with it, but I understand her perspective. I've worked with several elderly people who were moved to Ohio (of all places) to be with their children. They grieved the change of climate, loss of independent lifestyle, and their community. They were happy seeing their families a few times a year instead of being expected to fill out their social circle with them.  When my mom gets to the age where she needs help, she would rather die than give in. She has clearly expressed this. I have no expectation of her moving toward me. If I want her, I know where to find her. In her rich friend group, having a great life. 60 is the new 40, I hear. Your mom may have also just been upset about the idea of aging and reacted badly. Hopefully she can understand your perspective and express her own more gently in the future and you can have several more small conversations until there's a solution that works. 

 

Potty fail here, Soren woke from his nap and peed on my LAP. When I jumped up to put a towel on the couch, Shay got up and peed into the diaper bag. Yeah, we're really rocking the potty today.

post #112 of 3384
I'll take some indoor shots in a minute, but this is what I see from my new deck:



post #113 of 3384
I just took a quick break from painting so I can't post long and thoughtful but-

Amazing view! That looks fantastic!

And Jaimee- two thoughts, people who age are often horrified of losing their independence. And people who feel like they gave up or were robbed of their independence at any point in life often want to protect it in ways that seem strange to us.
post #114 of 3384

Nice view Kirsten!

 

Jaimee.  Yup, I can totally understand where you're coming from.  My mom had 5 kids and she was burnt out after 3 of them.  Her current boyfriend (who we live with) calls her the anti-grandma because she's just not that involved with the kids.  My older sister who has a toddler Coralie's age feels like my mom doesn't care about her son at all.  My mom literally said to me recently, "I already raised my 5 kids".  My older sister also suggested that she move to TN to be closer to family and she said, "I moved to be close to family once, it didn't work out well".  She often doesn't think things through very well before she speaks.  My mom gives back to us in different ways than emotional or physical.  Emotion just isn't her style.  Honestly, I can see it from both perspectives, it takes a long time to build a good social network, but family is also very important.  My mom does plan on moving with us to South America, but she's more interested in the adventure than the family aspect.   Anyway, I can totally relate to this, only I just don't take it personally, my mom is only capable of so much and she's always been like that.  George's mother is very loving, interested and affectionate, at least we have 1 grandma like that.

post #115 of 3384
Sorry Jaimee. I think Sara's perspective is good. My parents moved 1.5 hours away after my girls were born. They can't handle having the kids visit very often. Their main method of being involved is through very short visits and sending gifts. I try not to take that personally. Who knows what I want when I get older? On the one hand, I want to be involved. On the other, I will want a life outside of family and will likely feel like I've raised my kids already. I look forward to freedom. So it's tough. It's probably hard to find a middle ground.

I seriously am about to lose my mind with my dh (not dear). Twice today he has gone on and on about my spending $40 on therapy for dd1. This happens every time we have an appt. I want to kill him. He says he'd rather spend the money on himself or his issues. News flash- there's no cure for being an a-hole. I have no tolerance for this anymore. Seriously, I just lose it immediately. I need Xanax. I have no idea what to do.
post #116 of 3384

I cannot keep up with you ladies! :)

 

Pretty sure I'm the nun around here. ;) Only have had sex with DH, dated technically 1 person before DH, and DH and I's first kiss on the lips was at the altar. 

 

25 weeks 3 days.

 

post #117 of 3384
OK, a few indoor shots in all its chaotic movef-yesterday glory:

The living area (it's open concept):


The kitchen (I'm sitting on the couch):


The dining area/sunroom, out of which I get that gorgeous view:
post #118 of 3384
Quote:
Originally Posted by KayPea View Post

OK, a few indoor shots in all its chaotic movef-yesterday glory:

The living area (it's open concept):


The kitchen (I'm sitting on the couch):


The dining area/sunroom, out of which I get that gorgeous view:

 

WOW* I WANT! :) Awesome for you!!*

post #119 of 3384
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaliShanti View Post
 

I cannot keep up with you ladies! :)

 

Pretty sure I'm the nun around here. ;) Only have had sex with DH, dated technically 1 person before DH, and DH and I's first kiss on the lips was at the altar. 

 

25 weeks 3 days.

 

 

 

bigeyes.gif  Kali wins!!!!  Thats incredible!

post #120 of 3384

Kirsten, that's a lovely place. It's part of the eco-village?

 

Ash, what are you painting?

 

Amanda, does he feel like there's not enough money in the budget for his needs? I don't have any ideas.

 

Kali, nice bump. You win the nun points, though I find the phrase "on the lips" suspect.

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