Nicole, how you?
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September 2013 Chit Chat - Page 59post #1161 of 33849/12/13 at 5:31ampost #1162 of 33849/12/13 at 5:46ampost #1163 of 33849/12/13 at 5:56amThread Starterpost #1164 of 33849/12/13 at 6:05ampost #1165 of 33849/12/13 at 6:12amThread Starterpost #1166 of 33849/12/13 at 6:22amThread StarterQuote:
It's odd sometimes, isn't it? When we a still in a moment to really think, "this is my life." This is what I've chosen for myself, here's the likelihood of what the future holds, here are the inescapable things, here are the amazing and lucky things...
I had a moment like that last night. And I am in no way comparing this story to the seriousness of the situation you're dealing with, Amanda, so I can only imagine the feelings being 20x more intense....
Austin was sneezing/snotting and couldn't sleep and I thought to myself, ugh, here is fall and then winter. Now we will all be sick every 2 weeks for the next 6 months. Then dh will go away for 5 days for his conference in November and I will be stuck here with 3 sick kids who get up all night long and then I will be sick and no one will sleep and life will be miserable forever. This will be my life, I think to myself. Dh, being the pragmatic one who never gets lost in this type of anxiety spiral, looks at me like I'm completely nuts. Why would I think about the coming months when they aren't even here yet? Why would I stress about a trip that is 2 months away? Why would I just assume we'll all be sick all the time? He tells me sternly that I need to get a grip and not view my life this way b/c this is my life and I need to try to enjoy it, not think about all the negative things that might happen. He's right. I'm sure he's right. But I can't do that. I have 7 years of experience to back up what will likely happen this fall and winter. I have no reason to believe it will be different this year. But how depressing to think that the next half a year of my LIFE will basically be dark and miserable? It's messed up. I guess I'm scarred from all the seasons before these I can't see it any other way.
Anyway, I think you have every right to grieve and ugly cry. These are valid emotions that need to be released. I know the stern love doesn't often help me at all. I told dh that. So, after you're feeling a little more settled, maybe we can all help each other through these next several months as positively as possible.post #1167 of 33849/12/13 at 6:32am
Thanks, Jaimee. I'll always be here to try to make you laugh. Well, maybe not today, though... I don't have the time or the space to cry. I always have to be the strong one. I think what's getting to me today is that in addition to what I am doing to the kids plus the practical difficulties of being on my own with them, I am going to be alone for the rest of my life. I am likely going to die alone, surrounded by cats and empty bottles of wine and no one will discover my body for weeks. Okay, I guess that might sound slightly laughable. But yeah... that's where I'm at. Woo.
Anyway, today is my guess for the baby poll (thanks for linking it!) so I'm ready to go. And I'm pretty sure that is what Nicole was waiting for.post #1168 of 33849/12/13 at 6:36ampost #1169 of 33849/12/13 at 6:42ampost #1170 of 33849/12/13 at 7:42amJust sleeping. I felt PMSey all night, and still feel like doodee. I seriously got this "effing over it" sensation last night and now I can't shake it. Also, I'm tired of pooping.
Amanda, you won't die alone. Like Sara said, at minimum, you've got a flock of kiddos.
Sara, I like your bag/shirt.post #1171 of 33849/12/13 at 7:46am
Sara that's awesome! Both things. I keep meaning to show DH a pic of your bike. He got a trailer and B hated it.
Amanda, you need to get work-drunk.
Jaimee- that is a LOT of sickness. What gives? Can you just take tons of vitamins and put a Purell dispenser next to the door? I taught my kids frequent hand washing, and aside from the stomach flu last year, despite two kids in public school, we did not get the flu or a cold a single time. Im not saying I doubt your kids are clean, because I know they are- but are they avid hand washer and sanitizers? I seriously have sanitizer on my kids backpacks for them to use before they eat, and they have to wash their hands when they get home before they touch ANYthing.post #1172 of 33849/12/13 at 7:49am
Amanda. I can totally empathize with how you're feeling. It must be because we're the opposite twins.. It always takes me until day 3-4 after a trauma to feel a huge emotional reaction to it. I'm sort like Joanies dh, where (in the moment) I can be very cold faced and then a couple of days later I process it and actually feel it. I've actually lost friends over this, after I requested that I needed a couple of days of space and the person COULD NOT wait a few days before freaking out on me. I'm also always responsible for being the strong person that has to keep everything together. My dh and I have gotten into arguments because I'm hardly even allowed to have bitchy days (but he's certainly entitled too). Anyway, I get it. ::::HUGS::::: Oh, and you will not be alone forever!
Sara - Sorry you got rained out. The bag is cool though. I'm never crafty enough to repurpose stuff like that, although I should get better about it for our new life in South America.. I hope that this hair shedding doesn't mean I need a haircut, my hair is short enough already!
Jaimee - I'm glad to hear that someone else is shedding too.. I'm sorry that winter is so tough for you., I think you have some legit concerns there...post #1173 of 33849/12/13 at 7:50ampost #1174 of 33849/12/13 at 7:51ampost #1175 of 33849/12/13 at 8:06ampost #1176 of 33849/12/13 at 8:10ampost #1177 of 33849/12/13 at 8:18ampost #1178 of 33849/12/13 at 8:21amMy boss has had someone on back up for my shifts for about a week now. I asked her if my back up could cover me tonight because work was seriously the last thing I wanted to do. She said I'd have to ask her if she could because she has a field trip today. WHY would you put someone on back up for me that can't cover it? Super annoyed.
This bitchy PMS thing I have going on better be a sign of something. I'm seriously the devil right now. A big pregnant bitchy devil.post #1179 of 33849/12/13 at 9:12amThread Starter
Nicole, I think these are all really good signs. As tired as you are of pooping, think of it this way: you probably won't poop while pushing! That is a good thing, IMO! Any more bloody show?
Ash, I can only speculate as to why we get sick so freaking much. But we have moved... a LOT. I think that is a huge factor. Every couple of years we had to get used to an entirely new climate with entirely new germs. Then school started for the kids. We also have allergies, eczema, etc. which makes everyone more prone to illness. And of course, the littles are no good at covering their mouths and like to wipe snot everywhere. And I was still bedsharing with Avery last winter. Add into this I haven't slept decently in 7 years, my immune system is struggling hard core. So all good ways to get sick, stay sick, and keep getting sick.
I don't use hand sanitizer or antibacterial soaps regularly b/c that has actually shone to weaken the immune system in the long run. When someone is super sick or if we've been somewhere particularly germy, I bust them out, but in general no. I do encourage lots of hand washing. Avalon is particularly, almost to the OCD level, diligent about it. Austin is getting better.post #1180 of 33849/12/13 at 9:13am
Anybody have any experience or knowledge about a situation like this- a friend of mine just had a dating ultrasound and they said they saw a yolk sac, dated her over 5 weeks, but saw no embryo. To me that sounds like a probable non-viable pregnancy. They are dying to tell everyone and Im holding back saying thats probably not a good idea, you should wait- but she is asking my opinion :/ awkward.
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