Kali wins the nun contest, it's over, give her all the awards
Amanda, sorry about your 'H'...
Kirsten, Cool place!
So I was just reading my sons texts, and I found one where he told a friend not to say "kay kay" for ok because "its gay".
And I am just so disappointed. I'm taking it really super personal. Like, really personal, especially as a parent. Because Ive tried to raise him to be much more thoughtful than that. And I *know* he picked it up on his summer visit with his bio-Dad.
Maybe I need to buy him a thesaurus.
I just lost my post twice in a row.
Short version: we have plenty of money for therapy. We spend money on totally frivolous things all the time- iphones, eating out, clothes, new car. He loses it over spending for the kids. Except for Jasper; that's okay. I do what I want anyway, mind you. But I am so sick of the same argument over and over and over. I snapped this week and I can't stop. I am feeling panicky all the time... I haven't felt this way in years. I don't know how to find any peace. This is an example of the lunacy: earlier today, he was talking about replacing our (my) perfectly fine, four year old flat screen tv to get something "cooler." (This will not be happening.) Two hours later, he's pissed about the $40 copay. How am I supposed to deal with this level of ridiculousness??
Kirsten, beautiful view and home. Very happy for you.
Kali, you are adorable!
Guys, I know I lost my board nun status, right? So now what am I??? Can I still have my convent senior title? It'll be ironic now. Lol.
I have 1,000 horribly offensive answers to this question.
Also, he is totally giving your girls the step-child treatment. And that is not OK. Not even a little. You dont sign on to a relationship knowing there are children and not give them the same 100% you would give your own. Period. And Im sorry your feeling so bad. I would say hugs, but Im bigger on high fives. Theres no smiley for that.
Amanda, When arguments become ridiculous (like over spending $40 that you can afford), it's usually about something else. I know it's immensely hard, but it sounds like your dh really needs more affection. Not that I'm excusing the behavior, but when some people are acting unusually bad and mean, it often means they are really hurting on the inside themselves. This might not be the popular opinion, but I think your dh needs more love and attention. At the heart of it, he's probably a decent guy that's really hurting right now and taking it out poorly on the people that he loves. Early in my relationship with my dh, he went into a faze where he got really mean, started to insult me about everything that I did, etc. After picking it apart, he was trying to push me away because he was afraid that I was going to leave anyway. Generally he's a very sensitive and caring person, but he acts very poorly when he's hurting emotionally or feeling insecure. It really doesn't make any sense for a person to behave like that when they are in the most need, but it seems to be far too common. My dh has told me many times, when I'm being a jerk, what I really need is love and support. I'm like, do you know how hard it is to love on someone who's being an ass?? I do try though, or at least to coax out of him what the real problem is.
Do you think that the rest of our DDC will come to our wedding? Which state will we have to move to to make it legal?
Really though, I only know this after years of being with a highly emotional person. Luckily he's fairly expressive and has told me all of these things again and AGAIN until I've finally absorbed some of it. I decided long ago that if our relationship was going to work, I was going to have to change my perspective on things. I also very deliberately picked a partner that is highly emotional and sensitive, where I am not. He balances me out and gives our children a view on things that I am not capable of. We've had some rough patches, especially when I was being really crappy at supporting him, but overall we are a good match. Now that we are both on a path that we're happy with, things are very good. Like everyone always says, reduce your stress and follow your dreams!