I just typed out the worst comeback to this ever and realized the mods would delete it, then ban me, then send the internet police to my house.
It had to do with dexterity. Use your imagination.
I don't have Facebook! Joanie - ANTI-FB WOMEN UNITE! I need about 18 lattes today. jealous. I was always bad about sleeping with exes, too. Whoops.
Amanda - not stupid to be nervous. It would be stupid to ignore your gut reaction to his advances. That sh*t is creeping me out, too. Wish I could see you IRL and hug you. You won't die alone surrounded by cats and empty wine bottles. I won't let it happen. Mark my words. You'll die with me surrounded by empty pill bottles, cause that's my style. Yikes. I'm overtired and over-sharing...
Ash - shut up with the cake. Also please FedEx some to me. I don't care if it melts. I'll drink it with a straw.
Jaimee - yes please don't forget to bring up the butt crack line! Remember when we were all checking our butt cracks? Was that seriously almost TWO YEARS ago?!?
Sara - are you eating today?
Abra - puppy news?!? Also sorry I've been MIA so long, where are you guys living these days? Do you like it?
Mal - I'm with you in sleeping for sh*t land. Except it's been going on for almost 3 weeks here. 2-3 hours a night, never all at once, I am not exaggerating. I'm kind of hallucinating as I type.
Nicole - time to start drinking. Nipple stim bored the crap outta me, too. Gave me a billion BHs a minute but it was overall super lame. Wine time for you, my dear.
Another horrifying night last night. I'm at my wit's end and also heartbroken and devastated. For the first 18ish months of KJ's life I felt like superstar mom of the year. I felt like I had a handle on this whole parenting thing, like I was made for this, like nothing could push me over the edge into insanity because I was living the dream. Well I stand officially corrected and humbled and kind of broken. I feel like a total failure and I've never been so confused in my entire life. I don't know what's best to do here. KJ is obviously in SERIOUS discomfort (ibuprofen/tylenol/teething tablets/calms forte for kids all do NOTHING. Not exaggerating. NOTHING.) and I don't feel like it's good night-weaning time but I also feel like I'm losing my mind. I made myself a giant double-triple chocolate smoothie in the VitaMix today and when I turned it on it went EVERYWHERE b/c I'd forgotten to put the top on AND KJ had switched the blender to high-speed while it was unplugged and it was like a scene in a movie, it went EVERYWHERE and I immediately crumpled to the floor in tears. Not good. DH is working more than any human being has ever worked before and he's a saint and helps as much as is humanly possible but he's just not here enough right now. Somehow he keeps his cool and comforts me despite the massive sleep deprivation and ungodly work hours but he's also just not here enough. Work will calm down starting in the next few days but it's hard to see past the next few minutes when I am so incomprehensibly overwhelmed.
I am so not ok right now. This is without question the most miserable and challenging parenting stage to date. I've always wanted more than one kid and right now I don't see how I could ever go through this again, and that breaks my heart so deeply I can barely stand to type it. I feel like such a sh*tty mom, KJ is seeing me cry multiple times a day and I can barely play with her and she deserves so much better than this. I am in crisis right now and not seeing straight and it's so painful. When DH is overworked and overtired he is simply that: overworked and overtired. When I am overworked and overtired I am anxious, irritable, desperate, depressed, weepy, overwhelmed, unstable, frantic... you get the idea.
Ok. Pros: My neighbor offered to watch KJ for 2.5 hours today. She has a 2-year-old daughter whom KJ adores. So I have that to look forward to. Also, my mom is flying in tomorrow night for the weekend because I'm in such bad shape. Finally, DH has Monday and Tuesday night off and we are going out of town as a family for a night. Also, some day KJ will probably sleep.
I feel awkward and embarrassed being gone for so long and then returning only to unload such melodramatic ramblings on you all but this is my reality and so welcome to the truth of my life right now. Just tell me it's gonna get better. xoxo
Oh Katie. I have been there. Deep, deep in the dark trenches. I FEEL your pain. I can taste it. Avalon woke up every 90 minutes from about 2 months old to 2 years old. No joke. And sometimes it was worse, like when she was sick or teething. Like every 30 minutes. That was just enough time for me to stagger back to bed and basically turn around and go back. Support from friends was the only way I made it through. When you can feel your sanity slipping and you actually start to worry that it's not safe for you to drive or operate your stove or when you start to have visions of harming your child... yes, I've been there... then it's time to find someone to give you a BREAK.
This is where your friends come in. You need some childcare and you need some venting time and you need some naps. 'Cause come cold and flu season your compromised immune system is going to lay you out flat. Can you find someone to barter with? Someone to time exchange with? Or someone affordable like a responsible tween/teen that can entertain KJ at the park or in another part of the house?
The nights will get better. They will. But you might be right, that this is not the time. You may fight a very hard battle to night wean if she's going through something rough right now. I worked and worked at night weaning Avalon for 6 months. When she turned 2 it was like a light switch. She just figured it out. Once she gets through the teeth situation- and you'll need to hold on until then (what teeth is she working on?)- night weaning techniques could help get you to longer blocks of sleep and then when she seems more ready you can go all the way maybe with you sleeping in another room.
But it will be better and not that far off, I bet. And you might be like I was and suddenly feel the desire to have a second child only after my first had nightweaned, started sleeping, and cut down day time nursing as well. I'd say about 2 months after Avalon's 2nd birthday I had baby fever big time and 2 months later I was pregnant with Austin. It is hard to go through all those baby stages again, but you'll be an expert the second time around and by one year old or so, they start to entertain each other and you'll see the pros of 2 kids.
Take heart. You can do this. Get some rest while your parents are in town and think of a childcare plan. Then get help and know that things will be better soon.
Oh Katie, don't feel bad coming here for this. This is what we're here for! I think all a lot of us have been doing the last few weeks is unloading emotional crap, so please, please join right in. I have no advice on the sleeping, probably because I'm the meanest mom in the world and ended up doing CIO with Greta. She just happened to be one of those kids that responded well to it and was going to sleep on her own, sleeping through the night within a few nights. DD1 was so not that way and didn't do any of those things until she started sharing a room with Greta last year. I have blocked those years from memory. Jaimee, as always, has the wise. ((Hugs))
Tonight will be the sixth night in a row that I have been gone from home until after the girls' bedtime. On one hand, score for not having to do bedtime. On the other hand, I miss my freaking kids. Oh and we still don't have a sitter lined up for Greta. Childcare is crap in this town.
Amanda, I am creeped out on your behalf. Seriously, he needs to respect the boundaries.
Katie! You can do this...
Amanda, I am creeped out too by your AH's behaviour ... umm...
Nicole, I so admire you for still working - I am sorry that you can't get the day off! Come on Layla, your Momma needs a break from work!!!
Ash, great cake!!!!!! I second Katie's idea, fedex me a piece
Eli decided not to nap again - oh this day is going to be a nightmare, it was pretty miserable leading up to this point, it is only going to get worse the longer Eli goes without a nap :( It is also freaking hot again. Come on ... I need a break from this heat...
I go off to take a nap and it takes me 30 minutes to catch up! Geesh.
Katie, No puppies today. Her due-date range is Sept. 11-19th, he temp is still high (it will drop 24 hours before labor), so no puppies today. We are currently living in Southern Cali with my mother. We are in the process of moving to South America, probably Ecuador or Uruguay, we don't know which yet for sure. I'm sorry you're sleep deprived, lack of sleep is really one of the worst things ever for sanity. We all have fazes where parenting is really, really hard, but you'll get through it, I promise. I'm glad you're getting some help.
Ash - Awesome cake!
Nicole, Thumbs up on the nipple stim play-by-play.. I hope you have a water-proof case on your phone..
Mal, I can see how your dh might not think JILL is funny. It's only funny if you just got done having sex and your man isn't horny right for that one second, heh.
Yup, it's true. While Coralie wasn't nearly as bad as what you're describing, she was getting into a cycle of not getting enough sleep and staying awake until 11pm every night. Last week we started a bedtime routine (which could be considered CIO, but I didn't leave the room until she was settled) and how she's magically and miraculously sleeping 12-13 hours a day instead of 10.5 at the most! It is okay to change a routine, but someone should be there to comfort her.. I think Jaimee had good success with sleeping in another room?