I think that most kids cry when you change a routine. While I believe in staying with young kids/babies, there is an age where I think a child needs to learn to go to bed on their own. I've tried several techniques and really, it just depends on the kid. My oldest cried for hours (I never recommend that now!!!!!) and Coralie didn't cry at all. I really didn't do much different, they're just different people. However, I do not think that you can always keep a child from crying. Like recently, it was time for Olivine to start having 1 chore (unloading the silverware). The first day she threw a fit for 3 hours before completing it, the second day it was about an hour, the third day she needed me to be near her, and now she does it happily on her own. I think that it's okay to change something and allow children to work through the frustration of it. My experience says that most changes take 3-4 days and then it becomes fairly easy. The most important part of parenting is picking a method and being consistent (which is hard!). Again, I'm actually very, very surprised at how easily Coralie adapted to the new routine. Not only was it very easy, but the last few days she's been sleeping for 12-13 hours a day instead of 10.5 hours total. When left to her own devices, she would stay awake until 10-11 easily.
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September 2013 Chit Chat - Page 33post #641 of 33849/7/13 at 11:02pmpost #642 of 33849/7/13 at 11:15pmI am a slacker and haven't even taken the nun quiz yet. In my defense, I spent the day white water rafting on the Descheutes River with Dh and DS. So, I'm not saying my day was better than your (again) but...
I'm really relaxed. We all needed this. At dinner we managed a 50+ person family photo.
Nicole- I know two people who have had babies today. So, I'm waiting. I mean, I know your holding her in on purpose and all. Also in regard to language, B is right where Connor is. I know she is very smart. She just isn't social, and she sticks to her 10ish familiar words unless she is repeating someone.
Abra that link is great, thank you! I have found some similar but they were very large and intended for bigger kids.
I just read roughly 80 posts and I can't remember most of them.
Becca, I pawn off things I don't want to do on my older kids all the time. That mouse thing is funny though!
I think I will take the nun quiz now.post #643 of 33849/7/13 at 11:21pmpost #644 of 33849/7/13 at 11:22pmEli fell asleep petty fast after he spent some time with his daddy. It feels weird that he went to bed so early, kinda like, now what do I do with myself lol.
Hoping for a better day tomorrow ... I could use a good day ... It's been torture. I feel worn out.
Oh my sis in law had a baby girl this morning, 7 lbs 9 oz... Charlotte Mackenzie. Yay for babies! Come on Nicole ... Waiting so patiently for the little miss to arrive!!!post #645 of 33849/7/13 at 11:47pm
Abra - I totally agree with you, and I know that consistency is a big issue. I just can't emotionally handle the rages, and while I stick to my guns about lots of things, sometimes I don't because I am just too tired. DD is also extremely persistent. Like will go on for hours at a time, and days on end about things. Way longer than I can go trying to maintain my parental authority. And she is hardcore. Screaming until blue, really stressing her little body out. Refusing to give me space if I need it to calm down. She wouldn't just cry in bed, she would very willfully refuse to be in bed. And if I closed her in her room by herself, she would kick the door and break things and scream. And she would very literally stay up all night. I know, I've tried (one horrible, horrible night). We've never been able to go more than one night though, because her screaming is so intense and loud, and we have always lived in close proximity to other people. We've even had the cops called on us.
That being said, it may just be me. She only refuses to go to sleep alone if I am in the house. Dh can put her to bed like any other kid. Stories, lullabies, kiss, tuck, good night, leave. Boom, sleeping kid.
What works best with her is a subtle sort of subterfuge wherein we arrange things to make it seem like her idea. That's how she potty trained, and how we got her into her own bed to start the night (though I still have to lie with her). She has major control issues, poor kid. Here's hoping stability will help.
Case in point: the other night she was crying in bed (normal, overtired kid kind of crying) and lamenting "I just want everything to be MY way! Why can't everything always be my way?"post #646 of 33849/7/13 at 11:54pmpost #647 of 33849/8/13 at 1:11amKirsten, she's 4? She just spent the summer this side of homeless? As a parent I wouldn't be ready to enforce strict structure. My kids all took about a month to relax into the house after our move. Maybe if you think about taking that hard month to gently establish new ground rules, you will be pleasantly surprised by the end. One bedtime thing that worked well with my oldest was leaving the room for brief periods. "I forgot to turn off a light, I'll be right back." "I have to use the restroom, I'll be right back." "I need a drink of water, I'll be right back." I built up to more and longer intervals without ever leaving him upset (or me).
On the flip side of the coin, I worked nights when DD was young and needed catch up sleep, so I went to bed at 8:30 with her every night until she was 6 because that's just how it went. She is 8 and has gone to bed no problem since she was 6 and moved out of it room. She went to bed fine before that, too.
Good luck finding the best way for your family.
Ash, congratulations on your heathenism. I had no doubt.
Sonja, congratulations!post #648 of 33849/8/13 at 5:08ampost #649 of 33849/8/13 at 5:19amThread Starterpost #650 of 33849/8/13 at 5:37ampost #651 of 33849/8/13 at 6:02ampost #652 of 33849/8/13 at 7:00ampost #653 of 33849/8/13 at 7:06ampost #654 of 33849/8/13 at 7:07ampost #655 of 33849/8/13 at 7:20amI am so consistent with the personality test, INFJ. I've taken it a few times over the past 10 or so years, with the same result. So, Kirsten, we can be rare together. I have a feeling I was one question away from heathen on the nun quiz but I'll just have to be content as a wannabe.
Sonja-congrats on the new niece.
Nicole- rock on. It's so hard to work up til then end!post #656 of 33849/8/13 at 7:37amThread Starterpost #657 of 33849/8/13 at 7:38amThread Starterpost #658 of 33849/8/13 at 7:44amINTJIntrovert(11%) iNtuitive(12%) Thinking(38%) Judging(56%)
post #659 of 33849/8/13 at 7:46amQuote:
- You have slight preference of Introversion over Extraversion (11%)
- You have slight preference of Intuition over Sensing (12%)
- You have moderate preference of Thinking over Feeling (38%)
- You have moderate preference of Judging over Perceiving (56%)
I do patient intake, diagnostics, treatments, administer meds... I bring the patient into the room, ask the owner what's going on. Take it back, do a vitals check... Run any bloodwork/labs the doctor may want (Which includes drawing the blood), administer any meds the doctor may want (Via injection or by mouth), place catheters, put them on IV fluids, hospitalize, fill prescriptions, etc. I am a "nurse", but in the animal world, we do everything, where as in the human world, there's a different person for everything that needs done. A hospital has techs, assistants, nurses, and doctors, etc. We have a doctor and us... 3 of us a shift during the week and 4 on the weekend. LOL
The only thing that's harder is I can't restrain rowdy dogs or cats right now, and I'm slower getting off the floor. LOL I also can't pick-up heavy dogs or take x-rays. But my own personal issues are the first two, restraining and getting off the floor.post #660 of 33849/8/13 at 8:07amSara - yeah, I'm not generally good at strict structure anyway. I do feel like I have to strictly enforce against violence and super-rudeness (like spitting) and safety matters. That's usually what we have the screaming over.
I've tried the leaving for short periods but it doesn't work with her. She insists on coming with me. I can't even start by having her in a different bed in the same room. She must be velcroed to my side. I am definitely more patient now while we are settling in, I'd never attempt a radical change right now. Just like we are waiting on night weaning and potty training O. It may even take longer to settle because we've been so unstable for so long. I'm OK with that.
Nicole, I am amazed you are still working!
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