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hate tandem nursing

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 

I stuck it out through pregnancy even though it hurt like hell when I had no milk. On advice of my midwife, we had scheduled nursing times three times a day (morning, when i got home from work, bed) and I only let him nurse for a minute or two because of the pain.  It worked well and nursing was a non issue.  He often forgot to ask.


Now with Baby (7 weeks) it doesn't hurt anymore though it feels so creepy that I still can't do it long.  We still have our scheduled nursing times, and I still don't nurse him for long - maybe 5 minutes but probably closer to 3.  But, either because of the milk or because seeing the baby nurse is a trigger, he pleads to nurse all day long (I never say yes outside our scheduled time) and sometimes fuses and cries when I say our scheduled nursing time is up.  Sometimes I think it because I am withholding, so I'll decide to nurse at our scheduled time till he wants to stop, but by minute 7 or 10 he is still sucking away, and I can't take it anymore, so ill say "ok that;s it," and he is just as fussy as when I call stop at 3 minutes.


I'm ready to wean him, but have no idea how and it isn't a good time because of baby and him starting preschool.  He's three.


My questions

1) does tandem nursing get better?

2) when will he wean if I stick to my plan of letting him self wean?

3) if I decide to wean now or maybe in a few months, how do I do it without rejecting him?

post #2 of 4
Thread Starter 

me again. I'm pretty sure the last time I posted here it was when I was struggling to even nurse my now three year old (we had a very rough start).

post #3 of 4

Here's my input.


1)  Yes and no.  I tandem nursed my kids and it got better.  My son had free access to the boob.  But then it got worse, he was more demanding and I felt all I did all day long was set down one kid just so I could pick up the other once to nurse.  I cut my son down to 2 nursings a day when he was 4 and it helped quite a bit.


2)  i don't know when he'll choose to wean.  My son wasn't self-weaning so I weaned him in January.  He was five.  I also weaned my daughter at the same time since I was done done DONE with nursing.  She was nearly three.  I feel that if I had weaned my son earlier I could have continued nursing my daughter.


3)  I don't know.  This is one reason I weaned both at the same time, because then it was "fair".  I drank teas to dry my milk up, so I talked about how I wasn't making milk anymore because I didn't have little babies.  I have no idea how to wean "fairly" when the younger child is still nursing.


Best of luck, I hope you can figure it out.

post #4 of 4
I, too, hated tandem nursing. I endured it for four months because I didn't want to make big sis feel the baby had stolen me from her. But finally I had enough. I explained to DD how the baby only ate milk, but she ate lots of things. Mommy was having trouble making enough milk and having enough time to nurse both of them. Since she could eat food, she needed to give her milkies to the baby. I asked how many more times she wanted to nurse. She said three. We planned a "Weaning party" complete with cake and presents. And that was that. She was okay with it. She had just turned four. It is now one of a long list of things she resentfully has given/shared with her little sister. I now realize no amount of boob milk will overcome sibling rivalry, so I'm glad I didn't kill myself trying! eyesroll.gif
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