How long is it *physically* necessary to night nurse? I plan on breastfeeding until she's ready to stop/hopefully 2ish/wait and see kind of thing.... but I have friends who have kids who complain to no end about being pawed at in the middle of the night by their toddlers who are still breastfeeding and want to nurse in the middle of the night. I get that it's comforting, but I know that THAT will put resentment into my breastfeeding relationship- I only want to night nurse as long as is physically possible, and then offer before bed and nurse/cuddle in the mornings- that's what i think is ideal. I know I will not tolerate or be able to deal with waking up to feed a toddler who doesn't physically need it. My husband works as a HS teacher and has to get up at sunrise and commute an hour- and already has sleep issues with getting up in the night from anxiety, but we are finally getting that under control with herbs and a strict sleep schedule which is good because once the baby comes I don't want him waking up twice as much from anxiety and having a baby up at night~ the point is--- I do not want to sacrifice our sleep any longer than we have to once the baby is here- I know that they need to nurse pretty much constantly when they are newborns, then it stretches out to every 2-3 hours depending on the baby (and some do sleep for long stretches through the night)-- when can they just sleep through the night because they don't need to eat?? I know this might sound selfish to some of the militant breastfeeding mommas.... but I think it's important to put the marriage first and part of that is sleeping together in the same bed and not allowing unnecessary stressors to wear on the relationship.
for the record we plan on co-sleeping both in the bed and with a co-sleeper on the side of the bed while baby is really young, and then I guess we'll wait and see where to go from there. I always thought I'd go 100% crunchy mama path- co-sleeping and super extended on demand breastfeeding, but after taking care of many kids whose parents do that (i live in a hippie town), I just think it might be better on our marriage if baby can self-soothe and fall back asleep by herself- because sleep is already such an issue with us.